I don't know since when you chose to leave.
What i already know is that you never accept me anyway.
But there was time when you make me feel my presence.
Not just that, but also my existence.
That one beautiful moment for me who keep coming back to you.
Or maybe i never really come into your life.
But it's okay, life is full of confusion anyway.

There are so many words i'd like to say.
But i know you'll laugh at it all the way.
Because maybe you think i'm a joker and you're one of my masterpiece.
I don't know why god made it this way.
Like a beautiful rose that filled with thorns.

It's the third time for me to let you go.
But saying "goodbye" for me is just another "hello".
Like we usually do.
Like we did it now.

All the sparks and heat that i'm excited about,
All those adrenalins that rush,
All those fires i ignite,

For the sake of pleasure,
For mere instantaneous joy,
For a relief i never thought i seek.

I never meant to hurt anyone,
I never meant to burn anything precious,
I never want to

Yet, all those ignitions,
Are long overdue.
For once, i burned my home down.

Can people change? That's one of the hardest question I've stumbled upon.
I've seen so many people change throughout my life.
My parents, my family, my friends.
Everybody's changing.
But when i look into a mirror, i don't just see glass that reflects light.
I see such an unchanged math problem that we might known as constant.
I see, myself.

Being constant is not the same as being consistent.
It's not a wordplay that everyone could mix it up.
Those two not even homophones.
Being consistent is sometime a thing that we could be proud of.
And yet being constant is
an illness that I haven't find the cure of.

I'm not saying that it's uncurable.
What I'm saying is
I'm sick of it.
I'm sick of being an unchanged variable that doesn't know how to change.
I'm sick of being a constant that is easily scratch out in a derivative.
Who are scared of the slightest change that eliminates.
I'm sick of being a constant that is negligible during a definite integration.
Who are disposable when the such circumstances are known.

All I'm saying is,
I'm sick of being a constant.
And for now,
I want things to change.

Act I - Prologue

When things didn't end well
They often make my eyes swell
For all the time i borrow
It mostly ended in sorrow

Act II - Different

I think it's gonna be different
How on earth that I'm one of the constant
Things should change
Else I'm the one who's derange

Act III - Constant

I was wrong
Like that one song
That's already recorded
It's unchanged

Act IV - Epilogue

I was never good at farewell
So, do tell
Come closer and speak
About the kind of ending you seek

Alright kids, let me tell you a bed time story.
This is a story about love.
About falling in love in first sight.
About how true it is.

Chapter 1.
The love of my brief life.

There was a girl. Her name reminds me of flower.
Every morning she blooms and radiate a good scent that boost my serotonin up.
Some part of me said, "i need to pick that flower"
And so i did.

Days after days, that flower become prettier.
I fell in love.

The more i know about her, the more i fall in love.
Her scent might be temporary, but the rotten things she keeps, they intrigued me.
So i studied about her.
The flower that blooms.
I studied her until it eventually wilted.

Chapter 2.
The rebound that last longer than i think it will.

This one is about a girl that her name sounds like sun.
She rises, give lights to dark edges of earth that might not want to get up.
She shines, give lives for those who needed her while exposing all the sad faces out.
She is warm.

But not for a long time.
Until clouds take her lights away from me.

She fell in love with the cloud.
While I, dropped in tears.
Crying about the dead flower.

Chapter 3.
The hope.

This one, is about goddess.
Giving me shade to hide from the sun and clouds.
Giving me something to lean on when i'm down.
Giving me hope.
That she can grow as many flowers i want.
Or as many suns i needed.

Just like actual goddess,
She give me strength.

Chapter 4.
The truth.

Kids, this one is about me.
This is about me ******* everythings up.
I might/might not ******* this one.
But let me tell you the truth, kids.

This is not a story about how i met your mother,
This is a story how every one of them is almost become your mother.
This is a story how i shouldn't end up alone while in fact i might.
This is a story about you guys, might not be exist.
This is a story about me, crying in my own funeral while burying myself and giving myself an eulogy.
This is a story about how i almost complete.
And yet, i might/might not ***** up right before the finish line.

So kids, if you ever exist, let me tell you something.
All of that stories are true loves.
But, you can't fake a true love, no matter how true it is.
You can't trust anyone just like you can't trust your heart.
In fact, you can't trust me either,
I'm the one who speaking with the non-existent.
Maybe i'm rumbling
Or God knows,
Maybe i'm talking to the future.