I don’t want to die,
I want to cease to exist.
To never have been born
And never have lived
For my soul and body to disappear
For any memory of me to be gone
To dissolve into nothingness and
Never have been anything at all

I don’t really like who I am when I’m next to my friends,
I feel someone else every time I close the living room door in my apartment.

My mom’s at home.
I can’t recognize how I act when I’m living with my family,
If I lock the bathroom door, I feel myself now.

How can I be someone else when I’m still the person I am in any situation?
How can I feel myself when I’m alone if that means no one’s watching?
Does it mean no one is ever gonna know who I am?

Who will I be when I meet someone new?
Who will talk about me with sureness?

I still lock the doors of any room I’m in.