Shy girl,
Don't run out of sun;
Sky cries as you wilt,
And in the end the day's done;
There's no growing back.

You're so selfless,
Picture perfect in your essence,
Your future and your presence,
Sketching scribbles with your red pen,
Your ink and your corrections, permanent,
Like the letters that you sent,
Kept inside a pink ribbon,
Brighter than the sunset,
Vibrant like a sunrise,
Priceless like the sun sweat,
The golden glare that shines,
A stream that drenches me wet
With the letters of your name that I will never forget.

Let your words linger on your lips
As the wine drips from your pores,
Forming a puddle of blood
Upon the crimson stained floor.

The burning red reeks of love
And acidic sin scalds the rug,
The carpet scorched and house ablaze
But yet you still return his gaze.

And though the embers fall like leaves
With fiery passion amidst the trees,
The night will cease as though your lust
Left nothing more but washed up rust.

Had the ocean swept it all away
So morning could arrive with peace,
You wouldn't let this dream decay
Although it was the last you'd ever feel.

I follow someone else's tragedy
And I'm willing to mend it
But the emptiness reflected
Was as lonesome as the one before.

I seem to have forgotten
We are dead.

Fear
Death surrounds both options
Your only chance is to wait
To stay where you’re at
Or you’ll never come back
To seal your ultimate fate

Panic
They cannot see your true self
With that mask of yours
You use it to hide, for your health
But some see through, that is sure

You will not die for you will hide
But yet they try but cannot find
The answers to why there is nothing here for them

A constant need
From multiple directions
What you can see
Does not have affection

Dread
You hallucinate
Smoke figures only dissipate
They are not who come for you
But something else is lurking too

The constant doubt and uneasiness
Is driving you with cowardice
The monsters within are waiting
To attack, and leave you quaking

Your purpose is to distract
Before your fears attack
And make it through the night
Without a surfacing fright

Terror
A light tries to guide your way
You shall not be led astray
The fears within are still around
What’s more is they surround

They approach from different angles
Screaming, biting, harming devils
You cannot see what’s killing you
Until the killing’s done and you are too

The stress of fear
The stress of panic
The stress of dread
The stress of terror

Stress is out to get you
And it’s coming quickly too
So prepare for stress
With all your best
Or, then you won’t get through

The longer you linger on my mind
Resides louder the jarring thought: "hatred".
To think that similar synonyms
Could never have previously left my mouth
Was simply a mistake.
You were angelic, a muse at least,
But now the idea of you has turned into
A rusted tombstone littered with dust.
I have learned to despise rather than admire,
Turned from your eyes rather than inquire,
And, perhaps, may yearn to retry rather than conspire...
In a different timeline.

There came a time where I despised my presence.
Present on week days only when I gave a ****.
I lived with it and hadn't cared about
What time lunch was or when I had to figure life out.
I was ill.

Someone always stood on the side
To analyze my eyes every time that I cried.
Yes, I'm talking about a teenage crush;
I was stuck and she was able to see who I was.
She was sick.

Our infection grew between us.
We'd seen that it never burst.
And our connection seems to hold strong,
Her love and my endurance.
We are dead.

Together.

There came a night I thought I found love.
The covers warm and the scent of fruit
Lingering where empty space seemed filled.
It mystified me when the next morning
Was as lonesome as the one before
And I sat by myself, waiting for the sun to give me hope.

I would always think of her,
Every night we'd cry our pain
And say that we were both dying
But only one of us ever did,
And I never told her
How I felt.

I smiled the uncertainty only a foreigner could muster.
Farewell.

Her hibernation was a drought.
If I'd known that I would have drowned too,
But now I'm left awake
Thinking of everything I've been put through,
And then I'll fall asleep in my own sort of tomb.

One life's learnings distilled into a book,
The offsetting chartreuse cover
Covered with dust of decades
I seem to have forgotten
Due to my life's coming to a close.
I read the last page, hands filthy
Then drown in a final cleansing
And purification of my life.
The pages detach and evaporate;
The cover floats to a new shore
With its new sky blue hue
And human to master it.

That Tic Tac is a mismatch
Fitting inside a few teeth's gap,
Feeling left out when the real teeth
Get to stay there when it's got to leave;
Melting slowly and in agony
Its short life is ending quickly,
Then a few chomps til it's done
Now that Tic Tac sees no one.

Your journey splits into branches
Upon a dirt path of nurtured soil
Where your roots once grew.
Some live and others have passed,
Whether completely buried among a thriving colony
Or still visible, but pitiful.
Your trunk is large and round
But all the details are what make you unique;
The bike it grew through,
The swing bolted to your childhood,
The pests of society crawling all over you.

Your leaves are brown.
All you can remember is her name and yours.
And as time goes on,
I wonder which leaf will fall first.

I'm more real here,
No fake smiles to hide tears;
Try to find each grin,
Eventually you'll be happy.
Regrets leave and memories form,
Nothing bothers me here;
Everyone notices me,
True tears are shed.

I want a relationship
But I'm not sure I'm ready
My mind's not steady
And I lie in bed
Thinking about the dead space
Thinking there will be someone
In place of the void
With a face I won't avoid.

Why be so depressed and stressed
Just because you're lovesick,
It's fixable with the risk
Of one more set of dead lips.

Selfish are the humans who want to be remembered
Those that try their best to impact someone else
Whether through intents of knowing someone
Or feeling obligated to protect them
Selfish are the humans who live
Selfish are the humans who die
Selfish are the humans

Time is the capsule that closes around us
As you don't see the gap between
Both times each day that
The clock strikes twelve.

It is the restraint
To deny continuance of progress
And to steal our train of thought
To reverse the train's direction
Until we can turn it around again.

It is temptation of
The sleep we crave
And an attempt
To take away our temptation
Within what seems
Like a few seconds.

I can't track the time
When this capsule constrains my eyes
To the paper ahead of me
Just to tear it up overnight.

This pill is the distraction
To keep me from knowing
When to leave or when to find out
What to do with my life
When all I can ever do
Is learn to restart a day
That will not end.

I am a slave to the time that holds me here
And the only thing keeping me here is time.

I'm broken;

Flattered,
Great to see it mattered
That a man outside his shell
Would have to witness all your hell
And kneel before the devil
Before the devil ever cared
About him;
Limited at first
Until even that dispersed
And I was alone,
Broken.

Flowers bloom new hopes that never existed for me
The lone girl contemplates that piece of rope
Pollen falls to cover my body in allergies
She denies me so that all I can do is hope

Tired tugs the gashed out eye
Slain from the poison of an ocean
Warm yet still the dead beast lies
Drowned by an endless potion

Time; it never gains,
Nor ever does it once lose,
Momentum; at all

Only time can tell the mysteries of the world,
Those unknown to man,
That of both the past and the future,
The beginning and the end.

Friends can be as fragile as a bubble,
Sharp as a pin,
Or as hurtful as the needle that pierces my skin
Trying to sew back the delicate petals of a flower.

They can be as dumb as a rock
Or used as a coin
Or a melted block of ice
That fire tried to join.

A match that strikes the box
To turn some wood into ash,
Squeeze you like a sponge
Try to erase all our past.

Chip you like it's golf
Or smack you with a racket in our short game of tennis,
Pelt you with a snowball, pretend you won't feel it happen
Didn't think your building blocks were stagnant.

Mark you with a pencil
Scribble it out with pen,
Rip the leaf that's floating
Shed a teardrop at the end.

What can I do
When sky turns to blue
Where light fades to night
And dies beneath time
Seen through shade's eyes
And I await you

A sting hurts for a bit,
It was more like a pinch;
Began thinking about it
Until it didn't exist.
I then forgot about it;
It was gone that quick,
But you I can't forget
Because you're making me sick.

Strike bright like the light
That enters the still room,
Ceiling painted in dark blue
And floor splattered with patterns
Of hypnotic lines
Wavering in the patchy rays;
Perhaps closing the blinds
May let one find night
In case of yet another day.

I can't help but
Visit your page everyday,
Wishing that it won't be in vain
And I'm going insane,
'Cause I might never see you again,
You're gone like the rain that never came in the first place;
Whatever, I guess it might be better just to be forgetting your name
And forgetting your face
And the shape of your shades
And the lines across your waist
And your Instagram page
And the time we met at summer school,
The way the teacher called your name
So I turned and saw your face
And the sunlight on your shades
And the shirt on your waist
And so I went home to find your Instagram page
And I've been addicted every single day,
But now to find out that you were already taken away
Ever since I knew you;
It's a beautiful pain.

I've got strung up, stuck in the cobwebs of life
As dead as the fly that thinks he has a chance of surviving.
While dying, he's crying out the sights of his dreams;
Nightmares strike his mind like a flood of the sea.
Trying to surf on a tidalwave of tangled emotions
When the ocean still fights him to try to keep him from floating.
Drowning in a master's spindled masterpiece,
Suffocating me through the most perfect technique;
Solitude.

You are not yet gone
But one long, faraway day
I shall stand alone

That, I do not want,
Yet I will not keep you from
Exiting this house

It will be your choice
To leave me, desert my likes,
With wind as your ghost

Without company,
Your presence especially,
I will live to rot

Bones will burn like coal
And my heart will turn to dead,
The flames stoked no more

In ash arises
A new form that I've not seen,
Reincarnation

The young phoenix breathes,
No longer heavily heaves,
The fresh oxygen

It is no longer
Afraid of death, conjured as
Sparks amongst their chest

Feathers glistening,
It leaves its birthing mantel
So to fly adrift

And maybe one day
We shall reunite again
But for now I wait

We're all ants in our little farm
Rotated by the axis of the galaxy;
Our grip is impeccable no matter the angle
Hoping to hold on infinitely
To the small part of existence we are
So maybe the toddler holding us
Can remember how big he is
Watching his ant farm of humans.

My thoughts aren't perceived,
Mystery shrouded by clouds,
My mind still ponders.

There's a fine line between
The people you understand
And those you have a crush on,
You only know one of them loves you back.

Growing, shrinking,
Stepping, blinking,
Shaking, breathing,
Chest is heaving;

For you,
A new city awaits.

I do miss you, it's true.

I can't pull myself together.
The situation's kinda dire
And there's no substance
For mending broken hearts
Assuming you could
Even reach that far inside me
Just to see the shade
Match that of a smoker's lungs
And realize a deal with the devil
Is not one you want to break.

I do miss you, it's true,
But I miss us too
And spite destroys the user
Before it even takes its toll
On the corrupted angel's halo
And the being contained within.

Farewell.

Waves of a breezy day in the valley
Slap the banks that pushed them,
Retaliating not too harmfully
Just enough to irritate the land.
The fight spurs between two opposites;
The pure and the old.
Pureness doesn't cleanse a spirit
That's been around too long,
But the old can't ****
Something that's practically innocent.

The rain decides the winner.

If only existing was as easy as dying,
I'd live.

Dusk stirs the breeze of autumn
Spun to a sudden halt as night approaches
Waves of light appear before him
Those of villagers carrying torches
And within little time the morning comes
Dawn settles on top again
And when the sun will settle
Neither Dusk nor Dawn will win.

Let me drown in your words,
Sweet whispers
And nectar that stings
The tip of my tongue
When it meets yours
In the shadow of the curtains,
Hung like leaves on our evergreen tree,
Lasting all of eternity
Until we decide to chop it down,
And I can no longer hear your sound
As the tree has fallen
In the abandoned forest
We once called home.

I wish I had the courage
To ask your name.

"Stay broken
There's a reason things are unwanted"

The stoked charcoal turns into smoke just to evaporate like a ghost
I'm just a phantom of your rusted conscience
Any more thought and you'd break
We'd be together, but it doesn't matter
Your master is no longer on the ladder
You detached his tattered hands
For him to fall to mossed-over spikes to lie and die
Alone

You broke me
I'll follow your last request
I'll make sure to stay shattered
I have always followed my mind
So why betray you now, master

The oxygen you breathe
Is merely the stream
Coming from the leak
In my fishbowl

I'm no longer able to look in my eyes;
The shine is only apparent through my tears.

Then I look towards her and feel pity.
Every time I see her, I feel her,
And whenever she sees me, I try to hide
Retreating to my shell of a jacket;
She turns away.

My reflection fades as bricks slide by,
Enough bricks to lay the town.

And my eyes begin to wander again,
Persistent in finding a view;
Another glance in her direction and she's gone.
Removing her from the bus, we continue,
Traveling away from the only sight in town.

Words become fewer,
Thoughts less unique
And rather simple now indeed;
Maybe the autumn breeze
Will help me eaze up
And find some better rhymes.

You were the art
I once inhaled slowly
Piece by piece
Until I realized
The puzzle didn't feel whole.

She didn't think I cared
My tears defend my case
As I wait for an ending
Of my life that will erase
All memory of myself
But more importantly of her
But with all that I've lost
I'd be sad to last
Another year.

You might be here
But you feel so far gone,
And with each step we took
You pulled forward
And I pulled back,
Neither of us certain
Which way to go;
Only now that it's too late, may I confess,
I wished you forever were my compass rose.