I night dream, I day-dream
Falling everyday
As the distance calls for me
I'm trying to cling for growth
Yet , I'm searching for my obituary  
I memorized the words
A flower face with electric taste
Tiny shadow with a fierce force

Eating the night away
With Jack on my tongue  I forget my name  
Needles,patches and antipsychotics
On this exotic edge of my release  
My waist has never been thin
My ribs have never been a bird bath
I'm to hungry to stay alive
This hollow patched affair
The shape of  anxiety drowns me
Forcing all the air from my lungs
Lost  lovers and forgotten friends
Suddenly appear
Tasting my words like never before
Death is contagious
As everyone sits in the shadows  
I'm surrendering to the ghosts
I have made love to razor blades
Had affairs with whiskey and pills
Have danced over lines I said I would never cross

The rain came and washed it away
All, including the shame
Pieces of you that I can’t claim
The rain came and led me through
Into the night where I did not have a fight
Nothing left to offer
I carry this burden that feels like steel
When our fingertips met I could feel something real
You may think that I don’t see
But were one step away
I have drained all that I use to be
Now I don’t want to feel
I go to the side of the river
Kicking my feet in the pain
I don’t belong
Whispers that come alive
Slip inside this mind of mine

Lonely hallowed summer
A song over the river
This quiet world of mine beholds the wind
Thriving like vines I could climb
Poetry seeds the winter season
As I wander and wither through sacred earth
The lonely intuition through the peace season
A gentle loves thrives beneath the dark
Leaving me with a thirst

Using the bailer to unload my anguish
Like when I was a small child
As the warm shore roughly views the mainland
Where I'd  sail free
Having to use the compass to find my way
I aboard yet I'm drifting away
I see a moon I don't recognize
The curves of the waves seem to fall apart
Running from the ship
Enduring my  pain

**** it ******* gone, eyes ******

My mind holds me at bay  
Crawling off this planet
I can't see in the dark
I will still love you as a ghost

Ancient spirits, whispering into the wind
Angels staggering, claiming sorrows
Burning winds stroke the willow trees
Illusions of Galaxies concrete flaws
Blinded birds hatching sunsets
Bones of disease devoured and shamed

I bleed all my blood for you
It spills the contents of my need
The longing to  have you hold  me
When your near
Naive and incomplete
I swallow my humanity
Beg for your touch
Kiss me lingering your fingers on my breast
Starving for you to enter me
Slowly I weep into the shadows of hunger
Exposed unaware with no sense of pride

Can we be free?
Have unity
No war just peace
Accept others for who they are
Let everyone be real
Hold hands in church with the person next to you
Watch children grow,  teach them morals and beliefs  
Let them  become the future we need
So we could be proud
Educate one another about our backgrounds
Be proud of our color
Not to be ashamed of our mothers
Love and embrace
Let everyone have a chance to be strong
Go visit lost souls
The older man down the road who just lost his wife
Lost his essence, lost his soul
Volunteer your time to help someone in need
Be kind and be true
One day we will all leave this earth
And reside in a home together
Why not get along now
Lets recover

Falling into a nest, that don't feel like home
I'm going to jump
I will not arise

Essence drowns my flesh
I felt the wind blow
The days weren’t mine
I would run out of my mind
Another night to dread
Yet I’m alive
But  I cant make it to far
I have some how lost my way
I once was naïve
But the past clutch’s me refusing to release
I pray on my knees the beads among my fingers
I start to bleed
Begging for deliverance  praying for me
Why so lost ? Yet not found
I don’t even recognize a sound
Could I just go and have my sins washed away ?
I just want to breathe out then in
I want to forget
That sorrow destroys all that I am
Should I stay silent to protect him?
But I desire in the middle of the night
A man to touch me until all is forgot
Heaven is fantasized
Once delicate nothing left for me
Strength you acquire when you need  
The time is limited when you grieve

Delicious peace decays the need
Surrounding life looking through the night
Young porcelain heart afraid to break
Time has no universe for me
The sky is the secret for us to keep

The fear inside shakes me
Tormenting me
With it's cold touch
Twisting my soul
And tearing my love
Hiding underneath my blouse
Caressing my trembling raw and ****** bones

The music child tasting the sound
Tucking myself into this moment
As Jupiter lies under my bed
A slender moon brushes my cheek
Pine cone fingers made of blood root sap
Lace fireflies collect their thoughts in the silver maple trees

Gulp on rain little bird
Swallow
Enfold your breath of life
Rise to your  prayers
Let love fill your  heart
Savor your soul

Addicted to the memory of you
Telling secrets, hiding them in my lungs
Breathing tides of our love
As my teeth drink the moon
My emotional journey makes me a dreamer
A gypsy soul rations my will
Drinking the universe,  one with nature
Bare feet taken in the earths soil
A desire for freedom

I keep my head down and my mouth shut
You speak only when spoken to , I have nothing to say
I cleared the table and head into my room I fall asleep
I hear him approach the bed
I'm so warm, my blanket is soft
His eyes are gray with a hint of green, cinnamon colored hair
I have memorized the top of his head ,every crease every hair
His face is thin, I think he is tired
He smells musty , but he always taste sweet
I hate him but I don't want him to leave
As he takes off his pants he places my hand on his man spot
I was so unsure what to do with it
  I'm getting better he is a good teacher
I roll it between my fingers it's warm and growing
It always wants a kiss my mouth is small I do my best
His hands hold my head tight it hurts
I get so confused when he makes these sounds. He sound's so angry. When he is done he leaves me for the night
I lie rubbing myself against the pillow Confused to why do I feel like this?
My heart beats so fast and I wonder if Daddy will be back?
He is a good dad we go outside and play
He has taught me how to write and read he is so proud of me
I'm special and I get special treats
I set the table where having company
I have a new dress and feel so cute
The woman of the house since mom passed away
It's  hard to remember  the rules I don't like him ,mad, my bones hurt when bruised
Don't eat until Fathers sitting down at the table that is one not to forget As we all sit down to eat, I clench my tiny hands hiding my secrets  under there

Plunging to the ground
Floating no device
Speaking without sound's

The dust on the floor
Stepped on and ignored
In a pile by the front door
Tracked around and stomped on and  forgotten
I feel helpless and weak
Not sure if I know what I’m doing here anymore
My story has been much to deep
I have sank to the core
The past I had is gone afar
Happiness I once knew
Took off and flew
Like a bird spreading its wings
Flying through the air with no need
Careless and carefree
Able to love whom ever it may need

Sea salt hair with windchime charms
Fireworks in my chest the solar system in my  hip pocket flap
Tobacoo coat stained green with stones from my throat
A daughter of the North with toothpick heels
Sunken ships and bruised lips as I curse your name
Scar you with my thoughts
Regurgitate our  indifferences in this Melancholy sea
Stardust loveless and lost
I weaponize your words

I stuff you inside
Tasting and purging on your taste
Shoving down words that I never knew
I try and get further from you
But I come back again
My belly thrives because of you
Stripes that began to appear
When I see them I feel you
You are the trigger I don't need
The trouble I can't explain

Pitifully shuffling into a pointless destination
Trembling limbs stained grey from old habits
My purpose of life is decaying, following a map with no lines
Speaking with  liquid eyes, unable to face  the truth
These walls are so bare, our bed is stamped with your smell
Sleep has become minuscule and when it does come the dreams rattle me so
I'm lacking oxygen and I could give a ****
The smell of jasmine will not escape my nose
Everyday is a scar and you're just a ghost  that haunts my spirit
I'm back to my bottom shelf selection
You're cordially invited to my scrutinize my demise

Beside hope we must remember
The sweet promises we once believed
The language of this universe soars through a thousand dreams
Together the morning light finds its home
We try and unite and for a second its pure delight
A tiny voice that imagines emotions
A sacred sound that belongs
We become a prisoner in the depths of our core
Yearning for youth and so much more
Haunted by a broken eternity
Concrete secrets that slay the joy

Dandelion hair
Firebird eyes
Angel limbs
Barefoot in my wedding cake
Holding on to make-believe

My hips sweep against your body so light
Tracing the contour of your face
I don’t want to waste time
Let's make this right
My sweet full lips travel to another land
It’s foreign to me but it seems so right
My hands linger in between
I beg and I need
May I borrow your body?
What about your mind?
Can I make it mine?
Drink it up wrap it around a vine
Intertwine our minds let them love
Shall we never be unkind

Follow me to the seaside
We can gulp the ocean air
Weave fireflies in my hair, so I can finally shine

Spiny trees dissect the doctrine
Yellowed skulls howling
Graying cheekbones shimmer
Stale jars of smoke gurgling
Pock marked bird skin gasping
Lips of sea grass soiled
Palettes of black and blue astray

I want to mind paint
although my insanity ink is dry

On your bicycle you ride
Through seasons of flowers and seeds
Flying into the universe so high
With trees passing by
I may be experiencing a delusion
But for a minute
Let it be real

A flea market ring set my heart ablaze
Twisting around my finger like a hurricane
**** preaching to my childhood
Writing grocery lists on my hand
Leaving red kisses on long cigarettes
Playing a mouth harp listening to Simon and Garfunkel
Living by the words and touched the sound of silence myself
A love affair with the sky
I didn't  fathom mourning
It was a journey of my own

Come here
Come here often?
Sometimes whiskey on your breathe
The damage you have done can't be fixed
Come here often black and blue?
Remember all the moments
The ones I was scared to tell you
Broken hearts don't mean a thing
It's when my blue eyes are blackened from you
Angry so much
Destroys our life
A bottle at your mouth don't make it right
The next morning things are not what they seem
Its easy to place the blame on me
The pills that mess up your head
Go see your shrink I think your unstable
Why do you push me so?
Go ahead and leave if not I will
The gunshots that rang so loud in my head
That's the moment I should of ran
Instead I stay and play the games
Fixing up something so broken
What was wrong with me?
Nothing anymore
Freedom is in my soul
Heals all my wounds
As I let it all go
No more broken furniture or broken things
I was giving the strength to grow the wings
As I fly into a world I never knew
It surprises me what has happened to you

My tears are becoming a sea just for me
I can gather them place them in my heart
Watch them cause a wave so large that its exposes my heart
I often wonder if anyone can see them perhaps just me
These words I whisper that sit on my tongue
Are they just here to stay?
When I close my eyes for the very last time
Will I be alone?  This I may deny
My eyes lids will flood with just one kiss
Where stars fall and meet the earth
Your skin will be my flight
I will dive into the clouds
Radiate the sun
Beams of hope will impress me so
The water will still flow
In circles I shall run
With your funeral suit and everyone gathered around
Slit the wrists with everyone
Conform to all the beliefs that you don’t even know
People will stand and speculate
But all along I just laughed