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 Feb 2018 amitriptyline
everly
I know you're weary and I've worn you out, but you can rest your mind here and take your trainers off and... I apologize.
I should have approached this differently.
We said we'd be honest with each other so I guess... You make me feel like the unrequited lover. I don't wanna follow you around until you find the truth.
But I'd rather not kiss every stranger until I find you.
Can't you just appear in my hands and I'll carry you instead?
There's planets in my palms, if you get bored of my skin, I'm in change with the moon.
Habitual rituals.
Your smiling and light is my only residual.
The first time we met, did you go home and think of me too?
Our silence settles strangely now and self consciousness is heavy.
I know. People overthink things.
Women wreak havoc. Men implode.
But don't trouble yourself with my opinions.
Just remember me in the morning and carry me home
i just replay it over and over and over again until i numb myself with our memories and the love you just constantly seem to give off..
 Feb 2018 amitriptyline
Jude
I despise myself for not being someone you could love.
 Feb 2018 amitriptyline
everly
the uber ride felt longer than it was
the motions of the words that unraveled from his mind
rolled off his tongue and out onto the vulnerable open
fear of judgement only meaning the best
he said.
he didn’t want to hurt
he wanted me to see
open my eyes and look past all the puppy love-
if it’s worth investing energy into another soul..
i tuned out and imagined i was still with you
that night at the amusement park
when you held me- wrapped around my right hip
and you leaned and whispe-

do you even hear me..i’m sorry if i’m upsetting you
 Feb 2018 amitriptyline
everly
holding my baby’s feet
i’d count the little toes
1,2..4..7,8..10
one day these feet’ll walk miles to find who she is
and possibly stumble across a potential lover..
smoothing my baby’s hair
i only hope she learns to appreciate herself quicker
than her mother did.
caressing her ears
i fear of the criticism of foolish school children
that will bring her down even on days where it seems like things can’t get any worse.
all swaddled, she’d giggle in her sleep and off she dozes..
i’d kiss her forehead and whisper

i promise i will try my best to raise you better than i was
taking a little break..
 Feb 2018 amitriptyline
everly
to my future admirer,

you can never call me:
sunshine
beba or
princess and definitely not boo bear.

and when we go out
you always need to walk to the left of me
because of etiquette.

don’t tell me you love the way i look in purple..

and also another thing..

every time i kiss you
it’ll always be him on my mind..
i already broke up with my future admirer..it just didn’t work out.
 Feb 2018 amitriptyline
everly
and then he felt like talking to her
made him see
through the dull and somewhat cloudy
transparency of the plastic prism
within himself
and he saw so much more light.

only realizing he was reaching
just too

close
to the sun.
 Feb 2018 amitriptyline
everly
Eventually
he came across a potential alternate source
of light.
Only to see himself falling for the same thing over again.
Into a deeper pit of darkness still in search for light once again.
He then knew after some time
that he would settle for black

he became desensitized to the pain.
 Feb 2018 amitriptyline
everly
em.bl
 Feb 2018 amitriptyline
everly
you were so special to him
he attempted to treat you for lunch,
he took you on a date through the cemetery.
the place for you to be acquainted with his demons.
he thought you would understand that that’s just how he was.
he’s sure you weren’t uncomfortable.
you said you like-liked him

he put you up on a grey stone
but you didn’t kiss him..



why..
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