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Ghizlane Z May 2015
Tender whispers spark up my spine
Whispers of sorrow
My thoughts hollow
And your ears crave a sentence or two
You listen
No one listens
But you do
Vocals open their arms
You passionately grab them
Embrace their effect
You listen
I'd tell you how I'm missing a touch
But it'd be to bliss to love

Ghizlane Z Apr 2015
Be free
                                     Be the unexpected

Ghizlane Z Mar 2015
Time will pass
You will grow and your free will
Will soon become a figment of your imagination
I beg you, presume yourself
Become something you never expected to be
Make it a continuation
Their double standards aren't obligated upon your shoulders
They will never be your burden
No obligations
Ghizlane Z Mar 2015
We had history
Twisted with mysteries and untold truths
Rivers of awkward silences and unspoken of confessions

Days of you at my house within my walls
Creating an intimate atmosphere
That soon began to fall
After I told you I was going far
But it wasn't confirmed
You were so quick to assume
And drop everything that was so bliss
You never wanted to presume
What you stopped

Except I don't blame you
We all are afraid of random goodbyes
And the thoughts of never having a moment to say 'hi'
Ever again
But since then I refused to pretend that it didnt hurt
It hurt that you quickly wanted to be out of a lurked
But intense relationship/
friendship/ I don't know what the **** it is

And I remember the lips that were so full and tender
Thy only lips I'd ever lock
The only lips that made me question my own sanity

Now I see mere value
And profanity
I'll never forget the (a)fro you use to wear
I never been in so much lust
When you'd walk from a distance
While in public I'd look at you and feel pride
That I'm the girl you loved to hide
And swear it was only cause you cared about my well being
I was deceived to believe in your false seeing
And I waited for you to admit it
But till this day you avoid it
Is it pride?
Or am I just not good enough that I must go back and hide
And even though you apologized
I still have a load of 100 kg of unnecessary  pain on my chest
And I hope everyday
That you'd stand by and say
That you are deeply





words will always cure me
Ghizlane Z Mar 2015
Its every morning
Every evening every night
She forces herself to stand by
Her own mind
She would fight battles and allow the wounds to control her
She was just, honest and full of love
Except she couldn't show it enough
She was chained
From her ankles to her brain
And she would refrain
From ever asking for help
Because she was afraid
Afraid that someone would deny that she is struggling
That someone would hold her and throw her against the room and say
"You are nothing but a narcissist, get out of my way"
She would refrain
Refrain from pulling her words to real life
And creating something that would mock minds
She was afraid to be her
She would throw the prayer mat and begin
To whisper to God how she
Wished he would forgive
Those who have sinned
And help those who will continue to sin
She always hated how she couldn't ask for forgiveness
She felt like she never deserved it
As if she knew she was destined to be away from heaven
She would hear her friends complain about their haters
And envy it because at least they hadn't hated themselves as much as she did
She would read and read and read
On "how to love yourself "
Than recognize how cheesy the steps were
She would sit down and observe the smiles and the supports
The bliss moments everybody was receiving
She envied it for much reasons
Because she could never be how they seemed
She was envious of those who found happiness
Of those who could look in the mirror and find minor flaws but appreciate them
Of those who would do good and look up to God out of sincerity
Hoping the good deed would be full of purity
She envied thy souls
The ones who would grow to be good righteous and compassionate about themselves
She envied how they wouldn't refrain from self-love
She had given up years ago
But a little voice
As small as every molecule in this room
Said to her
' you are boundless from success and love '
You are insincere to yourself
You block the sincere acts that would satisfy u
Because the sincerity in loving yourself lacks
Which makes the love for God be questioned
So much perceptions
And on going denials
You'll be held on the last day like a trial
And have to deal with the mistake
The mistake of being insincere to yourself
The honesty of self-love is missing
Like the sincerity in your actions
And the repenting  
The fake smiling and condescending
The on going bragging and contradicting
Whether you're doing good or not
You're misleading yourself to  believe you're sincere,
But really you fear the wrath you'll be put in
Like where you currently see Putin
oh, that voice so small but so broad
  Making her wanna change everything wrong
Girl you're delusional
Your face is unusual
And your heart is condescending thy unusual
So stop degrading yourself
As if you're responsible for all the trauma being dealt
Like you're the reason why thousands of people were killed
Like you're the reason why your sister has to deal with anxiety attacks once in a while
Enough with the self blame
You take faults in things you weren't able to tame
Your eyes flame with tears and all the lies stream down your face
All the "I'm fine I'm  just a bit tired", come down in slow pace
You explode a fearless reaction to self hate
Begin to take your seat and meditate  
I don't mean the actual meditation
I mean prayer
Because baby girl now you are a fearless self loving warrior
Ghizlane Z Jan 2015
aged 17 started aiming to be the man of his dreams

last year of high school finally he could do good deeds

and not worry about the embarrassing comments

aged 20 second year of uni and now he's boundless from freedom

he studies his Islamic history and engineering

a mind full of knowledge he's beaming

aged 23 graduating at last he dreamed for this moment for years

steps on the stage grabs his diploma

bold Thank You God for this moment

for happiness sake

aged 25 married to the most beautiful bride

promised her years and years of satisfaction

he was going to be a man who loved affection

goals were to raise a family with no negative distractions

loved this beautiful country

lots of liberty and safety  

no denying it was near impossible to feel like a threat

there was no trouble

aged 30 had a daughter named her Zayna

beautiful young girl , he knew she had lots for the world

taught her how to read write and be free

a carefree child is all he wanted to see

Zayna grew with open minded views

viewed the beauty of not judging a man who seems as bad as the devil but inside could be like

the ying yang sign

aged 43 Zayna is now 13

witnessing her father loosing his dignity

after every racial comment that comes beneath his ears

he starts to fear

maybe soon he'll be a victim to this racist society all over his surrounding

beard so thick

wet because of his

aged 45 ; 15 years have went by and never has Zayna seen this

her father screams and yells 'im innocent i have not been dealt with these accusations'

'free me please I'm not what you think you see'

Zayna hides behind the door begging God to do something about this horror

aged 46:  a year in Guantanamo couldn't get worse than this

he went through beatings

force feedings

psychological torture

his heart is becoming softer

brain is hallucinating

tears are flooding his mind

body's shaking

weaker and weaker

becomes his state

first name is Ahmed

last is Bashir

his mind full of knowledge

his knees weak due to fear

first name is Zayna

last name Bashir

lonely teenager

wishing her father would be there

Ghizlane Z Jan 2015
he woke up at the rise of the sun

heard calls a KKK member feared to be apart of

he inspected his surroundings

made sure no terrorist came along to attack him

performed his morning ablution

simple movements allowing the water to purify his truth

looked up to the sky and heard boom, BOOM

Laila where's Laila , he ran back home searching for the innocent life he opens to

smokey roads smelling like phosphorous and American hate

he speculates

says his prayer searches through blood baths

never looking back

the man who throw they attack throws his daughter in his face

says is this the terrorist you've been raising to be everyday


eyes filled with fire hating devil connecting lies


that's what they called him

after loosing the only  love he had

his hate became symbolic


they lied to him and deceived him

made him believe this was all for his freedom

they treated him like an agent

although he deserved to be a victim


he was just a man who believed in nothing but his faith

he had a family he was once ok

now he walks down the streets where once his family played

and celebrated religious holidays

he searches for what he believes is his enemy

grabs the hand of his worst friend and says

please lets stop the violence

lets pretend as if this wasn't a plan to serve the elite class

please i am only a man i am in grieve

please lets love each other lets not bleed

smacked in the face

exaggerated hate

die you terrorist there's no peace between you and me

#terrorist #politics #anger #muslim #soldier #child #death #America #KKK #love #revenge #peace
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