She twitches,
I assume out of subconscious fears,
When she's falling close to sleep.

I realize now
The full efforts of what she's been trying to tell me
She is honestly
Struggling.

But that single day was near perfect,
And she kissed me more than she had in over a week,
But not once on my mouth.

What use is it to satisfy what your desire
If you actually don't.

And leave my thoughts disoriented by the fact that
He exists.

Last night,
Home,
I was searching for my peace,
That peace was your presence until he interjected
And I swear it will be this way until
You find some closure.

And by god,
I hope it is not I whom you sever.

She said she'd break my heart.
I think it will be the other way around.

We have invisible friends of
Pleasure and repetition
Of the things which nobody sees
But we still do.
The foot tapping
The circling of fingers on plastered walls
The counting of heartbeats while sitting.
The remembrance of bruises and scars
The regrets of actions long past
The desire to act on the current.
Oft do we ignore our natural state
Such attitudes are unhealthy to the mind
Feed your desires.

Because you gotta leave
and I have so many emotions
and you're busy all the time
and I'm bipolar and don't expect
you to deal with my lows
and you're bad at it
and I'd rather deal with myself
and you constantly tell me to take medication

We don't talk
because I don't want to look at you
and emotions numbed me
and you don't want to speak to me
and my lows are happening more and more
and it's scaring me
and you can't bother with me
because i don't want to deal with myself
so I'd rather drown myself in medication

Nothing hurts more
than seeing you
with her

There's a body on a table in a morgue.
That's all.