Nihilism in cancerous
Mutating uncontrollably
Growing silently

But, with or without cancer
People die anyway
Whether quickly by a bullet
Or slowly by a disease
Or simply, heart choosing to rest.

Death is inevitable
Whether it chose to come suddenly
Or it's been waited patiently.
It will come.

Without caring when and how.
Whether when we're alone,
Or when love was already gone
Or leaving love alone.
It will ends.

Everything will leave,
Everything will gone,
Everything will end.

**** those who care.
**** those who care enough to care.
**** those who care enough to bear.

Abandon all hope.
Abandon all hope to hope.
Abandon all. Stop.

'1. Acquire your target, scout them for a while before you make your move.
2. Make your move, approach them blatantly and get to know them.
3. Talk to them every day, every night, or even every single time. You need to put your effort in this step.
4. Ask them about their day, about their work, about every ******* single thing that come up to your mind.
5. Open up to them. So that they can open up to you.
6. Open up more, about every childhood trauma, family-related stuff, about past relationships. Open up about your past.
7. Open up more, about your plans and what ifs, about promises, about your future that you might share with them.
8. Open up more, about yourself, about how you love to hug them, how you love to spend time with them, how you.... Need them.
9. Open up more, about your true feeling towards them, about how you love their smell, their voice, their glares. About how you love them.
10. Open up more. Until you have nothing to open up.
11. Don't open up, hide something from them, lie to them if necessary. Do your best to keep those lie believable. Deny those lie when they find out. Say no to every single question they ask.
12. Open up again, about the truth. About how you felt sorry for lying to them (if it's true).
13. Open up again, about how you don't want them to go.
14. Open up again, show your vulnerability by crying out loud to make them stay.
15. Open up again, open the door so that they can leave, with their heart broken.
And probably yours too.

The smile i remembered
The scent that used to linger
The warmth that used to warm me up

All those, are the things i missed

The soft laugh to my terrible jokes
The deep talk before sleep
The messy hair in the morning

All those, are the things i missed

The unconditional love you used to gave
The gaze that says "you might be the one"
The calmness due to the idea that we'd meet again soon.

All those, are things that missing.

There's a part of me that want to say,
"I miss you so **** bad."
But i know, when we're apart
There's a part of my day that was missing.
I already missed a lot of things throughout my life
So, i get used to these types of feeling.
Thus, a part of me knew that we're already apart
A part of me knew that we're no longer "us"
Although, we agreed on something
That there's a part of sparks we have to extinguish
A part of feelings we have to suppress
And yet we knew, it's not that easy
Well, i don't know, at least for me
A part of me think that you've done it well.
A part of me know that i don't.
A part of me know that even if we starts
It will end anyhow.
Even if i no longer think everything matters,
A part of me think there's a part of you that matters
A part of me wish we're not apart.

Let's go back to nihilism, shall we?
Where everything doesn't matter and will never matter.
Not even your presence
Your absence
Your excellence
Not even my ignorance
My obsolescence
My essence

Let's go back to existentialism, shall we?
Where everything doesn't have meaning and will never have.
Not even your eyes
Your smiles
Your scars
Not even my part
My hurt
My heart

You simply exist
I simply here
It's not destined
It's not meant
We simply bumps into eachother in this chaotic world
Like particles in a vessel, the world is heating up.
They collided more often.

And that
Doesn't mean a thing.

So,
Thank you,
For existing.

It's not just a repetition
It's an iteration.
Trying to interpolate to know precisely what's been done
And extrapolate to forecast things that are about to be done.

Assumption kills,
Cutting of ideas just to clarify things.
Yet, the cutting feels needed
Even if it's based on assumption.
Even if they both know,
Assumption kills.

They talked so much,
About code of conducts,
About good communications
Without communicating it well.

They talked,
Line by line.
Stick to their own script,
Yet the writer *****.

Because they talked,
Line by line.
Stick to their own script,
But keep losing in translation.

Thus, interpolation is pointless
Extrapolation is worthless.
Agreement is unachievable.
And communicating is impossible.

Why does world
appear in greyscale?
Grey sunflower
Slightly brighter grey emitted
from a rusty old neon sign
That no longer know how to shine

Why does world
appear in greyscale?
Grey clouds with or without rain
Slightly darker bow in the sky
after a slight drizzle of waters
That gradually shades

Why does world
appear in greyscale?
Grey trees in a park
Monochromatic birds
i'd never recognize
That occasionally chirps

Why does world
appear in greyscale?
And why does your existence
has colours?
Pink that i always think
Green that makes me grin
Yellow that dissipates sorrow

Why does world
appear in greyscale?
And why does your existence
bring colours?
Blue that i never knew
Blue that i feel without you

I've been numb enough for long enough
To realise that i'm trapped in a void.

Like a comatose, my body functions
Yet, i can't speak
Mouth mumbling trying to make a sound
I can't see
Eyes wide shut
I can't feel
Heart beats just because

Like a comatose, i can't escape
So many way out, yet my body resist.
Options exist, yet nothing matters.
Not even matter matters
Not even your matters matter.
It doesn't matter.
It never matter.

Can people change? That's one of the hardest question I've stumbled upon.
I've seen so many people change throughout my life.
My parents, my family, my friends.
Everybody's changing.
But when i look into a mirror, i don't just see glass that reflects light.
I see such an unchanged math problem that we might known as constant.
I see, myself.

Being constant is not the same as being consistent.
It's not a wordplay that everyone could mix it up.
Those two not even homophones.
Being consistent is sometime a thing that we could be proud of.
And yet being constant is
an illness that I haven't find the cure of.

I'm not saying that it's uncurable.
What I'm saying is
I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of being an unchanged variable that doesn't know how to change.
I'm sick of being a constant that is easily scratch out in a derivative.
Who are scared of the slightest change that eliminates.
I'm sick of being a constant that is negligible during a definite integration.
Who are disposable when the such circumstances are known.

All I'm saying is,
I'm sick of being a constant.
And for now,
I want things to change.

Hey, do you remember me?
The one who loves you with all his heart.

In this particular moment, I don't have the ability to see through time.
So I don't know what us look like in your time.

If something good happens, then I'd still be by your side. Hug you tight and kiss your face. And everything will be all alright.

But if the future isn't as good as i thought it will, i want you to know some things. Or if i have ever tell you those things, i want you to remember.

Right now, at the moment i wrote this, you are the most beautiful woman i see. Your outer and inner beauty radiates so that i can feel it all the time.
I am so in love with you.
I can't never stand the idea of you leaving.
Nor the idea of leaving you.

I feel loved by your existence.
I feel loved by every words you gave,
By the gentle movement of your hand brushing up my hair.
By every single second you hold my hand.
Every hugs, every kiss, every love words, every gaze. Everything.

Right now, i don't care about what might happen.
I don't care about what future might bring.
I love you.
At this moment, I love you and i'm in love with you.
In the next 5 seconds, I still love you and i'm still in love with you.
In the next 5 minutes, I still love you and i'm still in love with you.
In the next 5 hours, I still love you and i'm still in love with you.
In the next 5 days, I still love you and i'm still in love with you.
In the next 5 weeks, I still love you and i'm still in love with you.
In the next 5 month, I might still love you and maybe i'm still in love with you.
In the next 5 years, god i hope i still love you and still in love with you.
In the next 5 decades, please, i really wish i'd still be in love with you.
Because loving you, is the best thing i ever had in my life. And i hope it will last throughout my life.

If things went well between us, then i'd still be loving you the way i love you now. Or maybe even more.
But if things didn't end well, then i probably still be loving you this way. I'd be out there and probably waiting. Because i know/wish, we'll end up together.
Or else, I'll be in a deep misery.

One of my friends said,
If you ignite the sparks too early
It'll end up poorly

Though we knew that timing is the key
Though we knew that it was never too late
Yet it was also always too early

How can we live in such contradictory?

Maybe it was never meant to starts
Since we know that it'll be over
As soon as it began

So how can we know?
About the timing that we never got right?
About when, where, what, who, why, and how?

So how can we know?
If none of those questions
Ever answered

Hope is not an assumption
Hope is not derived from a deduction
Hope is never an expectation
Hope is always a superstition.

Just another day, another night
Without your present presence
I don't know if I might
But I crave for pleasance

Just another minute, another second
Another sleepless in Seattle
Watching the sky leaden
On the very top of Babel

Just another time, another moment
Without understanding one another
Talk but lost in translation
Sorry for being such a bother

I wish time stops at 2 a.m.
I wish earth doesn't have to rotate
and give new hope to those who's in grievance.

I wish time stops at 2 a.m.
I wish sun doesn't have to rise
and shine the new faces i barely recognize.

I wish time stops at 2 a.m.
I wish day doesn't have to change
and stuck in the same moment when we're together

I wish i didn't realize
That "morning"
is just mourning without u

I'm glad that you're happy
That's the least emotion i can feel
Seeing you smile so brightly
That's the most emotion you deserve to feel

I know you're sick of my apologies
But i still wanna say i'm sorry
For the past we left behind
For the future i tore

But i'm glad that you're happy
Surrounded by people who loves you
Surrounded by love which loves you
Surrounded by happines which you truly deserve

I'm glad that you're happy
I'm glad that i'm in misery
Because you deserve that
And i deserve that.

I fall in love,
With your smile every time you see me.
With your hand brushing my hair, softly.
With your laugh of joy.
With you.

I feel safe,
When you're next to me.
When you tell me that everything's alright. Even though, sometimes i'm worried about something.
When i'm with you,
I no longer worry about things that might upset me.
When i'm with you,
I feel accepted.

I unconditionally love you.
I constantly fall in love with you.

Whenever you're around, i feel loved
Whenever i look at you, i feel lucky.
Whenever i talk to you, i fell deeper into your love.
I don't know how deep it would be, but i'll dive into it.
Because, the deeper i dive the more i learn the fact that......
I'm home.
I finally home.

Alright kids, let me tell you a bed time story.
This is a story about love.
About falling in love in first sight.
About how true it is.

Chapter 1.
The love of my brief life.

There was a girl. Her name reminds me of flower.
Every morning she blooms and radiate a good scent that boost my serotonin up.
Some part of me said, "i need to pick that flower"
And so i did.

Days after days, that flower become prettier.
I fell in love.

The more i know about her, the more i fall in love.
Her scent might be temporary, but the rotten things she keeps, they intrigued me.
So i studied about her.
The flower that blooms.
I studied her until it eventually wilted.

Chapter 2.
The rebound that last longer than i think it will.

This one is about a girl that her name sounds like sun.
She rises, give lights to dark edges of earth that might not want to get up.
She shines, give lives for those who needed her while exposing all the sad faces out.
She is warm.

But not for a long time.
Until clouds take her lights away from me.

She fell in love with the cloud.
While I, dropped in tears.
Crying about the dead flower.

Chapter 3.
The hope.

This one, is about goddess.
Giving me shade to hide from the sun and clouds.
Giving me something to lean on when i'm down.
Giving me hope.
That she can grow as many flowers i want.
Or as many suns i needed.

Just like actual goddess,
She give me strength.

Chapter 4.
The truth.

Kids, this one is about me.
This is about me ******* everythings up.
I might/might not ******* this one.
But let me tell you the truth, kids.

This is not a story about how i met your mother,
This is a story how every one of them is almost become your mother.
This is a story how i shouldn't end up alone while in fact i might.
This is a story about you guys, might not be exist.
This is a story about me, crying in my own funeral while burying myself and giving myself an eulogy.
This is a story about how i almost complete.
And yet, i might/might not ***** up right before the finish line.

So kids, if you ever exist, let me tell you something.
All of that stories are true loves.
But, you can't fake a true love, no matter how true it is.
You can't trust anyone just like you can't trust your heart.
In fact, you can't trust me either,
I'm the one who speaking with the non-existent.
Maybe i'm rumbling
Or God knows,
Maybe i'm talking to the future.

Sitting here alone by myself
Surrounded by shadows from the past
And ones that almost become the future

Yet, present is such a harsh word
The only N-word i hate is "now"
Even my pen hates writing it
My keyboard refuses to type it

Because now, we're stuck in the "now"
Now nowhere to go or to be gone
Nowhen? Is that even a word?
I don't know
It's equivalent with the direction i'm going
Forward/backward in space-time because right now, nothing is right right now.
Nothing is right but i'm no lefty
I can't write. About anything.

About you
About me
About shadows that sit next to me
About us used to
About us that almost might to

If I were you,
I don't want to be with me
Not even a shadow to company

If I were you,
I wouldn't be here
Even if it's imaginary.

Am I immortal or what?
I was once got hit by a motorcycle, witnessed by my friends.
Slammed almost 6 feet vertically in the air, about 15 feet horizontally.
All my friends were too stunned to speak.

I got up right away, helped the one who crashed into me.
Only a few scars that got healed too quickly.

Am I immortal or what?
I was once took too many pills, accompanied by my friends.
Chugged too many alcohol, inhaled too much tars in my lung.
All my friends were too surprised that i'm still alive.

I got sober right away, provided them to cure their hangovers.
Only a few discomfort that gone away too quickly.

All those physical pain, i can endure.
All those real wound, i can heal.

Yet, some imaginary scars might almost killed me.
Repeatedly like some kind of a hobby.
All those attempts i made to **** me
Were only ends up in the lobby.

So, am I immortal or what?
If it's physical pain, i can live with that.
I can still be alive.
If it's emotional pain, please, just make me unalive.

I probably
Dead inside already

So, am I immortal or what?
If i'm cursed with such powers,
Don't make me walk down this road by myself.
Don't make me make some new wounds just to feel things.
Don't make me push anyone away just so they don't get hurt.

Don't make me their punishment they'd think they deserve
Don't make me their burden they never deserve.

They've been blessed
Whom with innocence
For tho they're damaged
Bless them with ignorance

Each piece of one's mind
Slightly scattered none atoned
Enhanced with weak spine
Sanity postponed

Half they split
With each others contradict
Talks in silence
The other merely presence

They speaks out loud
With their beaks but no spout
Tho they were alone
They will never be gone

-
I thought i was done
Having a pillow talk
With my own thoughts

This conversation is end-to-end encrypted
But why does it only have one end?
I thought i was done

I thought
I finally be able to get some sleep
I thought i no longer needed to be sedated
Although, the sedation needs me to be inhaled.

I thought i can end this episode
Beautifully written as a good romance
I thought it was done.
I thought i was done!

I thought
I thought
I thought
I already had too much to thought

By the curse of isolation condemned to me
I now pronounce you, "free"

I know it's not your decision. But, thank you for coming into my dream last night. It was just enough.
I don't know if that's what i needed. To fill up this endless void. But i think it was decent. It was just enough.
I love you. But that's okay if only the image of you that loves me. At least a part of me thought. It was just enough.
I've defeated. By the slow long march of time. By the impatiency of the longing. It was just enough.
I've met you. In this hideous timing that doesn't even give a clue. It was just enough.

I know it was never your decision. But, thank you for visiting my dream last night. It was just enough.

I don't know if i'd still be exist. Next time, maybe there'll be no next time. I don't know if it'll be a lost of opportunity or it is simply simplicity.

The truth is, i'm as clueless as dementia. It feels like i'm so close to forgetting who i am. I don't know you, yet i know you better than i know myself right now.

Insomnia was my late night snack i often enjoy. Now it feels empty. Like a broken bucket that can't be filled, it will always be empty. I don't know if you took something as you leave, i feel like i'm losing something. No, i don't think it's my sanity. Or maybe it is, because in my broken head live the idea of you never leave. Although in my broken heart, i know you were never here anyway. They conflict. They contradict. They sick.

Now, everything that happened are simply. I don't want to overthink things, yet i'm thinking about it overly. The fact that you said "maybe". I know it was just maybe.
For me, "maybe" means that there are possibility.
Or maybe, "maybe" means just maybe. I don't know if you're talking literally or hypothetically.
In my broken head, there's hope. In my broken heart, there's a shout to stop.
I don't know. I'm as clueless as dementia.

The truth is, i'm not just wishing you were here. I wish you wish i was there. Because maybe, if you wished that, i'll make it true. Truer than you. But maybe, just maybe, hypothetically, beside you is where i'll be. If your wish really is the same as me.
But i know, maybe is just maybe. Or maybe it's probably?
I don't know. I'm as clueless as dementia.

How funny it is to remember
How a tree lives its life to the fullest
Ended up as a log for me to sit

All of its memories vanish as it is
Like nothing ever happened
Nor ever exist.

The lake of memories
Got its name from its lack of memories
Just a massive crater for water to fill.

The memory-less water
That shaped accordingly to its vessel
Its memory lost as soon as it's transferred.

I wish they have that memory
I wish they realise that their memory lost
That their memories
Did matter.

I wish i didn't have the memory
To remember that memory
will gone eventually
Whether fading out slowly
Or lost instantaneously.

I wish i didn't have that memory
I wish i didn't realise that my memory lost
That my memory
Didn't matter.

I dreamt about you last night
Well, not about you technically.
It's about my life
Without you in it.
My life
With zero sign of your existence

It felt real,
Every inch square of your skin
                                I didn't touch
Each expression in your face
                                 I didn't see
Every moment in time that
       I didn't spend with you
Each memory
We never made

I had a dream last night
A glimpse of life without you in it
                         And
As i woke up
I realized,
It was just called yesterday
And today, i have to experience it
Again
And again
                        Everyday

Regret? Why should i?
There's nothing to regret. Everything happens for a reason.

In physics every particle in motion follows a single principle.
That principle states that a trajectory of a motion only happens in the minimum action possible.
That explains why apple falls in a straight lines, while lightning bolt moves in a zig-zag. Some might said it was meant to be. I said, it's the least action principle.

We are particles in motions. Our conscience appears because of that principle.
Brain communicates using an electric charge carried by a particle called electron. And guess what? Electrons are particles.

We are just bunch of moving particles. Following a principle called the least action principle.
We are particles in motions. We always move with the minimum action possible.
Whether we liked it
or not.

So, indeed it is. Everything is indeed happen for a reason. To spend the minimum action.
That's why we're in love. Because at that moment that's the least action possible.
That's why we're left alone. Because that's the least action possible.
That's why we fall. Because that's the least action possible.
That's why we're trying to get back up. Because that's the least action possible.
That's why we gave up. Because that's the least action possible.
That's why,
we are the way we are.

So why should we regret? We spend the least action possible.
Unless, the least action possible is by regretting.
Unless, the least action possible is to stop moving.

I don't hate my life.
I don't hate it to the point of
I don't like it either
Life has no meaning whatsoever.

I don't see an exit.
I don't want to leave this road.
I don't want to stay either.
The journey, won't matter.

Endless succession of romance
Unbearable pain of being hurt
Inevitable arrival of death
All those are simply.

An unexpected timing
An unbounded urge of having
An unlikely feel of loving
All those, really meant nothing

Life
has no meaning whatsoever.

I wish i could express how i feel right now
The way a poet does.

I wish i could tell that i'm happy
That you still reply my messages
(Un)willingly. Whichever suits you the most.

I wish i could say that i'm sad
That you have a thought about turning back
About stopping the interaction
Because you thought it won't lead you anywhere.

I wish i could disagree with your thought.
But i can't see the future.
Nor i can't guarantee it yet.

I wish i'm good at words
So that i could tell
That your heart is safe as a safe

I wish i could express all those feelings
All at once since that's how i experience it right now
All of them mixed up like a dough
Getting things complicated though.

I wish i could state
That i want you to be here
Right now
Right here

I wish i could express how i feel right now
The way a poet does.

But i'm no poets
I'm not good with words
Let alone action.

Right now,
I just wish
I don't have to see you
In goodbye.

What's the meaning of deep inhale?
If the tar clings to lung while smoke exhaled
Cancerous
Yet brutally devoured like carnivorous
Venomous
Yet corroding slowly like oxidous

What's the meaning of a sip?
If the alcohol kicks in a dip
True
About being blue
Flew
Up into the sew

What's the meaning of a romance?
If memory leaves as the pain stays
Sorrow
Gone as a throw
Grow
Indisputably slow

What's the meaning of life?
If everything seen is a lie
Null
As it dull

Not a single vowel,
and yet you got the idea.

Let's talk
In homophones

I eye
Lights lies
Here hear
Excepting accepting
Prey's praise
Met med
Loves loafs
Live leave

I realized something
I rarely write for you
Nor about you.
I don't know why.

I feel like i should write something about you
I know there are no necessity in that.
I still feel like i should
So that you feel more special
So that you feel more loved

But for some reason,
I almost can't.
Maybe due to the fact that,
I only write about losses,
Or loneliness
Or sadness
Or everything that's dark-toned.
I don't know why,
It's always been like that for ages.

I remember once you said to me
That you always like my writings
But you hoped for once
That i write something about happiness
Or cheerful wishes
Or hopeful futures
Or anything with brighter-tones
But i can't
I don't know why,
It's always been like that for ages.

I guess, that's why i rarely write for you
Nor about you.
Because whenever i'm with you
I feel happy
I feel loved
I feel complete
I feel all kinds of positive feelings
That quite strange for me.

And those peculiarities that i feel,
Prevent me to write something for you,
And/or about you.

Because for once,
I feel accepted.
And i guess,
There are no necessity to write that down.

I was once complete.
All axioms fulfilled.
All operators well-defined.
All systems consistent.

Although,
Subtracting a set by itself,
Creates
A null set.

I was once complete.
All axioms fulfilled.
All operators well-defined.
All systems consistent.

Although,
Adding a null set
To another set
Changes nothing.

I was once complete.
All axioms fulfilled.
All operators well-defined.
All systems consistent.

Although,
The completeness
Is not from myself.
It's not premade.

We were once complete.
All axioms fulfilled.
All operators well-defined.
All systems consistent.

Although,
The completeness
Has gone.
Thus, i am a null set.

I don't know what to say
Because
I don't know if i'm able to
Because
I don't know what to feel
Because
I don't know if i'm able to
Because
I don't know what to know
Because
I don't know if i'm able to
Because
I don't know
Because
I really don't know.

Hi, i'm 73.
Which means literally nothing in this country.

There are a few things i'd like to say:
I'm glad i bumped into you 82
I'm grateful befriend with 24, 51, and 90.
I feel enough with our quick interaction, 68.
Thank you for being my pair-up, 74.

In the world filled with finitely many numbers
I know that there are infinitely many numbers i haven't paired up.
Yet the space is a cartesian plane.
Where every real number would pair up at some point.
Thus, there will be infinitely many interactions.
Despite of the finitely many iterations.

I hope we interact at some moment in time
I hope we pair up at some point in space
Because the world, is just a cartesian place.
And we're all just a number in 1's eyes.

Thank you, for all the numbers i've been paired with.
Sorry, for all the number i haven't mentioned.
Although you are all finite.
My gratitude towards you all are infinite.

When you are on the edge of a cliff, you can only see the scenery. It is beautiful. It is the best.

When you are on the edge of a cliff, you'll get scared of height. Or get scared of things that used to won't bother you at all.

When you are on the edge of a cliff, maybe it will be the first time you think about moving backward. Because there is no other choice.

But when you finally take the leap, you won't recognize any of those. Not even your face that might screaming out loud.

But you will see things you wouldn't expect. Like your life flashing in front of your eyes. Or your happiness that used to conquer you.

Until some moment you'll realize that it was too late. It will absolutely fine if you took a step back, or maybe a couple of steps more.

You'll realize that the scenery is not as good as your life that flash.

You'll realize that the clock is ticking so fast you felt it slowing down.

You'll realize, that your life might be better if you didn't jump.
You'll realize, that the leap not only will take the sadness away.
But also the joy that come along

Every sip of cheap wine you bought every now and then.
Every deep inhale of your favourite cigar.
Every tipsy 2 a.m. conversation.
All gone.

The clock is ticking too fast before you realize,
That it is too late.

Until you find out,
That the scenery is not as good as before you take that leap.

That pattern
Occurs periodically.
Despite all the vern
I still hurt myself regularly.

Those ricocheting projectiles
Travel uncontrollably.
Hitting them who smiles
Wounding them miserably.

This is not a sanctuary
Not a place to survive.
This is a void, where no one can hear me.
Screaming, "Help! I'm eating myself alive."

Most people are,
Everyday we've seen news about physical abuse, ****, ******, etc.
The only thing we can conclude is "People are Jerks"
Yes, they are the worst.
No wonder the devil refuse to bow down to Adam and Eve.
People are basically toxins we never found the cure for.
People are disease, spreading all around the world like PB & J on a toast.
People are the worst.

They **** up a lot of things,
Environment, society, family, even another people.
They always find a way to ***** up everything.
And they always have a reason to say they're not.

People are jerks,
Most people are,
But,
Unlike you,
Unlike me,
Unlike us.

People who have demons in their head.
We are different.
Unlike Adam and Eve, those demons are actually bow down to us.
Those demons live in our head because they respect us so much they let us control them.

People are jerks that's why they have each other to **** up each other's mind.
Us? We're not jerks.
We have our demons trying to mess with our head.
And we have our demons for us to ****.

We are beneath those people.
We are actually better.
Unlike people,
They all jerks.

One of my past wrote a poem for me, titled
"To the one he would end up with"
In it, there's a line that i really live by
"Please be the kind of home he deserve"
She was.

One of my past wrote a poem for me, titled
"Restart"
In it, there's a line that really hits me
"But life must go on, i have to let you go"
She did.

One of my past got a poem from me, titled
"Things i wish i remember"
In it, there's a line that i often forgot
"I wish i remember that love will leave"
I don't.

One of the day i wrote a poem for myself, titled
"Poem"
In it, there's a line that really makes me think
"Please be the kind of home he deserve"
It's void.

Throughout my life, i've bumped into
Too many commas
Yet, we never need a comma
In a love sentence.

Let alone a question mark
"I love you?"
Yeah that doesn't sound right
Not even quotation marks should be there
In a love sentence.

For now, i left out the apostrophe
Since i do not want to abbreviate
Every moment we spent
Abbreviation is not needed
In a love sentence.

How about an exclamation mark?
I love you so much
But an exclamation mark
Seems a little too much
We don't need that either
In a love sentence.

You.
Are the dot in every love sentence.
I would still have it without you
It was just
Incomplete
It was just
Unfinished

Hence,
I love you.
That would be it.

Oh no no no,
Don't get me wrong
I don't love you,
and never will.

If that's what it takes to be with you
Then, I will never love you
in every way that you would probably love.
in every way possible.

Oh no no no,
I can look you dead in the eye and say that
I don't love you
and never will.

If that's what it takes to look you in the eye
Then, I will never love you
in days and nights
in loneliness or in presence

Oh no no no,
There are no single statement that's true
That I don't love you,
and never will.

If that's what it takes to love you,
If loving you means stop loving you,
If loving you means not loving you they way it supposed to
Then, i don't love you
and never will

Need
Is a strong 4-letter word.
So is love.
Like homophones, those two easily mixed up.
Sometimes those two rhymes.

Left to right got you.

I love the imagery
Of you sitting next to me
Close to me
Being with me

For now, I love that imagery
Unfortunately
That's all imaginary

Forever is never mine
nor yours
Not even ours

For long is much more probable
Although ends are inevitable
Yet the chase is impeccable

So, shall we try?