It was a quarter after the clock striked 12mn
She decided to go wear her favorite dress tonight
She makes sure it hugs her body perfectly tight
But as she looks in the mirror, she sobs and thoroughly cried

It’s 1:30 am and she went for some drinks
At the club, she dances to brush of whatever she thinks
After a while, a man walked unto her after giving her a wink
Without knowing his name, they kissed relentlessly in just a blink

The clock ticked at 3:00 am and the man is now gone
Leaving her with some smudged lipstick and simply alone
She was smirking while in the thought of what happened
Someone noticed her and gave her the attention she needs

She drank a little more—no, she drank a lot
She continued drinking until she doesn’t feel anymore
She’s tipsy, she’s wasted, she can no longer take it
Still, she lits a cigar and whispered, “****, it.”

It’s almost 4 am, she is starting to sober up
She just finished her 5th cigar and decided to leave the club
On her way to her place, she started grabbing and pulling her hair
Tears continuously flows from her eyes everywhere

She reached her condo, and started to unzip her dress
She then checked herself in the mirror blunting, “What a mess.”
She touches her naked body and examines it with disgust
She screams, she curses, and hurts herself like it is just

6:00 am, spaced out, she lies on a corner of the wall
Her alarm rang and unconsciously, she makes her way to the hall
She prepared herself as she goes off to work
She bangs closing the door, “I don’t want to be me anymore.”

I don’t know how you handle my complexity but thank God you do.
There are lots of secrets I’ve been trying to hide from you.
Starting from how things were ****** up even before we met
Unto now, where simple stuffs are getting me upset

You know what, if I were just good at explaining myself
I would have told you stories that deafens my head
Like how I badly pleaded for my life to end
Because I’m never good enough even for myself

To be honest, to you, why am I dedicating this poem?
You already got tons of my breakdowns to absorb.
Sorry honey, I’ve got no one listening to me
So please, I ask you to bare considerately

I wanted to apologize for the person I have become
For being someone whom I never imagined I’ll turn into
Always being a *****, selfish and imprudent
Trying to stay away from any possible harm

My past is never an excuse for me to treat you rudely
Still, I want to say sorry for pushing you away from me
I got a pile of fears and insecurities all over my body
I hope that you have the strength to tag me along with your journey

With every words that you say,
Did you mean it?
When you held my hand,
Did you actually want to touch it?
No, no, no--- I'm not doubting you
It's just that, the feeling is a hue
I, getting lost with the beauty of blue
Slowy turning into purple,
Oh God, I'm torn into two
You said, you were lucky
Are you pertaining to having me?
Or the thought you are not alone anymore
Well, I can stay,
Aware as you can be.
But please, oh please
Why change my individuality?
When I thought love was real and accepting
You become nagging and demanding
You wanted a woman of modesty
Instead, I'm a girl full of insecurity
With all hopes, I ask you to consider kindly
Make me cherish the love you tell me.