If only you could see what I see
then you'll finally stay with me
hold me in your arms so near
and wipe away all my fallen tears

Love me endless with no catches
completing me as one
all the secrets life hides
need to find my own inner light

I found a love
it's everlasting
little by little
wiping away all the damage

Different is who I am
and who I always will be
anger wells deep inside
the demon inside of me smiles

You can't break me
but you're breaking my heart into two
the ocean between us
tainted with darkness

Drinking me in
dragging me to my knees
causing deep inner pain
because I know you'll forever be me weakness

The sky meets the earth with a heavenly kiss
Sighing full of bliss
Purples, pinks, and blues intertwining


Creating a beautiful canvas
The sun rises from east only to set in the west
The world awakens to see its beauty

Clouds slowly drift by
Capturing and envisioning true serenity
Taking shape of various imaginations

The day gently strolls on
Painting a new canvas
Ravened hues now fill the sky

Bright jewels now dancing by
The day starts over again
Invoking the child in all of us

Making the day more beautiful
Birds flying by
Soaring into their freedom


As the day drifts by
The artist in the clouds resets the world
Getting ready for the next picture of life to form

I tried to hide behind my walls of seclusion,
behind beautiful words bound together.
Believing you wouldn't, couldn't see me.
I write the words not because I want to,
but because I have to.
It's my only link to freedom, to reality.
Walking the ghostly hallways of life.
going unnoticed in this big world.
A nobody is all I am,
drowning out all the noise around me.
Moving through days in a zombified stupor,
wanting to break free of the never ending cycle,
but loving the cycle nevertheless.

After the door shuts and the footsteps die
the truth comes out that I wish to hide
skeletons stack up and gather in my closet
pulling the truth out of a tight lipped pocket

Closing my eyes wishing it all away
wishing I could run instead of stay
I hide and hide my feelings from you
hoping you have the same feelings too

I open the door and there you are
my own personal shining star
you don't have to be anything to gain my love
your love is as pure as a dove

Stealing my heart with all you are
I wish this love to go very far
but you took my love
and gave it a huge shove

Tearing it to all kinds of shred
making me feel buried and dead
I take the pieces left and run
feels like you shattered my heart with a gun

Sitting in my own puddle of tears
reminiscing all of our greatest years
The damage is now over and done
trying now to make again myself one

Unicorns talking to me in my head
filling my world with dread
crunching and munching down on grass
this weird unicorn likes to steal my hash

Munch, munch, munch
he's stealing my lunch
he's like a thief
constantly causing me grief

Walking, talking driving me insane
constantly begging me to pet his mane
ignoring his pleas to me best
hopefully tonight I'll get some rest

Drifting into infinity
never to return again
a slave to life is all I am
unwinding paths leading to nowhere

A million lifetimes I've cried
I found out I can't change who I really am
I've opened me eyes only to close them tight and hide
I've cut strings to this world

Days keep getting me down
you try to get under my skin
wishing I could burn away all my emotions
and turn them all to ash

Never wanting to lose this battle that wages inside
wanting someone to come and rescue me from myself
tearing down my fortress of self imprisonment
only to build up a stronger force of solitude

Causing inner doubt and turmoil
craving the acceptance everyone should have
left alone to heal through the shattered pieces
I have to find myself againFinding my True Self

Drifting into infinity
never to return again
a slave to life is all I am
unwinding paths leading to nowhere

A million lifetimes I've cried
I found out I can't change who I really am
I've opened me eyes only to close them tight and hide
I've cut strings to this world

Days keep getting me down
you try to get under my skin
wishing I could burn away all my emotions
and turn them all to ash

Never wanting to lose this battle that wages inside
wanting someone to come and rescue me from myself
tearing down my fortress of self imprisonment
only to build up a stronger force of solitude

Causing inner doubt and turmoil
craving the acceptance everyone should have
left alone to heal through the shattered pieces
I have to find myself again

Lead me
lead me
into your open arms

Lead me
lead me
until my heart's not broken no more

Lead me home
weakness and all
beating is my heart
beating is my soul
emptiness consumes me
eating up my insides
eating away the truth

Lead me
lead me
away from here

Lead me
lead me
out of darkness and into light

Lead me into the oblivion sunsets
set my heart aflame
filled to the brink with trust
you got close to me and broke my walls down
the first in the task of many
don't want to hide anymore
I am to take the chance I can now

For my love, Brandyn.
I feel so happy and confused sometimes,
When I think of you each night and day,
And when I see you, I see fireworks,
I love you more than words can say...
You're so amazing! This love is endless!
I can't resist your personality, it's true!
The flowers and smile fade into shadows...
I am absolutely crazy for you!
Your soul is understanding; your heart is huge,
And my heart is truly in your hands.
I could run and jump 'til life was done,
But YOU are the focus of my plans.
This intense euphoria is amazing my love,
And for you, Brandyn, I thank Heaven above.
All my love, Haley x

Precious drop of Jupiter
fall gently from the sky
dripping off the ripe flesh of life
pooling and then drizzling down

Creating ripples throughout time
filling up a bottomless glass of life
turning oceans into thoughts
flowing to the rhythm of time

Gazing into the depths of infinity
morphing into jewels of the Galaxy
bursting with bright energy
gleaming eyes reflecting depths that cannot be reached

Pillars of dusts gathering to form an identity
sizzling dreams zapping into reality
creating comets of wonderment
squeezing out hard the pulp of life

Gazes seeking to find the truth
Truth in life, in humanity
seeking to swallow my conscience up whole
engulfing me into several different paradoxical lives

Creating something from nothing
making you think deeper than you ever have before
circling in on itself to ***** out the glow
wasting away that glass life of infinity

Sunken eyes both filled with hate
a stomach in which he couldn't satiate
No mortal man weak or strong
Could beat him in a heady brawl

A demon of horror, hatred, and fright
A creature never born to see the light
Looked down upon by our heavenly Father
A feat of a beast to which he wouldn't bother

Dripping from his mouth was blood so red
Blood which he took from his victims head
Sharp teeth embedded in jaws
And had bloodied sharpened claws

An impervious man of God and thunder
Came for justice for which he now hungered
Looked into the beasts black dead eyes
And heard him utter his last life cry.

Slowly you start to fade away,
Slowly and painfully day by day.
The agonizing truth of your life.
And how you were never the ultimate wife.

Your faltering fate of what is to come,
Is slowly, but surely coming undone.
Trying to impress,
But always coming out as second best.

Goodbye was the hardest for you and me,
I felt like I was drowning in an endless sea.
Consumed by the grief you left with me.
It tore me up bit by bit.

I saw you when you withered into dust,
and when you looked into my eyes with endearing trust.
But goodbye were the hardest for you and me,
But you'll be happier you just wait and see.

Waiting for all the cards to come tumbling down
burying me alive
I'm falling now
falling for your lies
and everything between
sour cries for freedom
I want to feel that deep connection
something stirring inside of me
only when you're near
always a fleeting emotion
you were the one to sweep me off my feet
the one I held so high
my light to my life
but it was all a lie
dwindling to dust
it was a strong lust
nothing more
nothing less
I gave you my very best
you struck me down
and you struck me hard
permanently engraved on my soul
is the heartache you put there
nowhere to go
but stay and fester
a growing rage
a growing mistrust
empty casings is now all I am
FOREVER. FOR NOW!

If it all ends
there's no turning back
no new starts
only broken hearts
and tight lipped locks
shattered hopes and empty trust
loving you turned out to be a bust

broken stars and shattered skies
all you said were fat ** lies
shouldn't have let my walls down
but it's too late now
I'll move
someday, somehow
I know it'll hurt to see you around

and I know my heart will fall to the ground
I'll pick it right up
and dust it back off
and move forward to forget that loss
I shed tears over you back then
to do so now would take me to way back when
I don't love you now like I did back then

so here's my farewell
and see you again
I loved you while it lasted
but its way past the end

Turning time

Things we forget to do and love
Urging us to speed through life
Racing to get to fortune and fame
Never taking the time to stop
Ignoring the clocks as they tick by
Never doing the things you love
Going and going and still you run

Time runs out and then you're gone
Ignoring your precious time is wrong
Memories start to fade and pass
Every part of your life has gone so fast.

So empty and lonely that's all I am,
I'll never feel enough for any man.
You use me for you own pleasure,
And make me feel like a useless newfound treasure,
Never noticing my displeasure.
Casting me off when you are done.
You're constantly using me for your own fun.
Will we ever be more than friends?
Or do our paths in consequently end?
I sit and sit by your side,
Only for me to hide.
My true feelings you'll never know,
Constantly as they grow for you.
The courage I have is so little and few.
So now my heart is cold as stone,
all the way to my bones.
I sit quietly and I stare,
Waiting for your grueling glare.

I sit in the rain
pondering the days away
as the drops coalesce down my body
little drops of gray skies above and below
pitter patter in beat with my heart
days these are when old days come alive
when I sit around and think back on life
I look at lost memories
they slowly fade away
they melt into the ground like rain
time is slowly running out
grain by grain
slipping through tiny cracks between my delicate fingers
trying to grasp each
slipping away like it never existed
weathering away at tiny pieces with the passing winds
taking away what wasn't it's to take
these hands of mine trying to make sand into glass
entering me from deep within
hitting my soul and shattering it
worn away by the trials of life
when old beats new
and the days descend
that's when living my life will begin
rain shadows over my life
singing out a sad song
for my individual gloomy days
building up puddles of memories
taking away my sadness
and taking away the nonexistent ray
bearing the truths through my eyes
and slipping it through my soul

You Furtive grace entices me
Pulling me into your emerald eyes
Jumping from place to place
Enticing deep serenity
Your lithe body allowing you to do things no other could
Purring at my slightest touch
You're a species of grace and ferocity
Of spontaneity and serenity
Your movements toward me mellifluous
Gazing into my soul
You capture my heart
A myriad of emotions flow off you
But you're just an effervescent cat
An old friend of mine
A God/Goddess in Egypt
Worshiped and loved
Your curiosity sometimes getting the best of you
But forever you'll take a place in my heart
Gaining my unwavering love
For I am an ailurophile

Pouring my heart out onto paper
Writing it in the blood I shed
flowing out of my veins in never ending rivulets
the crimson stains penetrating
crying out from my constantly bleeding heart

Dying and flaking out
being swept away in the never ending breeze, the winter
chipping away at whatever's left behind
nothing but dead and hollow dreams left
a million invisible pieces of shattered heart
floating around the world never to be brought together again

I used to giggle and laugh at the old times we had
But now all they do is make me sad
Reminiscing in sweet serendipity
Remembering the good with the bad

Noticing subtle changes through the years
Some of them good, some of them bad
Changing
Evolving into what we are today

Losing who I once was close to
Feeling loneliness for the first time
Something breaking deep inside
Causing me to turn and hide

Forgetting how those days could make me feel
Brightening up my days
Bringing life to a lifeless world
Melting the frozen parts hidden within

Sweet nostalgia
Laughter filling up long forgotten memories
Remembering the day we first met
And the long lost day we forever parted

tiny fragments chip off my soul
spiraling into oblivion
How much hate has corrupted my soul?
How much of your love can make me whole?
sending me crashing to my knees
eating up my shriveled heart
which turns to dust
craving your love
craving your warmth
getting your hate
your cruelty
your lies
opening up to someone so lost
ending up paying the painful cost
I lost my trust
I lost my love
maybe if I knew I didn't love you
it would've ended well
invisible chains held me to you
scarring my soul
my mind too
burying me deep inside
my walls stay up
not one comes down
no matter how hard you or I pound

The day you smiled was the day I fell
fell so hard I couldn't even tell
talking about anything an everything in between
talking 'bout you
talking 'bout me

I wanna be the girl you notice for more than a day
the girl you'll remember after May
the girl you'll hopefully want to stay
a bright memory among the existing
your summer fun
your only one

if only for a day
I'll get you to stay
you take my heart
and I'll steal yours away
promise to come
and to never leave

our summer love will never fade
but always grow
ingrained on my soul is what you are my own beautiful Northern Star
you lead me to myself, the truth inside
and bring out all the secrets I want to hide

Invisible for all to see.
Invisible to you and me.
The cruel angel they call out as death.
Has greeted many with a draining breath.
He held out his hand for you and me.
And suddenly expected us to see.
A strange and bewildering destiny.
You were wrapped around a tree.
and bound by metal with the weight of three.
But see here I was surely puzzled.
And out of nowhere it became befuddled.

Soft little hearts
so fragile
so fare
take hold of mine with gentle care
hold it as an artist would a brush
cherish it with all your heart before it's lost
gaining my heart is a high price to pay
opening me up., too
and getting me to stay
I want you to hold my heart
and love it with all you are
and let me know every once in a while I'm your shining star
I don't want the world
or anything between it
I want you
and I want you to see it
I have a hard time with showing how I feel
but hopefully this will show you what's true and real

I fell for you like rain from the sky
Your touch seared into skin
I keep falling deep into this cancer called love
Constantly spreading through me

Always coming back to claim more of me each time
Putting my heart out there for the taking
The feeling of thousands of tiny stars colliding
Exploding into one large bursts of euphoria

Lighting me up from the inside out
Radiating this feeling through my pores
Feeling like our love can power this world of ours
Your love cascading over me

All you have to do is touch me and I'm on a high
Your loves allows me to grow wings and fly
Soaring high out into the world
Picking me up when I'm down

Scared to fall for your gentle touch
You're my bright light
In this otherwise dark existence
I wouldn't have it any other way

Just to be with you for another day
Looking in space for the stars and the heavens
Then turned to the heavens and found you.

Love is unkind that we all know
It is unkind and delivers a hard blow
It scatters our heart to where it needs mending,
Because we all know it wasn't meant for bending,

Love can be cruel like death
It'll rip your heart out and leave you without a breath,
But love can be kind
If and when you open your mind

It can lift you up when you are down
It can even turn your life around
Lets you see what wasn't all there
And opens your heart and teaches you to share

Love is sometimes unfair and unjust
But to that we must learn to adjust
And in the we all play the game
And so.etimes we even all experience it the same

Words are powerful things
Thought up from the heart
Be careful what you say
they have the power to destroy
The power to create
But once they are said they cannot be taken away
They scar and break people into bits
And uplift them when they are down
Words can even change the world
If they are allowed

Ideas flowing from my brain
None of them sounding sane
Elephants floating in the sky
The kiss of death I do hide

Broken wings once held with grace
Has fallen upon a soulless face
Empty cups once filled with youth
Broken thoughts coming together as one

Slowly and painfully they come undone,
Unzipping itself from the prongs
Undoing the right and righting the wrong,
Endless thoughts running through my brain

They come and go
Killing me softly each time
Each and every thought all mine
Slipping through my reality

http://allpoetry.com/poem/12448037-Endless-Thoughts-by-Smith49

Quiet voices filling my head
Saying things all laced with dread
Scarlet tears running down my face
Running in rivulets at a steady pace
You cannot see them they are not there
Cause if you did you'd stop and stare
You picked and pried open my mind
To see the truths I couldn't hide
Gently they roll down my face
To all be bottled in a deep dark place
I hide them there for none to see
Cause none of them are filled with glee
Memories all hidden away
Collected and make up a rainy day
They roll and rumble like thunder in the sky
They were always meant for me to hide

Pulling
Pulling to get away from you,
Pulling to hope and find the truth.
I look so deep with no where to go,
And then the tears start to flow.
Bending and winding down my cheeks,
To the day you weren't so weak.
Coming undone by tiny threads,
Feelings of loneliness all welled up in my head.
I learned to hate from the best,
To hide my feelings and puff out my chest.
Built up walls around my heart,
But that my friend is just the start.
I emotionally cast myself away,
Hiding from this seemingly unbearable pain.
And for all this I feel a deep shame,
For this I'll never be the same.
But in my end I'll always have you to blame.

Bleeding from the eyes is sorrow unspoken
My soul left open wide and barren
Stolen was all I could give
I once was innocent
But that was taken from me
Like many things in my life
Caustic lies spat my way
Breaking me down in sections
Trying and succeeding at holding me back
They say I need someone to talk to
But they're the ones who never listen
Always turning a blind eye
Where do I turn?
Who do I trust?
Betrayal and lost is all I've ever known
These dark feelings begging to come out
But they must forever be chained deep inside
Where the darkness feeds it
Allowing it to consume who I once was
It releases its' horror on the world
Then all I see is red
Red
Red everywhere

Loneliness doesn't consume who I am
Burning bright is a fire deep inside
Never extinguishing
Never fading away
As days go by this light inside gets brighter
No one notices anymore
They all fade to gray Submitting to conformity
Losing what they once were
Not an ounce of uniqueness survives
It dwindles to the dark gloomy world
Shell casing of humans are left behind
Moving through life like programed robots
I'm the only spark to individuality left
The vibrant rainbow lighting up this gray world
Just one touch from me is all it takes
Slowly the world gains color again
Extinguishing conformity
No gray left
Empty casings now full of life
Beaming individuals
Forever changing the world

Burning me up to a cinder
I'm on fire
Yes
I'm on fire

Creating a moment that lives forever
I'm on fire
Yes
I'm on fire

Taking my love to remember
I'm on fire
Yes
I'm on fire

Slaves to life we all are
Gaining trust that never falls
Building words to live and learn
Getting lost when the tables turn
I'm on fire
Yes
I'm on fire (x4)

It's the heat of the moment that stays forever
We were young and having fun
Dancing til the sun was nearly gone
Living like no other
I'm on fire
Yea
I'm on fire(x4)

We thought our love could never die
But here we are looking at the sky
Saying goodbye and staring at the stars
Into the night we part from one
I'm on fire
Yes
I'm on fire(x4)

Burning me up into a cinder
I'm on fire
Yes
I'm on fire

Creating a moment that lives forever
I'm on fire
Yes
I'm on fire

Taking my love to remember
I'm on fire
Yes
I'm on fire

No one noticed
Or even cared
Some days I was gone
Some days I was there
No matter how hard I tried
I was never noticed
Just a lonely wallflower
Trying to get noticed
Staying alone by default
Learning to write my words and thought
Sometimes you see me
Most times you don't
I hide behind a veil so thick
I listen to the rain gently fall with a patter
Life goes on without me I see
Just a pariah that was meant to be
Content with going unnoticed
Happy all alone
No one to please
No one to condone
I'm invisible for all to see
But not entirely invisible can't you see.

I fell for you like the rain from the sky
Your touch seared into my skin
I keep falling deeper in this cancer called love
Constantly spreading through me

Always coming back to claim more of me each time
Putting my heart out there for the taking
The feeling of thousands of tiny stars colliding
Exploring into one large burst of euphoria

Lighting me up from the inside out
Radiating this feeling through my pores
Feeling like our love can power this world of ours
Cascading over me

All you have to do is touch me and I'm on a high
Your love allows me to wings and fly
Soaring high into the world
Picking me up when I'm down

Scared to fall for your gentle touch
Feeling your love with my eyes, heart, and soul
These hands of yours building eternal love
As long as I have you by my side

There's nothing left I want to hide
Opening my heart up to a deeper, stronger love
Releasing me from my own shackles
Everything timelessly lovely

http://allpoetry.com/poem/12452095-Timelessly-Lovely-by-Smith49

Fallen but once was held so high
Never meant to fly
Shriveled black wings
Whither and die
Scarring over
Hiding deep inside my closet
You're my own personal demon
My battle that I must over come
You scream and tear to come out
I hear you deep inside
But you must hide
Tearing at my flesh
Ripping me up from the inside out
Constantly I hear you shout
But I can't let you out
You will never win
I will defeat you in the end
You're the demon I must face
The one thing I must release
My battle scars will prove victory and not loss
I will triumph
You will lose.

I went into the woods searching for some fun,
I went into the woods and with me I had a gun,
The sun was gone and the moon arised,
And out jumped a person, I was surprised,
I took out my gun and shot three times

A puddle of blood surrounded a head
And that's when I learned I shot someone dead,
It was an accident I screamed and cried,
And now I had an extra body to hide
I went back home and looked in my shed

And found a shovel to bury the newly dead,
But when I returned the body was gone,
I checked my watch and knew I hadn't been long,
I knew what I did was very wrong
I broke out in a sweat

And knew I couldn't leave just yet
I looked up the trees and in between them,
The body is gone and that is true
But where did it go for I did not know
I walked around and held my breath

And later walked to my death
He ate the body I accidentally shot
And told me to fear not
I ran and screamed and then got shot
But by no mortal I fear not

I have this crazy art teacher
He is a man
He likes to draws things with his hand
He ignores me like I'm not even there
Even when I stand and stare
He tends to dance around like a baboon
And sometimes runs screaming out the room
He dances around and jest and play
But sometimes he needs to listen and stay
I told him once I didn't like him
He told me once he didn't care
And since that day he stopped and stared

Shadows coming off the walls
Casting me into my own oblivion
My own wonderland of madness
Counting the hours as they slowly tick by,
I gradually go by as they time flies by
Talking to the man in the moon
And going even more crazy in my tiny mental room,

Chasing fairies in the sky
Trying to learn how to fly
Walking trees go running by
Laughing and frolicking
Talking flowers grow legs and climb
Waging wars til the end of all time
It's white versus red

Battles and gore all break out
Bloodshed is on my walls
My breathing starts to slow
Leaving my body deflating me
I'm now a shadow on my all
My end has come
Forever casted into my own wonderland of madness

Joyous glee comes from your mouth
every single time you laugh
can't help but smile when you look at me
I'm a fool in love *** can't you see

everyday I see your face
it makes my heart pick up its' pace
I love how you're you and no one else
you play your games and give manly shouts

you melt my heart down into goo
I hope this felling will be the start of something new
I saw you once and that was all I needed
then my heart started rapidly beating

you don't know what you've done to me
why would you, you don't see
I'm afraid to tell you how I feel
you might not feel the attraction is real

I've been hurt so bad it's scary
I hope saying this doesn't make you weary
so here I am telling you how I feel
maybe you feel it too and we can make a relationship real

Head lifted towards Heaven
But casted down to Hell
That's where my darkest demons dwell
They bite and rip at my flesh
Begging to be free
My soul is ripped wide open
And in comes the horror
I face the past and the demons they bring
Never shying away
I go forth and accept my punishment
Do not forsaken me
I accept my faults, my wrongdoings
Forgive me
Forgive me is all I ask
Life takes unexpected twists and turns
From which everyone must learn
Forgive me I ask
And you will see
I learned my lesson
Can't you see

You left me here to starve and die
Looking me boldly in my sorrowful eyes
You left me without home or bed
and now my mind slowly fills with dread

Where will I live and when will I eat
I one day hope we'll never have to meet
My heart is black, and vile, and murky
And now I know I'll never be so lucky

I'm glad you left me alone to die
Cause now I don't have to constantly lie
I never loved you and I never will
And someday I hope you burn in Hell

You kicked me out with no where to go
So now I truly am all alone
Don't try and convince me to come back
Because it was you who stabbed me deep in the back

Bees buzzing around your head
In your yard and in your bed
Constantly flying around the sky
Sometimes wishing you could fly
they land and fly whenever they please
And have no one to appease
You watch them with a wondering eye
Watching as they fly so high
Buzzing around your yard you see
Laughing and filling your heart with glee
You see your bee above your head
He stings you and now he's dead
You cry and cry cause you lost your friend
But surely that's not the end
You lost your friend and that might be true
But don't let that get to you
The suns in sky
Go out and play
Don't make this into a rainy day
Put on a smile
And stay a while
See now you're happy
Can't you see
Your little heart is now filled with glee
Now smile forever and have some fun
Cause now the days nearly done

H- Hardly having any friend.
A- Always putting others before myself.
L- Loner.
E- Empty is sometimes how I feel.
Y- You wouldn't even notice me if I passed by

I had a dream last night
It told me what to do
I looked down road one
Then I looked down road two
Poems began to float around my head
Singing songs of laughter
It was then that I knew
What my life was after
I chose the high road and to write
I chose it quick and fast
Because all I knew was that my life would surely pass
My dream told me I was born to write
That writing was my breath of fresh air
It was my one true love
Writing about my future
Dreaming about my past
The dream I dreamed was nearly done

Life takes unexpected twists and turns
From which everyone must learn
Encompassing the truth one might see
Resonant voices telling right from wrong
Turning life into one large song
Fugacious dreams never coming true
Amorphous cascading of "ifs and buts"
Sagacious words flowing from the mouths of our elders
Directing us down the right path
Do we stay right or left?
Playing right into the hands of quixotic decisions
Changing the route of our life
Falling off the path of righteousness
The good in your decisions only there for a second then ****
Gone
Life is slowly turning into your own Hell
You start stealing, lying, and doing drugs
Corrupting your own soul
You find a gun and rob and steal
Then one day a thought comes to you
You found a means of an end to your misery
You press the gun against your temple
Bang! finally you ended your pain

Darkness consuming my inner thoughts
breaking through all the hairline cracks
plastered together with life's tar moments
breaking me from the outside

Nothing seems to be left but an empty shell casing
void of emotion
when will I get my old self back?
you broke me

Taking away my innocence
no longer wrapped in white
but enveloped in shades of black and hate
the one person I thought I could trust

A skeleton among the living
scared to love and trust
wandering aimlessly in my shame
when it's you who should be ashamed

Breaking down your only daughter
I wake many nights screaming
losing more of myself with each passing day
struggling just to get by

Shedding blood, tears, and my soul
haunted eyes stare back in the mirror
a broken person is what left
forever struggling to stay alive

Words cascade from my mouth
Like gentle dew drops at dawn
Making changes in the world
Covering the world in a blanket of pure white snow
Time suddenly stops
Beginning again with the slightest snap of my fingers
Entering serenity
A kind of peace that's unforgettable
Flowing gently from the sky
Words of the old
And words of the wise
Changing the world and causing surprise
People start to look up at the sky
What they see they do not know
Beautiful words wrap around their heads
The slightest word a person can speak
Can change the world
Making it better, lovelier, and even more peaceful

Living life through a rose tinted glass,
tinted to the flaws of the world,
Naiveté posing a threat to plainly seeing how life truly is,
eating away my being is the outcome of blindly seeing.

Thinking people are all good,
people are cruel, greedy, and narrow-minded.
Trampling over others to get to the top,
only to find out wealth isn't all it's cracked up to be.

My heart beats but is not heard
crying out for love
for anything to grasp onto
cracking under the loss of normality

Longing for a mother's touch
oozing out tainted blood to circulate through an empty shell
beating to a steady, sad beat
these hands of mine caress once what was hollow and broken

They write out things, dark things
allowing my hearts blood to write words lost to speech
gaining strength
losing that gentle soft touch

Etched scars forever staunched from flowing onto paper
creating art one word at a time
darkness is what consumes this clockwork of my brain
buried deep are thought that could never be brought to the surface

Allowing dark thoughts to flow through my hand to meet paper
thinking back to shadowed days of the past
ticking away at catchy lines
sinking deeper and deeper into my souls confines

Dragging to the surface what must be left alone
My mouth tightly sealed
tries to hide words that can't be spoken
tongue silently flitting over my teeth silently speaking thoughts

Feeling the words drip down from gums like saliva
gathering words in a shallow puddle
longing for my lips to speak what I know I mustn't utter
Succumbing to the inner battles the words wages on my delicate mouth

Horrible things have been seen with these tattered eyes of mine
death forever ingrained in my mind through these eyes
Burning and searing into memories sights I have sought after
sights full of beautiful imagery

Leaving my grasping for more
pull in colors to put in little glass vile
so I can go back and uncork my very essence of happiness
These feet have traveled to far away places

Taking me on a journey to behold
taking root to a future
leading me to nowhere and everywhere at the same time
staying put taking in all of my surroundings

tapping out beats of a worn path
leading the way to one endless journey through life