I shall stand beside you

I will honor you

Let you have a voice

Let you speak your mind telling stories of when you were 9

Your golden hair is so pretty and pure

I lost myself in the blue of your eyes

I have no self control when it comes to you

I hold our baby son he is all you

My insides weep for the day that we found out

You may die

Gathering the strength we had and moved forward

I didnt think it would last that maybe it would go away

I watch you everynight as your weary head hangs low

Amazing your still so strong

I cant let you go you belong with me

What to do if you leave

I'll have no purpose or no cause

I just want to spend my days with you

I bring you daisys your favorite flower

You smile at me like no other

Your hands are feeble you try and hold our son

He is getting to be to much for you

He just started to run

I know that you are ready

This seems like a lie

Maybe someone isnt telling the truth

There is a cure and it could work for you

Years of memories

I stand beside you as you close your eyes saying your goodbyes

One day I will be with you again

I'll love you until the end

I will honor who you are and tell our son about his mom

I cant even look at him without feeling sad

I will try and be the best dad

I stand beside you even after your gone

Loving you so much

Missing your touch

When the angel wings touch you as you fly with them

I will know that your safe

You dont hurt there is no more disease

Just a little girl about 9 or so

Playing in the fields

Letting the daisys tickle her toes

I shall love you

So I will let you go

In the depth of the night

In the still of the shadows

I yearn for your touch

The smell of your musky skin

Through tiny sacred touch

You tantalize me

Like wind through morning skies

Fresh clouds embrace me

We gaze with hunger

We dance in depth

Where beauty lingers

A sad soul listens

Entwine drink my skin

Worship my flesh with your warm lips

Use rhythm and fly

Just fly away

We sit in the car
I'm so pretty dressed in yellow
Going to see grandma
The exictement  I can't contain
I try and look out the window
I'm nervous I wring my hands
My new outfit is getting wrinkled
I want to look my best
Look through the books that I brought
Nothing holds my attention it seems
Mom is quiet
Dad is mad
I hate when they fight
Mom speaks
Yellow turns to red
Is this love?
The car spins around fast as can be
I know that grandma is anticipating our arrival
Poor mom her face is covered in red
I don't like that color
It makes me sick

May I scream ?

So gently yet  mean ?

May I go  crazy?

May I harm something like my own heart?

Or may I just shout and pout ?

May I cry tears of anger and years of doubt?

It would flood this town

I hate to be hurt

Should I go to the hospital or take all my pills?

May I holler from the rooftops my heart is on fire?

I look at me making me unsure

Maybe I should recover?

Maybe I should come back to you?

I have nothing

I sit here searching for words

Poetic thought's invade me

Smoke filled cofee house's

I stand with the open mic

I shall talk loud and proud

For all it's worth

Tonight is my night

Melodies weaving tragedies on tightrope bones
As I  cross the scar tissue bridge my grief reverberates
Lacerating the fabric of my beliefs

I scrap and peel the patchwork of the earth
Half written dreams dust the floor
In the crook of her neck we drown
Secrets eat away the floor
The petal of her taste nips the winter pain
Bird travelers taste the treetops
Torn like a page from the language of your touch
I'd split my bones to place you indside
The day seemed so young as the floors begin to moan
A hummingbird sobbing in the deepness of time
As the night dreams

My passion is vanishing ,splintering on this battlefield
I changed my makeup and I fixed my hair
I'm grasping at cords and stretch marks
With your **** teeth you have me down on my knees

Heading down the highway just me and my truck
I don’t think there is anything here that could bring me comfort or luck
To take a moment to feel my love
Where did we go wrong?
I have no place to belong
I crawl down this darkness of  this empty path
Looking behind me yet I should leave it in the past
I Pray to the lord this open road will lead me to where I belong
Free like a bird but without the wings
I shall learn to fly all by myself with just me by my side
I step out into the morning light trying to  be one with my soul
Embracing myself like it’s the only thing I know
I have isolated myself in a place where only I exist
Speaking so faintly that my voice is missed
I’m exhausted I have no fear
I have given all that I have
Made mistakes  now I’m bound here
I’m locked inside the empty soul of mine
My core has been pierced way to many times
I feel as though I may disappear
I have nothing left lost my shine
I wish I could just leave this life behind
The road is long and lonely
Collecting my tears setting it free
Did you hear the stars whisper so insistently
That my essence was uprooted
That should never be
I have no vision left yet I can see
I know what’s approaching I know it all to well
So do not tempt me
I can’t seem to find anywhere to hide
You are alive in the very substance of my soul
Please be kind let it go
Don’t make me weak don’t make me need
The light has dimmed into the night
In this place where nothing else matters
I just wish I knew what was right

I do not whisper in the shadows

Or look beyond the sunken sky

I only wonder what happened to you and I

When did my search be empty as can be?

Did someone forget about me?

I shall not forget the darkness for it always prevails

But I can only be what is  true  for me

Another woman who struggles everyday

To weep among the lonely

Fight with no gain

Celebrate on the outside as I slowly melt away

I can barely breathe
When I think about you
The moon is breaking higher than my head
I see people that I should know
This town seems so foreign and unknown
Should I move would that help
Its all so undefined running in my mind
I have nothing left to lose
Rusted out like the best
The taste of solitary suits me the best
I count the blessings I’m suppose to have
When I’m doing this does it lead me home?
I see the dilapidated buildings not being  used
Broken glass like scars
Dark gray skies trying to get around
Cover the bright sky
Give me the stars
I’m so crowed in my mind
Perhaps for awhile I shall escape
There are plenty of churches for all who believe
Also taverns for those who need to fly
Push it all aside
Press up against me
Collect the sticks
Skip the rocks
Glance up and around
What do you see?
Do you wish upon a star?
A soul that fades as it unwinds
Do you in your mind?
Turn and watch as I walk away ?
Sending you smoke signals as I go
A path that is broken so you can’t return home

In all the days before tomorrow
I yearned  to reach you and couldn’t
Counted the days that seemed eternal
And the memories that overtook  me
I wanted to love you but shouldn’t
When my lips touched yours they felt foreign
Perhaps this is wrong
With all the minutes, seconds, and more
I can’t help but ask should we do this anymore?
As the rain danced and the thunder rolled
I one day hope to belong
Shall I go on Monday or Tuesday is that  a  better day to die?
I will ask again on Wednesday
But just don’t lie

Delicious beauty burns about
Kissing the shadows frantically
Void only time when bare winds blew
Smooth winter stars
Irons out the cool rusted lies spoken
I am behind my sadness
Heave about my madness
A soul that dont exist
Whisper sad nothings underneath the moon

Beyond the moon is a place for me
I would like to think its nothing but heavenly
That faith will give love a chance
Where hope is the only choice
There are no holes in the heart of humanity
Where we  don't need weapons  to solve problems
Everyone has a voice and it can be heard
All the sickness disappears
All our tribulations are gone
We don't hesitate just go for the moment
Let me reach a place that I want to know well
Give me inner strenghth
Give me faith as well
Stand for what you believe
Believe in something real

Feel human in this air
I shed this skin of mine
Try maybe one more time
All those sleepless nights
When the darkness seemed so bright
I was flushed and full of pain
Burning every cell of my being one at a time
Have you seen the thin walls that cover my mind?
I may have to escape
Search for me
Search for the truth
  I will look for my youth
I want to crawl out of myself
Disappear
I shall be careful
I can’t let it be
Expose my secrets and all my woes
I shall be delicate  with sleeves to cover the veins that eats me alive and makes a  mess
The pills that threaten to take  my insides out
Destroying everything so far apart
In the blood the  torment its all mine
Nobody wants to share this burden of mine
Lucid pain
Sweetness in the tall summer grass
Making shadow puppets
Time goes so fast
I run in the rain
Taste the night on my tongue

I think I expose myself to you

Show you that I can be weak

Let you control me

Hurting me so I feel something real

I cut my skin it bleeds just so

Scars that are visible mean that much more

My breathing becomes so shallow

When you reach  for me

I watch you and study you as you sleep

I simply wonder what all of this means

Whiskey lingers on my lips

I want to collide into your world

Making you mine

Swallow who you are

Tasting your scar

Me and you in a world full of hurt

When my voice will be discovered

Some day some time

You are almost like a ghost

Do you exist or not?

I am simply amazed at your ways

Lets just hold one another let things be fine

Tenderly  as you destroy me

And all my worth

The question I have is simply quite easy
Why would you love someone less ?
If they didn’t conform to your ideas
Why can’t others believe what they want ?
Who are we to say what is right and what is wrong
Is the color of your skin different than mine?
That’s alright we will be fine
I would help you in a instant
If I love the same *** will you hate me?
Looking at me with shame?
Lets all come together
Get and love what we desire

Would you like to see my scars?
Their is no shape just lines of abuse  
Tenderness is my plague
My heart is of no use
Here I’m so lost
My bones are frayed
An awkward silence could not fill this space

Hey  where did you come from?
Not this town you have to be wrong
I know everyone here
Yeah that’s right
I’m a know it all
This little town belongs to me
Excuse me what did you say?
Trust me I wish I could go away
This is not the home I intended it to be
I wish I was home
I don’t belong here in this small town
Away from my friends away from me
I have not seen myself in many years