i know this is a place for poems, but I need to let this out. I am over whelmed and I don't want to be here anymore, and o its not just her. It ls everything. And I simply just am giving up..

Drowning,
Deep down,
Flooding inside,
Facing life,
Feeling as if I had no say,
And feeling as if I had no life,
Drowning,
Deep Down,
No feelings inside,
Nor the outside,
Broken,
Physically,
Mentally,
Emotionally,
Drowning,
Dee­p Down,
It's all coming to an end,
Scars,
And more scars,
Inside and out,
No one to save me,
No one to help,
Drowning,
Deep down,
My wrist are flooding,
My brain is exploding,
And it's all simply about to come to an end,
Drowning,
Deep down,
No feeling in my body,
No feeling in my life,
Is there a meaning in being alive,
Drowning,
Deep down..

Why should i care?
You  sat there and let me hurt.
You didnt do anything.
You treat me like ****.
Obviously.
You have never cared.
And still.
You act like your a friend?
Well your not loyal.
Even though i still have some of feelings for you.
I don't want anything to  do with you...

If he tells you he loves you but doesn't ever prove it, let him go.
If he pushes you down more than he picks you up, let him go.
If he doesn't make you smile like he did the first time you saw him, let him go.
If he's the reason why your pillow is soaked with tears every night, let him go.
If he ever threatens to leave you because he doesn't get his way, let him go.
If he's cracking your heart a little more everyday, let him go.
If he makes her smile while you're sitting alone crying, let him go.
If he makes you hate yourself, let him go.
If he tries to change you, let him go.
If he forces you into things you don't want, let him go.
If he's the reason for the empty feeling in your chest, let him go.
If he leaves and comes back whenever he pleases, let him go.
If you've given him more than one chance and he ***** up again, let him go.


Letting go is one of the hardest things to do, but sometimes there's nothing else you can do. Yeah, I know you love him. You're more important, though. I promise that you will be okay without him. Don't let him drag you down no matter how much you love him because I guarantee he doesn't love you as much as he claims to.



                               B.S.

Last night,
I was going to end it all,
But when you said those words,
"Baby I love you"
I broke into tears,
I feel broken,
Like my chest is empty,
And it's closing up,
But when I'm with you I feel,
Like everything is okay again,
The words,
"we are getting worse and worse and we will end up braking up"
It broke me,
I lost all hope,
And gave up,
6 days and it makes 5 months,
Why give up now,
If we think about it they didn't want us together at the beginning either,
Last night,
I told you I couldn't make it through the night,
But you said you knew I could,
That's the first time I have ever heard that,
It made me smile when I was in tears,
Last night,
You had to get off the phone,
When we hung up,
I went straight to bed,
But I didn't sleep,
I couldn't find out why,
But this morning,
I realized the only thing on my mind last night,
Was you and why I couldn't loose you,
Yes, today I seem a little weird,
But, I still feel empty,
And like my chest is closing,
And Today I can't seem to come back to reality,
And it hurts,
So don't take what I say today,
As I am being a *****,
Because I can't even seem to know where or what I am doing today..
Just know I love you..

If I carved the words "I love you"
into every inch of my skin,
would you believe them?
Would you believe me?

If I painted a picture of my heart
with the very blood that it pumps,
would you cherish it?
Would you cherish me?

If I promised that there was no one else,
that there was only you,
would you accept that?
Would you accept me?

Ever since I was a little girl, I saw things no one saw.
I always looked at the world with awe.
I saw the beauty in people who weren't loved,
In every ******, outcast, and victim.
I was isolated from the world,
For I was merely a girl.
While girls liked dolls and wanted to be Daphane from ****** doo,
I wanted to be Velma and do what all the boys wanted to do.
I robe my bike around my yard,
Even though I would fall on the rocks and hit the pavement really hard.
I had little friends,
I was weird to no end.
I tried to be normal,
I tried to catch up to the people.
However, they didn't see me,
I would just be left all lonely.
I hated elementary,
They only reminded me of being lonely.
I wanted to leave,
I wanted to be free.
I remember that wish as I hung out at the swings,
How I wished that I had wings.
I wanted escape the oppression of my school and home,
I wanted a real friends and I hoped.
Boys were always first.
At home, it was not different, they were the worst.
My older sister said that I had everything that I wanted,
That I was a spoiled brat and unwanted.
My older brother would push me and grab me by the arm,
Saying that I was in the way, causing even more harm.
My mom sided with them,
She only didn't want to get in trouble from HIM.
My dad,
The core of troubles, the only one I can't stand.
Always putting boys first,
Teaching us girls that our job was to cater to them and worst.
We had no say,
We had to do everything he wants in order to stay.
I found no beauty in the family,
It was rotten to the core, it was greedy.
I was hoping that they would see the things that I see,
Stop the nightmares from my closet from coming after me.
I wished they stopped arguing,
I wished they were a real family.
I had no escape,
I didn't even have my own dreams to escape.
I was haunted by nightmares and arguments,
I wanted them all to end.
I would watch a monster from my closet **** everyone near me,
Coming after me.
No one listened,
I was mistaken.
I grew older and eventually stopped pretending,
I shut myself in my walls and shielding.
In the 3rd grade, I stopped wearing pink,
I stopped listening.
I hid behind a frown,
I stopped chasing after the ones who weren't around.
I became an adult when I was young,
I didn't even have a childhood to be proud of.
I couldn't stop seeing beauty,
But I refused to be a victim to their cruelty.
I was an empty shell of a innocent girl,
A young soul who saw the beauty in the world.
I had kept this charade for a couple of years,
Then my wall started to get cracks and tears.
I remember people who saw me,
I remember the ones who became my friends and, later, family.
They finally came,
They finally saw me for who I am and didn't want me to change.
My walls took heavy fire,
It was weakening more than I had desired.
I was scared,
What if they didn't really care?
We went on to high school,
Still friends from middle school.
Then he came into my life,
Putting an end to my shell to hide.
My love came and pulled me out of my shell,
Promising freedom from this hell.
I couldn't believe it,
I didn't think that I was getting what I wished.
My angel with black and red wings,
He's finally come to save me.
They came to save me,
My friends and my real family.