people seem to think that when someone's anorexic,
they'll know, because the person will never eat
i find this funny because
my best friend never ate a single day at lunch
and when they accused her of being anorexic
all i could think of -- as i was eating my lunch
-- was how dizzy i got
from just walking up the stairs.

I've got no space for pain from you.
There is no hole inside of me.
No emptiness. No loneliness.
I've only got space for love
Do you hear me?
You can't take my power from me.
And I won't take yours.
I refuse to feel that way.
Its been long enough...
To be healed.

Dear J----,

How many suns died,
out in the black margins
& burning headrooms
since we last shared
any words of importance?
I look out tonight from the roof
towards the endless upper branch
& swear a few have blinked away.

You strolled in so casually
from my dream, as if from the wood
or park, and common strokes
moved in the air between us.
Your words fork across
all your grassy miles,
as you tell me about the fox-scream;
I can almost see the starlings
hash across miniature cubes of lawn.

I live in silver -
the cars that flicker right to left,
the metro's metallic hide,
the strange inflorescent cloud
that garottes the coinish moon.
I'll lend it you on afternoons
when the rain deposits itself
in quiet blue discs across the city.

Go now, and know
that I am always grateful
for another friend, especially
when they understand
how hard a heart heaves
across all the bent years.

Yours,
Evan

I still dream about you,
you know.

Not every night like I used to
but still often enough to wake up
wondering why you aren't around.

And you're always on my mind.
Always.

I can't keep doing this.
Even though I hurt you, you're
the one who's hurting me
so inadvertently.
And every silence is like
a blow to the face,
because I know you see me.

You're such a good bad guy.

Two beds chairs
plastic floor sterile
clinic place this is
me too
in anxiety and sad
and playing
table football

Please message me back
I'll respect whatever you do
But I'm not ready for this to be over

Probably should've thought of that earlier