the girl who once had so much to say
is now afraid to open her mouth



-k.l.

i destroy myself
before you get the chance
because the pain i give myself
could never hurt
as much
as your gentle touches
smile wide

you see me at my time of weak
your warm eyes question mine
i feel the pain
pounding my outer wall
till its all gone

i wish you didn't make me feel this
way
every time your presence greets mine

if  only you understood
how inferior i really am

Perhaps
It is not the sounds of chirping birds I will lazily wake up to
When I grow up
Maybe
It will be because of my 6 a.m. alarm for my part-time job
Perhaps
I will not stay at home watching movies when I have the flu
When I grow up
Maybe
I will be forced to go out and buy medicine for the throb
Perhaps
I will not spend my money on clothes and candy
When I grow up
Perhaps
I will pay off the bills I will be drowning in
Perhaps
I will not travel the world and feed my wanderlust soul
When I grow up
Maybe
I will grow up and old and die and rot in my own skin

And perhaps,
I do not want to grow up anymore;
Maybe,
This life is a road that I should ignore.

                                                             *p.t.