How did it go
Around and around
Thick and thin
Slivers of beads
And evil piercing shrapnel

Bangbang
Two swipes
And gone were they
From the world.
No one knows
Where they went
But they are so far gone
That no hospital machine can bring them back.

The trees
Behind the checkered screen
Of my window
Are silhouetted skeletons
Against a black and white
Cotton candy sky.
And limp dangling pieces of flesh
Cling to the bones
Refusing release.

And they forgot about me
Let sin take over
As soon as Eve
Laid a pearly white finger
Upon the flesh of the apple

For those first poisoned bites
Sent wedges
Like earthquakes
In between us.

A huge crack of rubble
Uncrossed,
No bridges to connect

And dust filled the air between
To cut off breath
And to cut you off from me
So you could not see me
And you could not hear me

But I want to know you
I want to hear your voice
I want to know you more.

I want to touch you
I want to see your face
I want to know you more.

And that injection
That sin
Coursed through your veins
And thickened the blood
That connected us
And made it thick and dull and cancerous
Until it was still.

And one day
I hope for a cure
To this evil disease.

Something to help blood flow
Like a river from the crimson heart.
And I will send
A
Bridge between us
To connect us once more
And make a swept
Breeze to clear the air.


I will send Jesus.

Today she finally
Painted over her toenails
In that icky
Sticky
Thick
Bubblegum pink color
That her
drunk father
bought her for christmas

And it had a number
On the cap
And she didn't know what it stood for
But she thought that since the number was
783
Then it didn't stand for the kind.
Because who knew L'Oreal sold
That many bottles of nail polish?
How many different kinds of pink
Could there be?

She actually didn't care.
Because the only reason that she was doing it
Was to cover up
That bluish
Tint
That you get
In your finger and toenails
When you don't eat.

And before she could paint the last toe
Her drunk father came in
And shot her dead.
But she felt nothing
Because the squashed up metal
Bullet
Went straight through her stomach
Which was
Empty
Because she didn't eat.

And her toes were
All the way dry
By the time the police
Showed up.

She loved art
And she breathed
And ate
And slept art
And she radiated art
And art was her life

And we
All loved her
One hundred percent
And every
Girl
Was her
Best friend

And the priest
Doing the funeral
Hadn't met her.
But her parents
Paid him like he had.

And they told the priest
"She loved art
And she breathed
And ate
And slept art.
And she radiated art.
And art was her life."

And so that was what he
Told the
Congregation.


But when
A quiet person like her
Dies
No one ever finds out
That she
Hated art
But
In fact
She loved Forensic Science.

I want to write
And I want to write far
Farther than distance and
Farther than a mile feels when you're
Expected
To run in gym class.

I want to
Inspire.

And the word seems
Thick
Like elephant skin
Or those
Cracked leather jackets that bikers wear.

It seems 'out there'
Like a planet
Somewhere that we
Haven't sent probes to.
In the middle of swallowed up
Space.

But I want to
Inspire

Like
J.K. Rowling
Or
E.B. White
Or
J.R.R. Tolkein

And all of those other
Blocked up
Official sounding
Initials.

I could have initials.
Be E.M. Tyler or just
E. Tyler.
And people would
Wonder what the E. stood for

And one day I would
Sign an autograph
"Emily"
And they would call
The New York Times
And the search would be over
And ambitious fans
Would exclaim in exhuberance.

And they wouldn't have even read my book yet.