It will come to everyone, at some stage in their life, an instant stoppage of time, where images blur and fade away only to convescale into tight focus stabbing deep with a sharper pain.
That one thought that paints a thousand pictures of silent screams that no one heard. That instant when you knew all the words you spilled are only piling up as a mound of dirt.
A moment of clarity as clear as the centre of a bubble. That one moment in time when you ask yourself...
am I really that unloveable?
that will be the whisper of a small voice inside an empty space. It's the same question you'll ask of the mirror while looking at the same face.
That one inner warning that hits with piercing clarity. It will come to you, rest assured, when your lost and alone and you don't want charity,
you won't want pity or useless platitudes spilling from dead lips that leak poison from inside. You just want one person, just one, to hear what you say and hold your hand and not try to hide.
That one moment in time should not be a reoccurring event,
but when it is, the shock is less, you become just that little more hardened, and less hell bent,
to share your life and your feelings
and your heart.
It really is a lesson that should be learnt from the start.
this is not about writing, this is about losing that one person, time and time again. the one you thought would be the one you could call a friend