I am so homesick,
And for what home?
Sick of trying to find the way
To where? To who?

And I think the idea of home
Is keeping my soul at bay
From turning blue
Or from falling into the abyss

Because I am so homesick,
Yet home is an illusion
A lover's rotten hope
For a pleasant eternal rest

You don't know how much
I am willing to surrender
just to give you even an ounce
of hope
and sunshine that I have

I can't wait to see you
genuinely happy,
in solitude,
in the company of others,
in the mundane

My tuahine, I love you.
I do not know how to tell you,
but your existence
makes my world
a little more bearable

pleasantly bothered,
with ***** came a violent lust,
honeysuckle, you suckled me
thunders struck as bodies aligned,
tongues entwined

I rocked with your rhythm,
your fingers had me opening up
like I was among the Primroses
you stroked at night
drunken eyes, gasping mouths

savage, reluctant, insatiable
you are, while I was, and still am
bewildered, dazed, but unfazed.
with the intoxication of spirits,
came a heavenly sin

to feel a year younger
in an hour,
to have my face filled with
the crescents,
the creases,
these laugh lines
that I never thought
I'd ever see again

to be a year younger
in an hour,
with someone
a year younger than me,
is quite dangerous,
but nevertheless,
the fire of a Jupiterian
never says no to death

under the pale moonlight,
thinly strapped slip dress,
it's only 2am daddy,
see those bright city lights
making way through my thighs

oh, I can only wish
that you were here
swaying and kissing me,
I'd be the baby to your daddy
be your little kitten

you don’t have to do anything,
just put your sweet kiss on me,
give your sweet little baby
something to toss and turn about
from night to dawn

I wish you hit me.
On the face, on the arm, on my ribs,
whether it was a punch or a kick,
it did not matter.

I wish you hit me,
it would have been much easier
to show the people and your friends
the greens, the violets, the reds.

But you didn't.
Instead you used your mouth,
oh, and the sweet and bitter words,
beautiful, crazy, too much.

I bet it was easier to whisper poison
onto my ears and my head,
than to drag me out of your apartment,
and show the world who you truly are.

And now I am left with an invisible battle
that haven't even scarred yet.
And nobody knows,
nobody sees.

The greens, the violets, the reds,
the rotting, the foul smell,
of my decaying heart and soul,
eating off of your love and lies.

I wish you hit me instead.
So it was easier for the world to believe,
and easy for me to believe,
that you were the monster and not me.

I feel death being so close,
and yet I feel nothing.
Just mere, pure, and plain
nothingness.

I never thought that
I would wish it was death
that I felt and touched,
instead of nothingness.