the search for purity clung onto the tingling feeling,
sinking deeper inside me with every breath.
the depthless feelings foreshadowed peace and relaxation,
it glided down my skin in clumps of electromagnetic waves.
the warmness that i never received as a child made its way to my furniture and onto me,
the heat made me feel complete and resided in me externally and internally.
a sense of security rushed over me, i believed i would feel this warm competence forever.
the overabundance of warm matter guided me to a place of purity.
every ache i had was flushed out in one long heat-wave throughout my whole body,
i finally found purity.

the ritual is like a dance foreshadowed by the first rush;
a smooth and soothing building block
characterizing my indulgence.
the room brightens and colorful shafts of light
surround my television in waves of heat.

it's 5:51 am
i haven't slept in 3 days
im wired.
methamphetamine

don't cry at my funeral
i had choices to make
i made the wrong ones
i only lived for the next high
when you took that away
i died
overdosed

it's foggy outside but my thoughts are so clear.
when i swallow pills my words melt and troubles disappear.
i forget that i'm failing this class for just one moment.
just one moment and everything is okay.

i did anything to have you,
without you i wasn't the same,
routine tasks became hard without you and your influence.
every insecurity i had was flushed out through a tingling feeling that started at my fingertips and traveled through my whole body.
i sat in silence, submerging myself in pure euphoria.
i'd leave everything behind just to have a tiny taste of your bliss back in my life.
just one more time,
oxycodone.

my dentist said i have cavities
i'm proud of them.
my dentist begged me to stop
i can't go a day without skittles
addiction