When I was ten I stepped on a honey bee
resting in the gravel, it stung me and died
& in that moment I tried to bargain with death,
I said I will **** no more bees and in return
I too will not die. Death said nothing, of course,
he, or she, or it, was quiet as an elm or a shingle,
as the millionfold language of the grass.
I imagined assent but now, looking back,
I realize that nothing was finalized,
we never shook on the deal. No, the bee died
on my bare foot, defending itself against
a strange olive hide that blotted the sun.
Three and a half decades later I perch here
in my tower, my brain congested
with depressions, my heart a fallen fog,
my hands ache strangely and my legs tire -
perhaps the best I can manage is to further
the stoic philosophy of the slaughtered bee:
sometimes the best you can do is to slow
a shadow that's more real than the object.