I don't want to remember
I can never forget
The regrets and guilt I hold forever
Trying to hide that I'm upset.
I can never repent
All of my will is spent
I am not hollow
No, it's much worse
I am filled with sorrow
Venom dripping from every verse
My skin is porcelain
Perfect outside
To hold my misdeeds and sin
Keeping them to hide
Every smile is not a lie to my friends, but to me
Trying in desperation to say "I'm happy"
Please tell me I'm not okay
Hold me and tell me to cry and I'll gladly obey

I'm okay
It's been a good day
You don't need to stay
Just go away
I don't care
I wouldn't dare
There's nothing to beware
I think it's fair
It's not my doing
There's no storm brewing
It's a happy tune I sing
You're dreaming

I'm a liar
I'm a monster
I'm a good for nothing freak
I'm a cheater
I'm a spider
Don't listen when I speak

Go for it
I can, you bet
It's cool, don't worry
My memory is a bit blurry
I'm available
I'm willing and able
I'm not that bad
It's sad
I like it
I don't want to quit
I don't regret a thing
There's more I can bring

I'm a liar
I'm a monster
I'm a good for nothing freak
I'm a cheater
I'm a spider
Don't listen when I speak

Welcome to my web of lies
These are only a few of my devious cries
I'm really something to despise
I'm where any dream comes and dies
I'm a disease to be hated
One that I created
Fabricated
And my greed can't be sated
But before you turn away
My whole life has been this way
It's been a lie, and I believed it
And since I found truth my heart has been a pit
I am a walking lie
And all I ask for is to die
These last words are the truth behind me
My reason, my torment, my misery

I'm a liar
I'm a monster
I'm a good for nothing freak
I'm a cheater
I'm a spider
Don't listen when I speak

My memory is overbearing
Regret is all it will ever bring
Always thinking about my mistakes
And the more I remember the more my heart breaks
I remember everything I could have had
If I tried harder, I wouldn't have been so bad
I don't understand me
Not like they used to
Ruining what was meant to be
And there's not a thing I can do
To bring them back to me
To be happy once more
As I have been once before

.
A poet's heart isn't like any other...
It's the tears that trickle with radiance through words.
     It's a treasure trove that hides but longs to
     be found.
          It's a book shelved high that wants to
          be read.
               It's the freest of all birds caged but
               unbound...

A poet's heart isn't like any other...
It doesn't beat to the capable strokes of the artist.
     It doesn't pump in the most vibrant of
     colours.
          It doesn't wield a paintbrush to
          translate its thoughts.
               But it can see through the eyes of
               painters...

A poet's heart isn't like any other...
It doesn't conform to the conventional parameters of lyrics.
     It doesn't bind itself to the requirements
     of musical harmony.
          It doesn't follow the conventions of
          genres.
               But it sings its voice loud without
               restrictions of melody...

A poet's heart isn't like any other...
It's an open secret, that whispers in metaphoric codes.
     It's an exploding universe, that merges
     back into galaxies.
          It's a sought after painting, that boasts
          of unfathomable beauty.
               It's an everlasting song, that echoes
               within the poet that embodies...

Endless doubts cloud my head
So much so that I'd rather be dead
Not much can really be said
About my worries when I lay awake in bed
Maybe. . . The blade would look better in red
And forever rest my heavy head