Spending intangible dollars at the mercy of my ever growing appetite,
Instead of buying my ticket out of this perfectly advantageous country,
Which focuses solely on my beauty and money.
I neglect my inner advice telling me to drop it all and run,
To where I can breathe and focus on God,
Promoting a healthier way of living and improving humanity.
Momentary hope that unrealistically characterizes perfection
As a quality that I can mentally download and miraculously make the above, true,
Never seems to linger long enough to actually induce action,
Which leads to disappointment draining the motivation essential to recover my missing pieces,
Which pushes me to crave cash I don’t have, to pick up that dose,
That hushes the unwarranted guilt that seduces me into thinking that I’m not incredibly blessed,
And that I can’t handle what I’ve been dealt,
Blurs the doubts I have about my abilities, my self- worth,
Forcing me into a state of content that awakens my creativity,
While vaguely being able to make out memories of let down led by myself and my mother,
Who was a part of what was never good enough for my idea of a perfect family.
I’ve wrongly accepted that a mediocre life-performance is to be had while following the crowd,
While obsessing over flaws that are negligible to my true purpose in life,
And with that I’ve become stifled by the decision to remain effortlessly stuck.

Some days, love is my friend
Easy to slip away and into the Universe’s embrace.
“Teach me about myself” I’ll say
Cause even though I feel like I understand,
It's hard to tap into that natural intelligence, hard to listen to my soul, be still.
Got a devil in my ego,
Telling me I'm content with submission and stagnation,
Whispering louder than my screaming heart,
My poor heart, pleading for internal peace,
But my ego says, "That’s no good, you're not there yet, you might never be.
So, **** it, here's a drink."
Forget everything I know about loving myself or giving a **** about anything,
Focus on nothing.
Fidget, uncomfortable in my skin
Shutter out of the Universe's embrace and into scrambled thoughts.
I come to, “but I'm awake!" I’ll say,
"I know you're there and I won't listen to you, Ego!"
Unsteady, don’t know what’s true so I can't listen to anything.
My natural intelligence numbed, so what powers my heart is yelling to me,
"Listen, listen!
Love is your friend
Stay still so I can come to you my love, my sweet!"
If only I could,
Some days I just can’t be still.

At last I’ll unleash this fervent impulse to grab you, fused, no slit for air to breach
Bodies become one, lingering there to escape time
If only I were a ribbon, I’d glide around your skin in one long sensational movement
Set your pulse to mine, a faster, breathless beat
The reality that I’m yours more apparent with every silk touch
Take it, my body is yours to chart, it begs for you, your words, your lips, your being
Transformed by truth, my reality expands to the universe
Everything I am, sent to the stars and back by the sound of your voice
To you I am forever true, for these eyes that inspire your fire only seek you