I didn't really know much about whirlwind love
or shotgun weddings
Until I went out with a forbidden boy in my new city
almost immediately we were struck by lightning
electric and on fire
with his hand on my face
dancing and kissing and sweating and laughing
someone thought we were married
so to make it right
he got down on one knee and I spent the week as Mrs. S
I broke all my own rules with him
*** with the lights on, holding hands in public
giving up my jaded and calloused heart
my favorite moment?
standing in the shower with him
listening to Beach House
hot water falling on us like sweet honey in the summertime
the soft glow of afternoon sunshine beaming in from the window
we took turns washing each other's hair
and kissing each other's necks
nothing has ever felt so pure
so safe
so beautiful
-

you're pretty during the day, but
you're beautiful at night when the
only light in the room is coming from
the dreams that are spilling quickly
out of your mouth and your hands are
shaking because they have never held mine
but i want to fill yours with phrases like
'i drink my coffee black' and
'tuesdays are my favorite days'
so you can get to know me without my
tongue quivering and creating broken
sentences that you wouldn't understand
and your skin is soft and your hair smells
like peppermint and i want a love with
you that's more picturesque than your cupid's bow is
and i want to kiss you so hard that
you won't forget it because
i know i won't forget
you

I am sick of writing sad poems.
I want to write a happy poem.
My only problem is,
I don’t know how to.

I mean,
if I were funny it would be one thing,
but my humor consists of bad puns knock knock jokes.
Knock knocking on the inside of my brain wanting to push a smile onto your faces but the only look I get back is confusion because I can never seem to get my tongue to work in times of...
In times when a belly laugh would come from their abdomen and satisfy my hunger for becoming a comical genius.

Heres a joke for you.

Knock Knock.

“Who’s there?”

Orange

“Orange who?”

Knock knock.

“Who’s there?”

Orange

“Orange who?”



Orange you glad I didn’t finish my joke?
I keep my tongue dormant so the punchline doesn’t come out wrong,
to save myself from the embarrassment of being an idiot.
I’ll laugh it off,
but n my head I hear myself say.
“Max, what the hell was that?”
Listen, brain, I know I’m not funny,

I get my humor from either my dad or the internet,
and even then,
Tuna fish and pianos,
Oranges, apples, any kind of fruit really,
couldn’t even save me.

Three men walk into a bar.
I don’t know how they didn’t see it but that isn’t my problem,
my problem is that I am not funny, or a cool pal to hang out with.
In all honesty,
I’m pretty much a stick in the mud that wears hoodie sweatshirts every day.

So the next time I come knock knocking,
I advise you to shut the door.

I finally unblocked you on Facebook
Sounds childish to say at 22, but it was a big step
The only line of communication we've had
Dammed up like the hoover
Time, hard at work with his Pick Axe, finally broke through
And the raging warm water flushed my finger tips
Excited
Nervous
Angry
There he is
Unblock
Click
Scroll
Last Post: Dec 30, 2014
3 years ago
My Birthday, 3 years ago
The 3rd one he missed
He did manage to share a sports post
For a team I am positive he doesn't even like
I'm less than a sports team he doesn't even like

It's not so bad, really
I owe him a lot
Without him, I wouldn't be who I am today
Growing up without a father teaches you to wear shoulder-pads, and to check your gloves for holes
I know where to find the best prices on cleats specifically crafted to keep a heart from slipping when it goes through ****

I've become the epitome of masculinity
Numb without Novocain
Tear ducts run as dry at the Nile will, Circa 2095
Your impact to my ecosystem as devastating as throwaway plastic

Am I your throw away plastic?

Inhale

Try to remember what you were doing before you had to remind yourself to breathe

Try to remember why you had to remind yourself to breathe

Remind yourself to breathe again

Tell yourself that the reason you breathe is to replace the carbon dioxide in your blood with fresh oxygen, allowing for your heart to pump it through your body

Remember that time you felt your breathing slow when it was a good idea to replace fresh oxygen with her carbon dioxide

Realize that the Prefix Di- in Dioxide means two

Begin cracking your first smile in days because you think that a broken heart may consider pumping carbon monoxide

Check the batteries in your monoxide detector

Move your pillow closer to the window where the plant she called "ours" still resides, giving breathing a purpose again

Fall asleep wondering if your snoring bothers your dog like it did her

Wake up to your dog snoring louder than you

Consider buying a C-PAP, without knowing who it's better suited for

Catch yourself relating the C-PAP to the band-aid you're placing over your heart, since all it really does is help you pretend that your breathing isn't a problem

Question if breathing is a problem

Google encouraging posters with puppies on them

Find yourself on her instagram again at 3 am, a faux-down comforter the coldest place in a while outside of your own mind

Chuckle at the time you did an instagram series of her stuffing her face

Wonder what your next step should be

Ask yourself if everything is going be okay

Convince yourself everything is going to be okay, while goosebumps cover your chest

Fall back asleep, slowly, dreaming about whether or not you should change your computer wallpaper at work

Discover in your deepest sleep, that breathing shouldn't be difficult. It should be something we don't notice, but remind ourselves of from time to time, whether it's heavy laughter or heavy hearted deep breathes, hitting speed bumps on its way in

You're going to be okay

Exhale