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Back to square one, or so it seemed
One step forward, two steps back
While pushing myself to the extreme
I found out what I couldn't hack.

Throwing myself into life
Selfishly leaving you there
Purposely creating strife
You thought I didn't care.

By being too comfortable
I neglected my fire
My best should be palpable
So I followed my desire.

I broke myself down
To be rebuilt stronger
By leaving you in this town
Our love will last longer.

Back to square one, a life spiral higher
Is not a turn backwards
When following desire
To move her and you forward.
 Feb 2014 frankie crognale
REAL
i want  flowers to start growing out of my brain


so that  my eyes can turn into melting sweet honey
 Feb 2014 frankie crognale
REAL
i sunk my teeth
in the soft sweet bread

then swallowed it down
with my coffee

"i put way to much sugar in this coffee"

oh well

i like it
I awake in a dream upon my bed,
upon which I have never lain my head,
to soft sunlight and a gentle wind
through curtains of a life that has never been.

I hear the comforting whispers of hearth and home…
…something I have never known.
Words are spoken from a wife I’ve never met
as plates and forks on a table are set.
“Wake your father.  It’s time to eat.”
Words from a woman, I will never meet.

Footsteps clatter right to my door
until, before me, stands a girl of four.
Her hands held at her chest,
her eyes impale the soul in my breast
She asks, “Daddy, where are you?”
Spoken by a daughter I never knew.

She inhales deep and frees a sigh,
eyes downcast she turns from my bed and I
wake to darkness and sadness, both the same.

I would give my soul for just her name.
In a peculiar, far off, world, time and place,
The trivial past would be irrelevant, chased away then erased.
Contrary to the reality of distorted lies in front of my face,
These eyes cannot mask fraudulence or disgrace.
Chasing them down with a trace of a defaced case of toxic waste,
I pace as my thoughts race of the time that’s left until I dissipate.
Looking into the murky vase with dying flowers desperate to be replaced,
Misplaced to the one who’d obliterate the beauty I once embraced.

Within my sorrow I woke, shattered love replaced with a heart no longer broke.
Soaked with what I could never cope, I felt passion and choked on my once false hope.
This vision evoked a note; a call of duty for you, my eternity to devote.
Instinctively I knew, the words stuck in my throat, but blindly every incline eventually has a *****.
Surrounded by mirrors shielded with smoke,
As we stared we shared yet nothing we spoke.
Your presence was felt but disguised with a cloak,
Confined in your skin, comfortably lost afloat, for your soul I searched to perpetually stroke.

With blurred vision I envisioned, stood silent, anxious of your condition,
Division of indecision was nothing less than your frightened inquisition.
A hallucination on a mission of who was out to hurt you with consistence,
I understood as you tried to piece together the suspicion of our composition.
Guarded and in position to react upon intuition then the smoke disappeared and you saw our reflection.
No longer was my presence an imposition now in recognition you accepted the ignition of a united evolution.
Successful revision disposed internal superstition,
Our collision created a premonition for our future decisions of precision.

The past’s paths we chose were restricted to our addiction and careless indifference,
The assistance of negative influence stripped us of our innocence.
Blood shot eyes, negligence of appearance, abstracted resistance only creating distance.
Ambiguous and inexperienced, taking shots and hits in an instance,
Distorted images, lacking clarity, the abuse of substance left an absence of existence.
Building tolerance whilst sabotaging resilience, guilty and unable to admit repentance,
Without a witness, secret and safe, no justice to serve and no one to listen.
A mission incomplete and persistent,
We continue to envelope in our disappearance.

In the seam of my sickness I submerge within these contaminated nerves,
Fearing the silence with thirst not to be disturbed,
But absurdly I yearned your unhealthy and perplexed words to be heard,
My tender nature reserved an exclusive place to keep you conserved,
Unstable but concerned I’d preserve you like an herb,
I slurred for forgiveness but observed perhaps this was my turn,
But with your freedom you turned away and flew away like a bird.
Now relentless and pure I burn the surface of my figure, no intent to return.

Yet once we were young, wild and free,
Conducting our train with no fear of where we’d soon be,
The sweet breeze guaranteed the destination with ease,
Imagination without knowledge, amid glee and degree,  
We’d dive and rise above the salty sea,
Later meet beneath that tree with belief the starry sky we’d seize,
Through the debris you still held in your hand the key,
And we’d conquer our dreams, what we sought and believed.

But as I’ve grown within my questioning dome,
My home of stones has nothing to be shown,
Prone to disown my weakened skin and bones,
Candidly I pacify the clone I’ve never known.
In hopes to be flown far ahead of this zone,
I’d hover above in a whispering tone, draining my disease as it’s blown.
My soul will glisten and roam, looking down at my new golden throne,
As I’ve postponed to recognize the beauty of the Earth & my own – No longer shall I be alone.
time is but an illusion
it was made into a concrete concept
so man could comprehend it logically
but time has no logic to it
time is nothing
yet time is everything
without the occurance of time,
things would be the same as they were
this time of year two years ago
back when things first began
between he and i
and its odd to think that
that almost 730 days i ago
i didnt even know who he was
and now
i cant ever seem to forget about him
Maybe with each passing day
As the clock ticks away
Time will bring us back
To where we once began

I might have to wait eternity,
But I've got time.
I told him to call me when he cares

So

I'm still sitting here, with my phone volume

Turned all the way up

But I'm left in silence
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