My grandmother taught me to knit once.
but she didn't tell me how to use it.
Now I wonder if I can needlepoint you a cushion,
that has all the right words on it.
If I can cover my mistakes with a bigger pattern,
or if I can cover yours.
I wonder what it would take,
to forget the past,
or to knit a future real enough to drown in.
Do you need mittens for your hands,
Or a sweater for your mind?
Maybe the wool could wipe away your troubles.
or maybe the warmth would take you with.
Now I wonder if I could pull your outsides in,
because I'm afraid you'll try on your own.
If my needles produce a scarf,
will you cover your eyes?
If my needles produce an answer,
will you finally have a question?
If my needles produce an answer,
would you stop pretending you don't need one?
My grandmother taught me to knit once,
Now I wonder if I could knit your dreams into reality,
Or if I could knit your stars into place.
Maybe then they would learn how to shine for you.

the more I eat the more I hate
my body someone please relate
i read about your nice quick fix
i'll stick to every classic trick
my throat tastes like acid re-flux
so why didn't the toothbrush work?
f**k.
you look at me and see my eyes?
but look again you'll see my thighs,
look again my soul is fat,
my words are binging,
my mind is flat.
A brand new verb I'll save away
just like my tears they slave away
i whisper signs among my friends,
they don't eat we just pretend
nicotine and gum and ice,
we'll cover up your thoughts- how nice
an image for your catalog,
a story in your monologue,
mono street light, mono please.
the girl fell over, hear her plea

Toxicity runs down the sink drain tonight
I look at the mirror as if my eyes could bite
My throat tries to forget the things that I told it
My mind bends quiet 'round the counter I'm holding

My stomach feels clean but my hands- they feel *****
My knees hit the floor and mama don't worry
Because sooner or later I'll lose this long fight
Just let the mistakes be flushed out tonight

My body resisted, the first war that I won
I feel control over myself- like the moon o'er the sun.
My legs crave for more so they won't let me leave
This is my toothbrush sob-love reality.

Emily Sideshave- What do you know?
Emily Sideshave- Have you ever seen snow?
Emily Sideshave- How much do you weigh?
Emily Sideshave- How long should I wait?
Emily Sideshave- Do you care about life?
Emily Sideshave- please be my wife.
Emily Sideshave- The Dark Lady is ancient
Emily Sideshave- I'm trying- be patient
Emily Sideshave- Could I take your name?
Emily Sideshave- Do you ever behave?
Emily Sideshave- Do you feel self conscious?
Emily Sideshave- please meet me beyond this