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 May 2018 Olivia Daniels
Noone
I saw her posting pictures of you two together today,
I don't know what happened to me after that
I could feel it, in my stomach, in my chest
I don't know what it was
Was it jealousy? Was it rage?

A series of questions are torturing my brain now
Why her? Why not me?
Am I not pretty than her?
Am I not beautiful than her?
Am I not girl enough?

I  surely don't know how to curl my lashes
I don't know how to fix my eyebrows
Can't walk on heels, Can't put on makeup
Never wore a skirt, never even an earring

But I know what makes you smile,
You like to get drunk on *****,
And sing Ed Shereen
You like to dance like crazy
You call it your "drunk dance"

Your eyes become wet when you yawn
And You don't like the freckles on your shoulder
You like pizza, But won't eat it
I don't wanna get fat you say

You have your way of kissing too
My style you call it,
when our tongues touch just for nanoseconds
And you pull yourself away

You like it when I give you a hickie
You'll check in the mirror if it is blue enough
You like running your fingers down my spine
"I love your curves", you tell me
"Your skin is so soft and you smell so pure"

You like sharing your toothbrush
You like hiding my clothes
You like closing your eyes and expecting me to kiss you
And when I don't , I can see the cute disappointment in your smile

You like chocolates 200%
You like gifts like a girl
Birthdays excite you like a child
And you can't watch a horror movie at night

Are these all phony?
The things you said to me, the things we did together
If so, you are quite an actor
And if I could, I would nominate you for an award
An award for the best teller of the untruths.....
That's what you are, a LIAR
 May 2018 Olivia Daniels
Emily
But where is the place for the people like us?
The artists, the cutters, the solemn observers.
Every INFJ. Every poisoned mind. Every social awkward with so much depth they just might sink.
The ones who have found their soul but are searching for their mind.
The ones who find their mind by losing their marbles.
The misrepresented and misunderstood.
The hurt and the happy.
With a requirement of so much patience and love that no one is willing or able to give.
The ones who make adjustments.
Who hit rock bottom and manage to get back up on their own.
The ones who fall too fast for something out of reach. They end up quietly crashing and burning.
The ones who are living under layers of paint; on their hearts and in their homes. Whose sweetness and innocence are buried somewhere underneath the paint, barely recognizable.
The ones who were born with a fifty year old soul.
Who have a biologically memorized speech that no one will hear; that no one can hear.

I ask you, where will they go, the people like us?
It's all or nothing
There is no happy medium
There is no lucky normal
It's not one or two dimensional
It's intergalactic existential
My mind is a spinning universe
Imploding with each new scenario

And I know you didn't mean to hurt my feelings
A lone observer I am
But in my mind
In my head
There are more colors than can ever be counted
And I paint pictures of you
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