I just don't know.
I love him.
That is all I know at the moment.

I just don't know.
I feel like crying.
That is all I know at the moment.

I just don't know.
I can't take a chance when I know how I feel.
That is all I know at the moment.

I just don't know.

Way before that song polluted the air
Before it became the number one on the charts
Before Taylor was even going out with Harry
I knew you were trouble when you walked in.

With your smile you took me too places that were in my head
and it is a shame on me because I could tell right from the beginning
that you were trouble.

And the Saddest fear that creeps in is not that you never loved me
Or him or her or anything
It's that I may never stop liking you.

So I knew you were trouble when you walked in
and laying on the cold hard ground I still like you.

Sitting right beside you, I just felt an awareness.
Every touch.
Every vibration.
Every breath.
I was aware of everything.
and Iiked it.

I liked it.
Every touch sent chills through out my body.
chilling my spine.
My mind.
My heart.

Every vibration vibrated my soul.
Vibrated my soul.
vibrated my very core.

Every breath cooled and warmed my neck.
Sent me to the wind.
Sent me to the sun..
And i liked it.

This might sound cliche or cheesy
or just plain wrong but i dont care.
I liked it.

I wait and wait for you wondering if you will ever come'
But this waiting is slowly becoming to much
My head tires as it plays images of us together
holding hands and laughing together
I still wait for you wondering if i should keep on waiting
Should i give up? SHould I throw in the towel and walk away?

No i shouldn't but yet i cant help feeling like you will never come.
Like you will never be able to search in your heart to love me
I close my eyes and see your face
Those eyes hypnotized me
and when we touched accidentally i could feel your soft skin
that sent a jolt throughout my body making my heart
beat like a drum a drum that beats for you

seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours and you still are not here at my side
This world is cruel and human feelings are cruel too
making us want something that cannot be taken for one's own
But you are not cruel, can never be cruel even if you never can bring yourself to love me

I love you with all my being, every fiber of it
Though i can't have you my love for you is like outer space
cause it is endless always going
I love you and wont be able to find myself another to love

I love you.
It's space, time, and all things infite.
You're an Sight, a scenic view
With every aspect of you I can never forget.
Like the sun in the sky
Or a candle with a dancing flame.
Like when the sun kisses the wings of a butterfly
Or when there's a glow in your name.

I love you.
You can see it when I hold you hand.
You can feel it with the kisses that are true.
I'll give each part of my heart and
every part of my soul to you.

I love you.

"I hate ******* gays"
Is this how you show your love?
I love you too, Mom

Can I clear my conscience,
If I'm different from the rest
If I told you what I was,
Would you turn your back on me?

I never said that I want this,
I don't ever wanna let you down
I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you

Don’t get too close
It’s dark inside
I've turned into a monster

It's woven in my soul
I'm just the same as I was
Now don't you understand
That I'm never changing who I am

pages rustling
I am immortal
my words will live on.
And they will hustle
every mind into portals
where thinking is drawn.
I am immortal.

Now I am waiting for that moment
When they find you dead.
"******* Great. Just ******* great"
-_-

The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance...
our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out of time.
When the first stone looked up at the blazing sun
and the first tree struggled up from the forest floor
I had always loved you more.
You freed your braids...
gave your hair to the breeze.
It hummed like a hive of honey bees.
I reached in the mass for the sweet honey comb there....
Mmmm...God how I love your hair.
You saw me bludgeoned by circumstance.
Lost, injured, hurt by chance.
I screamed to the heavens....loudly screamed....
Trying to change our nightmares into dreams...
The sun has come.
The mist has gone.
We see in the distance our long way home.
I was always yours to have.
You were always mine.
We have loved each other in and out
in and out
in and out
of time.

Her hand travels to my own with confidence and that confidence is boosted
When her hand fits like a glove
She looks at me sweetly and bats those green eyes and I smile back
But its a false smile

How long can this Charade last?
How long before I crack?
I don't know the answer so I keep playing

My heart beats for her, but not only for her
It beats for another who I cannot have
it bleeds for her but not only for her
The blood that trickles is for another

Broken In two instead of remianing intact
How can this be? How can this be?
How Can I be Inbetween?

One heart that beats is broken for two
A war wages inside my chest, I don't know what to do
A ruthless, ****** battle does go on
It's painful and hurtful which side has won?

Both present their own tastes that draw me
But only one can makes this heart complete
Nothing is the same and I can't decide
Not choosing could lead to my heart's demise

One is fire for my tongue, but sweetness follows after
The other more like milk chocolate that runs like pleasant laughter
One loses me in the two seas they carry and I would like to be lost and never found
The other morphs my imagination with bright colors like a skilled Crafter

If I fell in love with only one
This torment, this hurt would've never begun
I am stuck in the middle of my torn heart
This heart that beats for two shouldn't be torn apart

And we were treading the pavement with joyous steps
a building bellowed-it was a protest.
Ahead we were sister and I
When a woman charged up with black fire in her eyes.

"Go back to where you came from!"

the food was delicious but my mom's is better
the music was good it kept me dazed
but the fire in her eyes
and her strong opinionated words
has stuck with me to this day.

I try to write a poem
but it seems all my thoughts
got into cars and drove straight into each other
leaving pieces of words and letters
Scattered
to be salvaged.

I don't wanna lasso the moon for ya
I wanna lasso the infinite space.
The moon ain't gonna be in yo heart cause
Unlike the moon, space never goes t'waste.

And he held the universe in both hands
Balancing the solar system on his fingers.
The sun grew too hot and he tilted the scale.
If there was air on the palms of his hand
One would have heard the bellowing screeching
of the people muffled by the oceans.

The summer is packing it's bags
Slowly moving out.
Fall has already settled
Or has it?
Winter is just it's turn.
While Spring is enjoying it's vacation.

Do you remeber of the love we had?
Do you remeber of the kisss shared?
Of our hands searching for a hold on us?
Of our keep secret, no one knows, affair?
I do, for it was a love that was rare.
Do you remeber of how curious
We were, exploring every chance we got?
Filled with passion that could be dangerous.
They would say that our love was hideous,
that the lord above hates, In hell we'll rot
But we ignored everything that was said.
Do you remember how we loved alot?
Of how much we wanted to go and wed?
I do but now that love so rare is dead.

I don't know what happened but early this morning after drinking a monster and watching a movie I got hit by inspiration in result I wrote many poems a few a posted an hourish ago but I got more to post. It is weird that it strikes you like that.

My ears burn with anger in hearing “equality is only an abstraction”
I force composure when I’m told “equality is an aberration”
I am nauseated to the point of sickness with the plans of inaction
Sick to my soul with promises in line for retraction.

I refuse to eat from the plate of oppression
To feast and drink ‘long side omission.
I refuse to be reassured with chipped smiles of joker politicians
They try to avert my attention with juggling of short-term distractions.
While they exchange restrictions in under table transactions.


I refuse to eat from the plate of oppression
To feast and drink ‘long side omission.

In these woods
where light retreats and shadows move
along commonly and playfully
I found a young boy.

He stood by a small sluggish stream, striking insensibly at the stones with a childish grin
He than ran noisily, not minding his heavy feet
Crushing and crumbling, the dried dead leaves.

In these woods
where a breeze questions trees on where it's to go
and how it's to get there
I am an adolescent male

I had a hand placed on the bark of a tree
as I kept close my eyes
Listening intently to the words of nature
before I release  my needed independent sigh.

In these Woods
Where the oak observes what's below with wisdom
coursing through it's limbs
I saw an elderly man.

He sat on a rock ignoring the discomfort he felt. Laughing to himself he shook his head and rose. A breath he took letting the aromas of circulate inside his soul. He shook his head once more before exiting the woods.

In these woods,
Where the light
and shadows weave in out the leaves,
I found a boy.

And then I heard the wind
Treading lightly through the woods.
It spoke with a somber tone
"Leave with not an eye looking back."

My sanity, like sand, drained through my fingers
Into a puddle of lost perception.
I heard the cries of the rocks as they were chucked at his window
They were complaining of being moved from their homes.
I tasted the copper of my transgressions as he forced them into my stomach with a closed judgmental fist.
Earth held me up as I sunk into the ground with laughter
For he neglected to taint, to bully, my heart stained and shattered.
Moon, why must you tease the shadows with your translucent bony fingers?
Shadows, why must you retreat and find solace in solitude?
I'm alone and yet the wind whispers "You're not alone" as it runs its breath across the back of my neck.
The Earth on my skin soothes with lips soft and moist keeping me calm and collected.
My sanity, like sand, drained from the gaps of my fingers into a puddle of lost perception.

I saw the future and it was seeping with despair.
The women forever held there breaths as the children longed for death.
The men drunkenly gouged logic from everyone's head
Consumed The logic then fell, falling, dead.
And it continued for none of them cared.

I shouldn't care, I should move on with my life
And let my Heart protect itself from anymore pain
I should But I don't

I refuse to listen to the voice in my head
that tells me to run away and hide behind the walls that were already made
I should but I don't

I ignore the yield sign, completely block any view of the stop sign that pops up
It's telling me to not go any further, I should listen to the No Trespassing sign too
I should But I don't

I need to forget you, forget those eyes that take me to the sea
I need to forget those hands and stop wishing they would hold me
I need to forget all the problems you make for yourself
I need to forget and find someone else

I should But I don't

Dear you,

I miss you and as I am sitting here typing away my feelings like letting water flow I realize what I should have done. I should I have wrapped my arms around you though you would have protested and told you that things were going to be okay even if I didnt know what I was saying.
I should have never placed barriers between us to protect you because you were trying to climb over, well it seemed as if you were. All these should haves cloud my mind and whenever I think it over I begin to have the feeling of sadness as it grows. Each Should have feeds it and it grows taller and sadder.
I should have kissed you, ignoring the consequences that would be sure to follow.
I should have held your hand longer and Should have spoken to you more.
I shouldnt have lied and said that the candy was just for friends
I should have never say okay because it wasnt okay that I was being Second Choice.
I should have stood my ground and told you that I really like you and that me being some hand me down, some black market brand of clothing wouldnt do.
God, I miss you.
And the ways about you.
Your happiness when it leaked out.
Your smile when it broke through
Even you anger and your stupidity.
I miss all of that.
You were the best thing that happened to me but not because we were ever together because we never were but because everything I did was proof that I cared about you.
Now I am left with fragments of hopes and dreams always blurred with disire.
Anthony Taylor Triplett, A danger to say your name,
I still want you
I should give up I should stop with this wanting and this longing
Because It will never be. But I have never been one to look on the datk side of things.
I cling on to the notion that we will be togehther like a piece of lint refusing to let go of cloth.

I will close with this.

XOXO

Wine pools, trickles into the water.
The stench of cooper is strong.

It might seem impossible
but I have felt the corners of my mind folding towards one another.
my Malleable mind then felt the edge of my skull and I thought I felt it ooze through some pores.
It came back down with a deafening roar and I held my eyes shut.
I can't be here anymore
I need to get away.

It came in the night.
Took its place right next to me.
I could feel the warmth it gave me
But
there was something odd about the warmth
Under the bundles of warmth  
There was a coldness.

Mother wipes the sweat
From her forehead with her forearm.
In her fist are pine needles she must spread around a tree
As if she were wrapping a towel over her wet child.

Father rubs his palms against his jeans
As he examines the garden bed for weeds.
He spots one and digs his fingers ‘till he feels the roots.
He pulls as if he were plucking lint off his child’s clothes.

And then death held his hand.
Wiping the tears that told the stories of his pain.
He couldn't handle the cold temperature he would feel not only on his shoulders but in his soul.
He tried to maintain peace but the war drums were setting the bombs off one by one.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
When at home, at school he is surrounded by other human beings but he always feels alone, feels the emptiness in his body.
He's the tin man with no heart that rattles his frame to at least fell something even if  it's cold harsh metal.
Death listened.
Death took it's cloak and wiped the tears away, letting the cloak soak up all the problems.
"you want to walk beside me with your life folded neatly in your suit case. you want to walk out the door but it's not your time, have more faith"
With that death left taking his arms and absorbing all the darkness, letting the boy stand with a new light surrounding him.
"it's not your time"

I wake up form my nap and look at the window
And What do I see before me
A white blanket covering the ground
Powdered sugar on My part of the Funnel cake

No school in the morning, No teacher lingo
A feeling of excitement THis was kind of forseen
I go outside and feel the air and the snow rests on my head like a crown
The impulse now is a snowman I should make

SNOW, SNOW IT"S SNOWING
LET ALL HEAR, LET ALL ENJOY
THAT IT IS SNOWING

Dreams are the royal road to the unconscious.
--Sigmund Freud*

She slams the door.
Refuses to open it.
My fists makes contact,
over, over, over again,
harder, harder, harder again.
"I just wanted you tell me
that everything will be okay.
That's all I ever wanted."*
She remained silent.

I want to be free
Free from all the feelings that circle me
Becasue right now they are overwhelming
I want to be free

I want to run forever
Because running gives me strength
It lets me escape what I don't want to hear
I want to run forever

I want to be single
Cause being alone is no longer scary
For I am an Independent person
I want to be single

I want to be free
I want to run forever
And I want to be single

Because of society
I want to be a real boy.

My masculinity needs
to be measured by the grass stains on my white t-shirt
and my ability to flirt through phone numbers
like checking the items off my "to do" list.

Because of society
I want to be a real boy

My ability to love needs
to be measured by how often love comes and goes
Through the night at a price
And how often I can sneak back into to bed beside her
And she not even know.

Because of Society
I can't be a real boy

Yeah I'll Tell you something
But my tongue is too busy twisting and turning
I think you'll understand
Can you comprehend what i would say
when I say that something
my eyes would avert their attention to anything but your face
I want to hold you hand*

The Beatles song would only be in my head
never reality.

I will be there to pick up the pieces
When you are pushed to the ground
and Shatter

I will be there to give the hugs and kisses
When there is no one around
For you matter

I will be there

Man, I wish I had a gun to shoot all the ballons that carry you away from me
I wish I had an axe to cut away the ropes that bound you so you can be with me
I wish I could **** all the ones who prevent you from being with me
but you know you too would die

So I only wish that you will have a change of heart and choose me
Cause Right now I am losing my mind with all the wondering
Words that want to come out just dance in my head making it throb
I wish to hold your hand
I wish to kiss those lips
I wish to feel your skin against mine
I wish to make love to you
But all the wishes are stuck in my head
Man, I do wish

Jack Frost nibbles on my ears, on my fingers, on my nose
I sheepishly cover what I can except my nose.
He gets angry, cold even, and resorts to chewing and gnawing what's exposed.

I can't keep on with him trying to harm me. I must hide.
There is a room to which I walk in so I can hide.
But Jack the stealthy being seep through the cracks, made it inside.

There is no where to run.

He creeps closer, closer still and as his presence becomes more evident my body beings to shake.
But not in fear, for I have no fear of Mr.Frost, but because he has that effect on everybody.
His mere presence can induce anybody's body to shiver in his wake.
He makes you want to cover yourself with the clothes on your back to protect yourself from his bitter iciness.

That is  Jack Frost's job.

And we past each other in wal-mart
well more he bumped into me when I rounded the corner.
I was with my mother
He was his mother.
that instant I saw him , hell I was heels over head, shoot me I'm dead
Him, me, bed, but to my mom he was just a friend.

"Um, Hey mark"
Hey mark? Is his ***** tangled into knots or was there something I forgot?
Oh yeah.....the closet.
"errr Derek how your project?"
"good"
"good"

but in those 10 seconds
i felt them hands
his mountain hands hike through my hair
I felt those thirsty lips lap up every nail from the closet door.
I heard him say I love you

But that was a week ago
Now it's a week later
the present

to his mother
to My mother
we are just friends

Arms around
Heat increasing
Drew Closer
Breaths merge becoming one
Lips touch
The world disappears
....
The world reappears
Lips Separate
Breathing is now two
Grow apart
Arms to the side
It was just a kiss

In my dreams, I still feel, hear, and see you.

You are just barely there, barely in my longing dreams.

And just when I feel your arms around my body

When I feel the fire buring in my wanting soul.

When I want nothing more than just to hold you

I wake up and you becoming just another longing dream.

Never teach people about democracy only to cast aside their voices.

I am who I am
I like what I like
I believe what I believe
I shouldn't be embarrassed 'bout it
The ones who criticize before looking at their selves
are the ones who should be embarrassed.

Under
    The Scope
        Like a Brown scrawny escapeless  tiny

        Bug
-__-

I lied to you not because I wanted to deceive you but because I couldn't let you see how torn my heart was.
It only showed up today because yesterday I was in shock.
The bomb was thrown as y'all walked on by and I just shut down only going through motions that weren't even thought of.
Today I was to put it bluntly ******.
****** at you
at her
At myself.

And your hugs,
My talking to you,
my trying to impress you,
you walk back to her side
didn't help

No
It didn't help

A simple kiss on the cheek
Could make everything
better.

Just one little kiss
Just a simple peck
Could make me feel
Better.

A simple kiss could take what I feel
Morph it from fantasy to reality.

Just one
Simple
Little
Kiss.

Sometimes I can't help but to think
If you are writing poems about me
Like I write poems about you.