I woke up with a panic attack

A boy died
when I was still awake at night

that same night
I wondered if I die alone in my locked apartment,
how many days it will take for people to look for me

maybe
It was a warning from God
for me
and every girl out there like me

There was this thing
that I still can't forget about you

Two conflicting scents
But both are intoxicating
in their own way

the scent of cheap fabric softener that I fairly used
and
filtered cigarette smell sticking on your jacket sleeves

Maybe if I miss you that much,
I could try to recreate
that smell on my sleeves too