at 4 in the
morning the sun
is never up
but i usually am

i worry
about things
that are out of
my control
even more about
things that are

get up early
when i work
and earlier
when i don’t
the older i get the
more i learn
sometimes you
need to cry it out

alone
at night
into your pillow
the blankets
wrapped all
around you

sometimes you
need to cry
and cry
and cry

until the morning
sun falls across
the tears dried
under your lashes

and the lump
in your throat has
dissolved so you can
breathe with ease

you need to get up
let hot water
wash it away
let the steam rising
from your mug soften
any sorrow left around
your morning eyes
take a deep breath
don’t mention it
to anyone

and
just
keep
going

i will
just
keep
going

I'm happy sleeping alone
I'm happy in my company
I do want to be in love and melt in the beauty of it
But for now
I'm happy alone

Lost and confused by who I am supposed to be,
grasping straws and still in search of this uncertainty.
Searching for all the answers to my unasked questions.
No luck in finding who I'm supposed to be or who I was.
Did I travel the path unknown willingly
or did my emotions blindly misled me?
How can I conquer this fear and uncertainty?
I'm tired of wearing this cracked mask.
My emotions are getting the best of me,
yet still I continue wearing this mask.
Pretending that my fears aren't yapping at me
constantly nagging me to let go and let someone in.
I'm sorry it's too dark in here to let you in
this cold, dreary black abyss.

Why is the silence so loud
Why is everyone watching me
Did I do something wrong
Tormented by my own mind
Outside I'm fine
But inside I am screaming
Breaking at the seams