I am strange
To this I know
But I am not as deranged
As most would think so
I scream, I laugh, I cry and shed tears
I have my hopes, I have my fears
But we cry for different things, you and I
Different in laughter, sobs, and meanings of goodbye
Different of skin mayhaps, but that matters not
Different of opinion and the hatred it's wrought
Different personalities that sometimes collide
Different families that care and provide
But aside from the estranged difference between you and me
We are both a part of humanity
And if you are so mighty to decree
The insanity in me
Then you're a madman as well for not letting me be

Don't you dare
Pretend to care
Go away
I don't want to play
This isn't a game
I'm not the same
You have him and are happy
I am contempt with solitude, with me
So take your lies to a different fool
I am finished with being a tool

I care
But nobody else seems to
Everyone says they do, but they don't dare
And nobody knows what I go through.
Most would break their backs for each other
But for them I break my mind
Not that it wasn't horrendously damaged before this endeavor
But I break it more just to get left behind
So break a leg, break a spine
The only dreams destroyed are mine
All for them and no one cares to think
How happy I could be if I wasn't on the brink
Pushing aside my thoughts to ease their pain
Shattering my hopes to increase their gain
Does anyone realize what I do to show I care
With a broken mind and saddened stare?

"I have feelings for you low key"
I am saved.

Alone in my house
Not a word, not a chirp, not a squeak from a mouse
And the more I think, the deeper becomes of my pain
I pick up the phone and send a message to explain
As best I could of my distress that traps me
Of the nightmares that never shall leave me be
But I could only give you a very vague taste
Of the story of how my life is disgraced
I want to drown it out in physical pleasures
But there is no reprieve from my madness that stirs
Deranged and damaged
My head has been ravaged
And I want you to know that I'll always feel sorrow
It won't go away, no such thing as a better tomorrow
But I just couldn't let it go in that very moment
Because I was too distraught, much too hellbent
I'm sorry if my sudden outburst was inconvenient for you
But here I wear a smile again, as I always do

Chasing a dream
Thinking to love
Make hope gleam
Reach for a place above
Trying for better
Watching for hope
Dreaming of happiness
Avoiding a noose tied from rope
Thinking life is bliss
Hoping someone will catch interest in me
Hoping to gather some self-esteem
Each is a fool's errand, clearly
And I follow each one, chasing an empty dream