i may have never been good enough for you,
but i sure as hell will be good enough for myself.
never again will i let anyone eradicate my self confidence
right before my very eyes
and never again will i succumb to trying to living up to anyone's standards besides my own.
especially to that of a boy.
i can't make your body ache to intertwine with mine,
neither can i be your muse,
and neither can i make your heart go into cut time every time i'm near.
but the good thing is,
it doesn't matter.
you can't force pieces that don't fit
and you just can't force feelings that aren't there.

"My heart burns for your love but when you dart away from my gaze, its as if you put out the violent flame... "

She kissed me
not because
she wanted to
but because
she could.

We fell in
love.
Not because
we could
but because
we wanted to.

We made
mistakes.
Not because
we wanted to
but because
we could.

We thought
we were
perfect.
Not because
we could
but because
we wanted to.

I vomited in
the bathroom
of a
Baltimore
7-11
because
sometimes
you cannot
hold it in
much
longer.

Her hands shook
as she held her
mirror
because
sometimes
your reflection
can only
tell you
so much.

My body shook.
Her body stiff.
And when
the bodies
move
the hearts
stop.

She lied some.
I drank words.
The veins
in hands
are maps
to imagined
consciousness.

Really,
it's just
a
*******
*****.

Music to
my ears.
Nervousness
between
blinks.
Noise to
my brain.

She said,
"I love you"
not because
she wanted to
but because
she could.

I said,
"I love you, too,"
not because
I could
but because
I wanted to.

I didn't know I could feel this way, particularly for you.
Its like you knew what you were doing when I fell for you.
Then when I finally owned up to it you hid back and consumed yourself in the darkness, blending in with the crowd.
Now I latch onto anything to free my thoughts from you.
Yet no one can help for they cant see,
That the only one that can cure me is yourself, but that wont do much since you're the reason for my tears.