I never meant to hurt ya
Or bruise you with my words.
I never meant to hurt ya
Just wanted to be heard.

Too much time spent in the back seat
For me to sit and go for the ride.
Too much time spent in the back seat
So just wanted to be heard,
this one time.

And I probably end up in a crash
all bruised and battered
But I swear I've been on track
I just wanted to be heard.

When I close my eyes
I see you hazily
like when I take my glasses off
and only can make the general shape of things.
but when I open them
I see you perfectly
Like you are right up in my line of sight
and can see every detail clearly

I don't know which one is better
Only being able to see the good in you
or being able to enjoy the view but having to see everything that makes you

“I want to kiss you right now”
I said.
He let his phone slip into his pocket
And he reached for my hand.
He pulled me in close and I could
Smell the cologne.
A hint of Old Spice clouded my judgment
Sent my all questions to the back
Of my mind. His lips found mine
And for a split second
I died.
My heart could not function
Properly causing a sensation
Of peace to surround me.
“Oh ****”
I said.
My lips tasted love’s sweetness
Then
We pulled apart.
I
Wanted more.
He wanted more.
We both wanted more.
My face could not
Contain my smile
And he smiled back.
Kissing him
Kissing me
Kissing.

The last thing That I do
Will be the last thing for you
No more helping, No more trying
No more anything,
I am through

The last thing That I do
Will be the last thing for you
No more wishing, no more thinking
No more anything,
What was felt just done and flew

Helping you
This one last time
Is last thing that I do
For you

Feeling lost, in this self made ocean
I can't keep control of my emotions
They just leak out through my holey pores
And I am even leaking from my core.
I don't know how to stop them anymore.

I want you
and I want to date you.  
That's all that needs to be said
Straight to the point
No more games
No more tricks

After the period I am gone
Well that's what they told me to do
To leave you hanging
To leave you thinking
But should I add more to the plate?

This was going to be said but then you said something on that Monday  
This was in the back of my mind when you told me something later on
This has always been there even when you said you weren’t like that anymore
Even when you showed me the girls you liked
It has always been there

So I will say this even though I might be adding more to the plate
even if It is going to confuse you more
Even if I will be given hell from everyone
Even if you don’t want to talk to me anymore
Cause it needs to be known
It wanted to be told since the very beginning

I want you and I want to date you.
Now, I am leaving after the period

"If life gives you lemons make lemonade"
Okay understandable. but what if life gave me limes.
Do I throw it back and expect a lemon in return?
Or Do I try my best to make lemonade with limes?

And let your arms catch me before I fall.
Let your name drip from my lips.
Let me become just another one who doesn't need you.
and let me fall and fall again.

Just let me
                          
                       G
                              O

Just let me

                       F
                            A
                                    L
                                    L

Just let me Feel
                              
             F
                 R
                    E
                       E

Is it wrong to love when you are with her?
Am I in the wrong to say you I prefer?
If I am in the wrong then don't right me.
Just let me hold on to this fantasy.

I forgive you even after all the wrong you've done
My heartstrings you play,you pluck, and sometimes strum.
Creating a song within me, a song just for us
A song played to feed the romantic lust.

Don't leave my heart hanging on the line after dried
Pull it into the safety of your heart with pride
If I am in the wrong then don't right me
Just let me hold onto this fantasy.

Let me think.

I enter my thoughts and this is unsettling
Not because of what I might think but because it's like taking a boat into a storm, directly into a storm
with the "yes" and "no" 's pelting you.

The words that induce the feeling of being less than inferior are also the words I like to hear.
The way are spoken, as if I am less than inferior makes my eye twitch buy makes my mouth likewise.

Let me think.

The clouds are mounting on top each other as if they are trying to show who is the better cloud, cloudy the sky turning it gray.

The way words fall and into my ears is not a way I would chose and yet it still intrigues me just a bit.
The words that are exchanged are like hearted. Meant to be fun but then again are they really?

Let me think.

The sky declares that a race of water should be held. And race they do. Falling quickly.

Choices are needed to be made.
Choices indeed.
Let me think.
I need a moment to think.

Take your heart and let it whisper to mine.
Let them both have a conversation only we could translate.
Let them both write endless poetry but only the ones written with our love.
Let them laugh,
Let them cry,
Let them be together.
Take your heart and let it whisper to mine.

Dear Ex,

I have inhaled a thousand doubts
Exhaled a thousand pains
But through the course of my existence
Felt I never, a love quite the same.

Around me the air settles
As if it were
dust on weathered tattered discarded books
But it churns in whispered conversation
At the mere mention of your name.

The sheets of the bed are stained
With dried memories collected.
I haven't the heart to discard
in the hamper,
Later to evict them.


The car rides have homed silence
Who speaks more than I.
It strains my voice and my heart
To utter words, so all together
We utter sighs.

I haven't grown use to those final "Goodbyes"
It has always been "Talk to you later"
And "Until Next Time"
But now,

Now through my course of existing
I inhale doubts
and exhale pain.

An Emotionally distraught broken man,

Your Ex.

P.S
I have yet to experience a love equivalently the same.

Dear Heart,

You must be exhausted with all the emotions swelling in our veins,
exhausted with the rough rhythmic running, reaching no end,
so I lift my head from the pillow.

It’s yours for the night.

Don’t bother with the curtain; I will draw it to a close.  
Don’t fret over his voice; Silence he will be told.

Heart, Why must you rise and rummage through our memories?

Come now, rest.

Your companion,

Francisco D.H

Dear Self,

And you told yourself
to despise those moments lost
To confine them into an abyss
Hopeful that you never will remember again.

You told yourself
"  Cherish the brokenness for a life in longing is torture and a life in solitude is bliss."
But you know the truth.

You told yourself
To hold onto the pebbles of reality
in hopes the rough edges will reopen your wounds
to remind you of the gravel you were force to consume.

You told yourself,
"Be like the air rising, for it never falls onto the lips of fantasy"
But you know you are the leaf falling.

You told yourself
but a self has a way of lying to itself.

Sincerely,
Francisco D.H

Dear Time,  

A moment ago
I envied your words you spoke
For your words were more valued then mine.
You had a way of communicating
Pressing slightly until you persuaded
For departure while I
I, waved a final goodbye.
But what is final anymore?
The end is no longer the end
if the heart continues to beat in the afterlife.
I envied your words you spoke
A moment ago
For you were closer
than I
could ever be...

Dear __,

And it's not the same anymore...my sentences once strong and fluent in confidence weaken and linger with those haunting ellipses...they hang over my head like a neon sign...a neon sign flickering at only half the...and i once believed our lives would be a double helix...you entwined to my being and i yours...but now...

Sincerely,

Francisco D.H

Dear God,

When you were making love to the idea of
Creating man, did the ******  break?
Thus letting little Steves run amok
inside the ****** of the world

Do you acknowledge their existence but since you already made it clear "effeminates" won't inherit the kingdom you refuse to pay child support?

Or

Do you await the day when
the world will shut the hell up with her constant
attacks, shaming Steves into thoughts of "must change to please my father" so you can hold them one good time and tell 'em " I don't give a rat's *** what your mama says"
Your My flesh and blood
I love you

Sincerely
A Steve

Dear Humanity,

I want you to look into your enemies and hold their breath in your lungs for one minute and in that minute watch y'alls ideas which were clashing like two stags fighting for the right of the land, halt abruptly.  In that minute I want you to acknowledge that beyond that barrier which you created when you heard the words " I disagree", is a soul who probably felt the calloused hand of life. Perhaps your enemy went to sleep with dried hands after washing dishes for the ******* Last time only to rise at the tolling of the alarm clock, it says Get Ready for School.  In that minute I want you to acknowledge that beyond the wired fence that sends electricity through their bodies when ever they approach, is a soul who might have had to endure the pang of hunger so siblings could do with something, anything so electricity is nothing In that minute, I want you to acknowledge how it feels to hold their breath.
Exhale.

Sincerely,

__

Letter: To Lone Child

The rivers seem to never stop
There’s a storm a churnin in your heart
And all you have left is your self

Your falling down can’t get up
always thristin with a broken cup
And all you have left is yourself

No, matter what you try to say
You fellow man turns away
They won’t listen to what they don’t understand
But I am here so talk to me.


Wipe the tears slip into night
Follow the internal light
And you’ll see that it’s alright

Rise from your former ash
Resist the urge to look back
Because kid it’s going to be alright


No matter what you try to say
You fellow man turns away
They won’t listen to what they don’t understand
But I am here so talk to me.

Time plays a complex hand
It ponders ‘fore exposing stance
But kid it’s going to be alright.

Dear                                                                                 Poets,

Poetry is our home
Be not bashful to let it go
Poetry is our home.

Society's expectations are not to set foot for they will be our guest who will
                                                                                                                   Never leave.


be not bashful
  
P                 I
O                 S
E
T
R
Y                                                    OUR

HOME

Dear Writers,

Water the page with thoughts and observe the roses which root and flourish.

Let yourself feel the music
The somber tone that  swells and dwells in your heart.
Let in drown you in beats that vibrate the walls.

When you feel this music just let it take over.
Don't be afraid to sway with it.
Dance with it.
Sing with it.

Let it take over.

Tear here, and tear there
Rip here, rip there
Keep going until you can't
Then throw those lies down the drain

Cry here, and cry there
Sniffle here and sniffle there
Just wipe the tears till you dry
He can't cause no more pain

Smile here, and smile there
Laugh here and laugh there
Keep on going don't look back
You are done with that game

You are done with the lies
and watch them as the go down the drain

Turn the faucet on and let the water do its job.
Let the water swirl and spin
Let it drag all those lies down.
Let it drown it and never come up to breathe.

Life seems dull when ever i remember you

Life seems a bit less bearable whenever i think of you

Life in general gets more difficult whenever a thought of you flashes before me

I need to stop thinking of you
I need to stop
cause i need to get on with my life.

I tried and tried to make you love me
But each time I fell on through
For a moment you made me believe
That I can make this dream come true

With that Dashing smile and those picercing Blue eyes
You had me for awhile
Actuallly since the first time I saw you
For a moment You had me thinking that you were all mine

But Reality, hit me, That cruel friend
To make me see that I can't have you
So, I know my love for you is at an end
No more wanting you
No more dreaming of you
Becasue I can not have you

You can't turn me on to warm up the room so you can feel the warmth inside

Neither can you turn me off so the room can be engulfed in darkness. So you can go find another room to light up.

I am not some light switch that can be toyed with by your child-like hands to keep your child-like mind entertained.

No, i am not a light switch.

I am either a light that stays on forever for you cause i am the only light you need.

Or i am nothing at all. The one lightbulb the needs fixing. The one light for someone other than you.

Cause i am no light switch.

I am no light switch you can turn on and off

ON  
To feel the warmth inside your could damp heart
To brighten up the room so you can place your things ever so neatly inside my heart

OFF
When the heat becomes too much for you
When you need to flee to another room to turn that light on

ON
When you need to heat the sweet words that fall from my sore lips
When you need me to illuminate your day cause you had a bad day

OFF
To make sure you keep the price of the light low
Cause you don't want to invest too much in this "love"
To evade the light cause you see that I deserve more than this

I am tired of your child like hands turning me on and off
to entertain your child like mind
This light bulb is growing weak and I am growing tired of changing the bulb constantly

I think soon I will tear the switch from the wall and cut the wires and just leave
I hate this light switch between you and me

Like the dying flower
I feel myself wasting away

Like the dying flower
I feel the love for you dwindling to nothing

Like the dying flower
I ****** but no rain will come my way

Soon it became a habit, a habit I could not kick, like being addicted to cigarettes

Listen

Listen to what I am saying
I love you

Did you hear me?
Were the words clear?
I love you

I know I said I didn't care and that I was done
But those were phibs, lies I told myself
Like a child telling themself that Santa is real and they ignore that they saw they's parents
Putting the presents under the tree

I love you no matter what they think of you
No matter what you do
I will always love you

I was sad, angry with you
For what you did, trying to push me away in the most unacceptable way
I know you might have done it unintentional
But I forgive you

I can't stay mad at you
I love you


Listen
Listen to what I have said
These words are true and they will remain true
as long as I have a heart to feel the love

I became a shredded piece of paper
Scattered among your piles.
You were my unruly neighbor
Always a bit hostile.

I lost myself in thoughts  of "forever Love"
Until it became too dark to see.
You held me down with thrusting shoves
On my last breathe "you never loved me."

When we inhale denial
We exhale ecstasy.
But living in denial
ain't the way to be.
We can ride that ship of fantasy
We hold them close in our dreams
But living in denial
ain't the way to be.


I tell myself I'm over it
burn them letters that you wrote.
But one is never over it
when one hangs on every note.



When we inhale denial
We exhale ecstasy.
But living in denial
ain't the way to be.
We can ride that ship of fantasy
We hold them close in our dreams
But living in denial
ain't the way to be.

They don't know, they really don't know
That beside this heart in so much pain
,in so much pain that the blood leaks instead of flowing,
Is a loaded gun.
Ready at any moment
at any given moment
To release a blessing
A gift
to them from me.

It was strange, that yellow star was sharp and yet it was still blurred.

Sitting back watching the trees move when the wind moves
I look back to yesterday.

Those moments of the past now become my present
as my head is shown fragments.

There goes my friend from long ago smiling like a fool
but only smiling because I smiled like a fool too.

There goes the tears salting the blanket
as I hear the screams of my mother and sister.

There he goes walking trying to fit in with the crowd
when I know he would fit in with me at my side.

There she goes on with her pretty face smiling and laughing but knowing we may
never see each other again.

There I go looking forward watching myself as I look back to yesterday.

The sun greets me though his presence was already known.
I look out the window and feel him trying to get my attention but I dare not look.
There is a tree, a young sapling,  bowing down or at least acknowledging his superior.
Black feathers occupy a small are of the window and I am greeted with a quiet hello, but it sounded as if someone was waring about some car.
Then the feathers seem to disappear.

The watchers of the world below drift on by, some content with the state of the world others not so much.
I close the curtain. There is more to see later, just not at the moment. Perhaps when I have time to spare  I will check what's outside again.

Balanced Doubt nursed your mistake
Leaving you with no more faith
as you looked in the mirror.

You went 'round trying to fake
But in the end you had to rake
All the pieces of your broken self.

Looking up I see railings
Crossing and blurring together as one
My neck hurts now.

Lose your soul
to the notes
that will never be heard
for they are never to be written down.

I am lost in words that were never said
They keep me warm as I lie on my bed.
I am lost in arms that are not there
But I must not look For I cannot bare
Him not being there.
I am lost in eyes that I've miss read.
Their waves rock me to sleep in my head.
I am lost in his voice but it's just empty air
To make a sound I must not dare
For it provides the proof that he is not there.

What happens when you lose your inspiration?
You make things up
You look at nature and try to capture the beauty she let's us see
with words.
You look at others and try to write down their lies and truths
you look at art and try to match the curves and emotion with your own art.
you write until something or someone new inspirses you.

Life forever, life together
Other is significant
Very beautiful on the inside
Every time feels like the first time

Let's stay this way
Old shirt on the floor with the Axe Colonge lingering in my nostril
Visit my hair with your fingertips
Eventually give me a gentle kiss

Look into my eyes
Oh How I love looking into yours
Visit my arms and I yours
Eventually We fall asleep

Lose your thoughts of the outside world
Only me and you is needed
Visualize just you and me
Eventually the love between is greater than all

Let’s stay this way.
Old white t-shirt stained with grass on the floor while axe cologne lingers in my nostrils.
Visit my hair with your fingertips, let not one strand be neglected for then I shall be neglected.
Eventually, place your hand on my cheek to steady your lips as you gently kiss me.

Look into my eyes.
Oh! How I love looking into the oceans you carry; my soul ventures with the intent of being lost.
Visit, I will visit and mark every island with a whispered “I love you”.
Eventually, after much elapsed cradling of waves I will let myself be found.

Let your thoughts of the outside world jump the tracks, fall into a river, and drown.
Only, snag the thoughts of you and me from falling into forgetfulness.
Visit my arms and I will become gravity, holding you to my chest as you listen to our heart.
Eventually, let’s give ourselves to weariness as we listen to our heart.

I would dismiss it
If love were to show its face.
I have mastered solitude
With dexterous skill.  

Bothersome its not
For I rather have silence
Than hear the groans of my heart
Echo forever.

The love flows with ease
As he wraps his arms round me.
It's as if it was ordained
By nature herself.

We speak the language
With tongues that taste the love as
It rolls off our lips.

Never have I felt
high such as this but with him
Forever cloud nine.