a king, oh my, that is exactly what you are
and you know it, stringing me along
i let you, because i am so lucky to be graced by your presence
for i am nothing more than a wreck
a danger to myself
but maybe, just maybe, you see something more in me
not my mother
not my father
maybe you see ME
but as a king, you must be stoic
withholding
unwavering
i understand, i truly do, but why must a king be made of stone?
i am made from glass and water
i shatter over and over again but it stays contained
water erodes rock, you know
perhaps thats why you wont get too close
you are scared and so am i, king,
why cant we be scared together?

a terror formed from childhood
a fear of growing old
a pain of staying young
and the loss of being in between

i wandered through my childhood, never knowing where to look
i used up all my teenage years trying to find a loophole
and now i’m running away from my age, wondering desperately where my youth went.

hateful lovers
spiteful mothers
hiding underneath the covers

ceasing bothers
creasing waters
falling off of teeter totters

aging fathers
raging daughters
turning down ungrateful offers

my love is like fire, it keeps you warm but get too close and it’ll burn

my heart is like ice, cold to the touch but hug me once and i’ll start to melt

my presence is like water. i can be frozen, thawed, formed to any shape, boiled bubbled bruised and battered

i’m like a liquid, or a gas, or a solid, depending on who you ask

my body is like water, the kind that’s used in pools and lakes, for manmade reasons and people just use me to swim and swim and swim
and i never get a say
i’ll never get a say
i’m just something for you to swim in but

hey

atleast i’m being swam in.

another day im holding my own head under water
another day im feeling cold while the weathers hotter
a dream awake one full of slaughter
all ink will spill, i am the blotter

i woke up wanting to die again.
or maybe its wanting to live?
im not so sure anymore..
i feel like im drifting☆
out of dreams but...
not quite into a
conciousness

shotgun shotgun
many many meanings

a pleasant car ride with those you love
the fields are waves in an ocean and you are the current
the skies changing colours, showing emotion
the music feeling warm and cold, comforting

a car, a ship, a love, a gun

checking the phone, messages are hidden
a lie is told, none are forgiven
gaslighting, screaming, I will not give in
threaten to crash.. too close to the wall you've driven.

a car, a lie, a cry, a gun

shotgun shotgun
many many meanings
close my eyes pretend I'm dreaming
when I'm alone its not a threat
I'm giving my soul, it's owed
its debt.

shotgun shotgun
many many meanings
have fun cleaning my brains off the ceilings.

come with me
ill take you down
to a place that only i know
dark and frozen
my core is shedding

my shadow
glaring and deep
its where i live
with the worms

i am dirt no one is below me

i am waiting for the day
the earth
swallows me
and i sink far down
into the depths
of myself
to see what i fear

i am waiting for the day
i snap
and swallow
more than i should
not caring
not seeing
going away

i am waiting for the day
i feel peace
and become a swallow
full of love
and light
and peace

time passing
everlasting
slow and steady wins the race
trespassing
contrasting
ill sneak and slither through with grace

time is nothing, infinite and vast, far beyond our knowledge
we still beg to understand.
if you accept that time is an ocean and you are just the sand
you will move in peace with the current
just let the tides take you and settle where you land

looking into your eyes is my eternity
but i am not yours

all i want is for you to know everything that you are
but you do not want to hear it
not from me

you are the feeling of walking in soft grass
and stepping on a scorpion

you are the feeling of wanting to go to sleep so badly
but the lights are behind your eyes
and you cant turn them off

you are the feeling of knowing exactly what your purpose is
and then forgetting everything youve ever known

and now you're back

do you feel the same or is this just another sick game being played on me
why do i always end up hurt?
i dont care anymore
what happens happens, i have no choice but to
breathe
through
it

for the first time, i am sitting in a coffee shop
alone, eating a snack
very out of character
in the mood for poetry, although i do wish i had a hot coffee
it feels natural to be here
there are people enjoying their afternoons, reading and browsing on their computers
a happy family that does not know each other
peace :)

tomorrow, yesterday, two weeks from now or eight years later
all to you with no second thoughts
c
a        r
r            a
  e                  s
f                        h
  o                             i
r                                   n
m                                        g
e                 please                   !

lately, I have been feeling lost
my body is no longer my home, a stranger inhabits it
I do not know her. she is cruel and evil and vile in every way
she is weak and hopeless, a mass of everything about me
that makes me sick to my stomach

this woman lies, steals and cheats
hurts those closest to her and laughs about it
everything is a joke to her, the pain and suffering, manipulation
remorse is not even a thought that crosses her mind
she is a truly sick individual

she expects everyone to be different
the opposite of her, but she doesn't even know
she is the monster she has been fearing her whole life
a mistake, some might say. they wouldn't be wrong
she will never learn, but I pray

I would like to come home
I would like to be myself again, to be whole
but I fear this woman will own me as if I was her pawn
she will use me to get close to my friends
and hurt them like the others

She has already done it.
This woman is in me now. A chill down my spine.
I need to change, or I will do the same as she has. Create pain.
I cannot be the monster I've feared. I won't.
I refuse.

flowering, blossoming, blooming
yet again
a new story growing in front of me
slow, steady like a snail in a garden
peaceful and calm
exactly what i needed

so similar yet so different,
so easy to understand, yet i am still wondering
exciting , mysterious and holding me oh so tight
like warm rays of sun your presence is just
healing

connection as deep as roots, a new bond is formed
mother earth and father time
and you have it all
if you so choose
to take
it

In a town of warmth, light, and calm
Softly singing are the children, a slow and peaceful psalm.

Gardens drip from sleepy balconies,
Mother nature using her purest alchemy.

The sun was blooming raidantly, now resting at a burning glow,
The moon will come and say goodnight as the sleepy plants begin to grow.

Humid and soft is the moss that says hello,
Atop the pillowy sod that lay below.

Now we say goodnight as the heavenly body bathes us in its soul,
forever thankful for the earth that hugs us and keeps us whole.

thick, green grass as far as the eye can see. i am humming softly, and along comes a bee. he buzzes to me "come down to the sea, where everything you want is surely meant to be."
i reply "mr. bee, what do you see? i see you, i see flowers, i see grass, and i see me. i am happy here, where i live absently.
joined by the rocks, the dirt, the bugs and the sun, the lot of us have merged into one.
if life were perfect, disheartened would be none.
now let me be, mr. bee, this conversation is done."
and the bee flew away, off to have fun, and i rested gently under rays of warm sun.

i topple over, falling ******* my knees.
grief flows over me like a warm winter breeze
memories fall from my eyes with a sort of gentle ease,
my words from the past leave me with a coughing wheeze.
but,
the past is the past, and i will grow with the trees,
and fly far, far away with the buzz of the bees
for i am a new me, equipped with new expertise,
this is my life now, i will do what i please.