i can't stop thinking about you
why?
what is it about you
that leaves this lingering effect?
i don’t want this
i keep dreaming of you
its always the same.
and sometimes i get aroused
at just the sound of your name
in my dreams you are chaos,
always unfurling in your beauty.
you are indescribable to me
for words are just letters working together to be beautiful, and you are more beautiful than any group of words can ever hope to be
in my dreams you drench me knee deep
in your wit and soundness
you fill my head with such tender words.
i wish i could let you know how much
i love to watch you sparkle in wisdom.
how can i explain to you
that when i feel myself awake
i try not to blink an eye
so that i could live off your touch
for the rest of my life.
as crazy as it sounds,
not even in my dreams
have i ever dreamt
of a girl as perfect as you
and though i continue to dream in fear
i think we both know
i have secretly loved you for so many years

when you are young they assume you know nothing
but i knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss
i knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs
the smell of smoke would hang around this long
cause i knew everything when i was young
i knew i’d curse you for the longest time
chasing shadows in the grocery line
i knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired
and you'd be standing in my front porch light
and i knew you'd come back to me

i look at her
and i forget i exist
and when i'm lost in thought
she hangsout in my dreams
she lives inside me
corrupting my essence;
expending my vibrance
and if she could have my last breath
she’d take that too

i wondered about a kiss
the way it would taste
like tahaitian vanilla
and your sunday coffee
down by greenwich village
where we saw all the worlds stage
through a rose colored glass
and those heavy eyes
when the grass was greener
and you left me there to die

a piece of art you are
in your worn out sleeves  
and heart shaped eyes
laid out in a bed of cherries
and a field of tulips to share with me
your ocean view windows
that streak the blue sea
and your sheer white pearls
that melt onto me
like chocolate fondue
warm and sweet;
you are the taste, the mouthful
of words that sit on my tongue
get along with your truffle kisses
and your red wine lips
begging for the chateau
to soak in the void
and with a mind shining thought
you traced my back
with the stem of a flower
that went on and on
for the next half hour

the days draw soon
and it seems like
every second i see you now
is worth swallowing my pride
so i let it overwhelm me
and put it on my dress,
on the sleeping hill
where the butterflies i ate
ensembled me as whole.
where the distance kept growing
and the mind kept flowing
telling us there is no such thing
as steering the uncompromising hand on time,
for i never believed
all the greatest ecstasy in life
could exist in one single moment

the rain is dense
& the day becomes faint
no time to count the roses
or the stir up my spine
it feels like february
from where i'm sitting
when my hair comes down
and her words get shorter
take off your suit
and tie me down
******* adrenaline
it's heavy on my tongue.
seven minutes in heaven
with kisses that linger for hours
and when i feel the sun
set on my back
i knew this moment
would never last
it's a day overgrown
if the rain runs out
and wakes us unrested
so put your car on drive
& bind back his tie
i want to kiss you now
but that won't ever mean goodbye

my skin & my flesh
all through my veins.
they tell me, let it out
so i do, but i can't
and i hide it
so no one sees
everybody knows
but nobody really knows
so i cover it up.
no swimming
never swimming
always drowning,
drowning in these
thoughts

beyond my time
beneath your still
paralyzed my mind
against my will
pink lids, bruised lips
all down to your fingertips
ruined me from the start
no time to clench
or protect my heart
rocking me in the hilt of your spoon
toxically spilling
too fast, too soon
i am lost to memory and
sketches of passing time all in just a split
and i wanted to be loved so badly,
i would have let anyone do it

my cry survives
the strain in my throat.
i become acquainted
with imminent heartbreak
but when i took a moment
to look around,
all i saw was your perfect face,
mirroring everything about you
that i fell in love with,
divulging your imperfections;
unveiling your vulnerability,
framing your beauty
and humanity
into a reflection of
the last two years
that unknowingly trails
softly behind us
and now i suffer from no
aching heartbreaks or fears
and i fear not the pisces
who broke my heart
but wipe away her tears

your love is like a candle
untroubled to handle
crafted with senses
your candlewick heaves
and chases untimely
blue and smooth
it trails divinely
melts under my touch
and dresses down
a molten savor
weak and steady
it lugs me flavor
uncharge the flame
in the cold throughout
that shapes me with form
then burns me out
scorching and
heavy; a vibrant tone
never here to stay
but it's where i go
when i'm alone

i'd paint you a mouthful of diamonds,
mold you a thousand paper planes,
build you a million paper cranes
unfold your mouth
and shape its form
today it's a rose,
tomorrows a swarm,
so i bend time in half
and fold it like art
as long as you swear, that you’ll never tear
my paper crane heart

when i slip into my unconsciousness
there you are so far away.
and here i dream every day,
the virtual you
the virtual me
becoming virtual we
and you're etched there forever
in the center of me
because you don’t just cross my mind,

you live in it

kissing away the spice of fall
i can’t help but want to remember
the way you glow brighter
with every passing moment.
sunrise starts the day
like a golden peach luminescense,
but the tenderness i feel
is no where near
to the love you give,
it is not that of the sun,
but from the warmth
of your beating heart next to mine,
burying in the sweetness of you,
like i am enraptured in quick sand
soaking novembers stroll,
it's rays caress me,
deeply planted on to my chest
my veins turn to roots of lilac vines
so i let you plant a kiss on my lips
and wish me a better tomorrow
cause your smile begins
to melt from my thought
and your greenhouse effect
affects me not

half a cup of
a two toned muse
yeilds a quarter of
a sultry pair of cat eyes
& a tragic obsession
with princess serenity
stirred in with a dash of inconsistencies
and every teenage boys dream
under the heat of a mistress gaze
correcting grammar and errors
mixed in with your matching blacks,
& a quarter dozen
of féline decor
with shoes to complement
toss in a diamond ring
throughly wrapped around
your annulus finger &
indulge it with
strange behavior then
top it off with a silky whip
to accommodate
the quenching fluid of
a ******* *****

i'm trapped in your virtual reality
reciting poems of love
& dancing to strange tunes
of swinging simple beats
played on the 1989 jukebox
while stars snow down in the bleak
& the tide washes in on where we could be
i marvel up at the sky
because there is little better to do
than enjoy the presence of your company
crooning like a shadow in the bonfire
i catch you in my sleep,
but nothing can bring me back to you
now that you're gone

you were suppose to be a stranger,
just a half second interferer
mindless and dry
with each blinking moment
that passed me by
i was unknowingly losing a useful hand
deemed worthy of something other
than the thought that
you were suppose to stay just a stranger
and if i could turn you back, i swear i would
but it feels like i've always wanted you
from the unspoken second
i felt our destiny
when our eyes crossed path
in the midst of fall, telling you to
please slip away and take my unreasoning desire, i'm not use to never having what i want

you were just another mistake
and never will anybody say
you are everything that i am
when the truth is,
you were just a wandering passerby
thinking that
my love for you was so vast
was just another illusion, and we both know
leaving you
was all i've ever thought about.
from the way you walk to the way you talk
drove me on edge,
forgetting about you
was nevertheless effortless,
and changing yourself for the better
was something you never did,
giving up
was how you unraveled your problems,
because loving me
was just another lie,
but we knew that
people thought we were just a bare jest,
maybe they were right

**(read from bottom to top)

the sound of her kisses
when she shook me awake
gave me sense and reason
to find life in the
littlest of things

i breathed her in
and watched her drift
as she held one thin thought
through her smiling lips

i am the cigarette
you forbear yourself from taking
every daybreaking morning
you make it distasteful and unpleasant
when you’ve had a little too much
too deep of a drag
you **** me slowly
corrupting my lungs
disfiguring my heart
it's the sun i gaze at
the start of every day
swearing i'll never taste your
skoal lips again
but i breathe in your dissolution
becoming its demise
you’ll make better mistakes tomorrow
this much i know is true
though i take you in, again today
now it's clear to me
i'll always be your ashtray

half a cup of
perfectly sculpted hair
yeilds a quarter
of a suburban style
& a tragic obsession
with the american flag
stirred in with a dash of
unquestionably good shoes-
a hint of stripes
adorned with a
a scruffy flannel armor-
blended of color palettes
mixed in with
your matching blacks,
& a quarter dozen
ankle boots with
banded legwarmers to match.
toss in a pair of leggings
a couple of two cent beanies
and plaid button downs
thoroughly wrapped around
your nether bottom &
a fanciful coffee
in hand prettified
with a binding bracelet
telling me
to creatively and
elusively
*******

the pain that i feel
is no where near
to the love that you give
the soft touch of your fingers
running over my body
is like rubbing silk on satin
the feel of your hair
makes mine stand on end
and the touch of your lips
makes my heart stop within
one more second is all i ask
if i could turn back time
i'd do it again
every moment, every tick
of the never ending clock
cause every time that hand moved
i was falling in love with you

i think im inlove with you
as in that fluttering
high strung
feeling in your heart
that for now,
seems like
unattainable love
sinking into my chest.
a love that consists of
an occassional loss of words
i find myself speechless
over and over again
but i'm just waiting,
waiting for the perfect time
that i know will never come
i find myself resisting the urge
to just simply ask,
then i've lost,
i can’t fight it
i don’t think i even want to

that familiar look in your eyes
that wakens my passion
in watching your pupils grow-
dilating into
the shape of my world

in your eyes i hide
in your shadow i find comfort
untouched by a warmth
that blends with your soul

i am weakend
by those big brown eyes
the ones that
could show me
all there is to feel &
i don't ever want to live
to see them shed a tear

i wonder if
it's something about
the way you smile,
or the way you merge into
all the right places.
it's the way you make me feel
when we talk,
i don't even know what i say
i just don't care
cause you're never really listening.
or maybe its that peculiar thing
you do when you wanna laugh
at the most inconvenient times
or that face you make
when you're truly confused
that unnecessary thing
you do with your life,
when you throw it all away
for someone who doesn't
even love you
half as much as i do.
that really, really hurtful thing
you do with your words,
but you look so cute
when you're breaking my heart

In love with your pillow shaped lips
and perfectly symmetrical face
so succulent and fragile;
you stain my mouth
with immorality and sin
i'm defenseless to the unseemingly
spiteful and self absorbing
you call good old fun
but i don't fancy divination

i wake up every morning
wishing i were made
of coffee grounds
just so that you could
cling to my existence
and i'll never be
as warm as the sun
on those long evenings we spent
but i hope you let me help you grow