I care
But nobody else seems to
Everyone says they do, but they don't dare
And nobody knows what I go through.
Most would break their backs for each other
But for them I break my mind
Not that it wasn't horrendously damaged before this endeavor
But I break it more just to get left behind
So break a leg, break a spine
The only dreams destroyed are mine
All for them and no one cares to think
How happy I could be if I wasn't on the brink
Pushing aside my thoughts to ease their pain
Shattering my hopes to increase their gain
Does anyone realize what I do to show I care
With a broken mind and saddened stare?

"I have feelings for you low key"
I am saved.

Alone in my house
Not a word, not a chirp, not a squeak from a mouse
And the more I think, the deeper becomes of my pain
I pick up the phone and send a message to explain
As best I could of my distress that traps me
Of the nightmares that never shall leave me be
But I could only give you a very vague taste
Of the story of how my life is disgraced
I want to drown it out in physical pleasures
But there is no reprieve from my madness that stirs
Deranged and damaged
My head has been ravaged
And I want you to know that I'll always feel sorrow
It won't go away, no such thing as a better tomorrow
But I just couldn't let it go in that very moment
Because I was too distraught, much too hellbent
I'm sorry if my sudden outburst was inconvenient for you
But here I wear a smile again, as I always do

Chasing a dream
Thinking to love
Make hope gleam
Reach for a place above
Trying for better
Watching for hope
Dreaming of happiness
Avoiding a noose tied from rope
Thinking life is bliss
Hoping someone will catch interest in me
Hoping to gather some self-esteem
Each is a fool's errand, clearly
And I follow each one, chasing an empty dream

Spinning
The world is dizzying
The sky is turning
My mind is aching
Everything makes sense yet so confusing
All of this nonsense is mentally abusing
So little gained yet not worth losing
A path I make my own but not by my choosing
The light is blinding
The darkness is binding
My path is rewinding
My head is grinding
My body is bleeding
But I keep writing
Because the words keep biting
And my soul keeps screaming
In this world so beautifully spinning

Such fun, such joy!
Out to play, a girl and boy
The boy looks at her and grins
But a shadow grins back, the only one who wins
Days of plays go by
Building up the boy's courage
But comes the girl's sweet lullaby
From the shadow to leave the boy ravaged
She seemed sad to sing such poisonous notes
But the boy just smiles and quotes
"Worry not, princess so fair
I remain unharmed by this affair"
So she smiles and walks with the shadow
And the boy turns to let loose his sorrow
And a single question comes to mind
"Why am I so painfully blind?"