I'm four bottles into loving you.
How many are you?

You saw sunshine in me when I saw complete darkness

I want to tell the truth and not stutter.
Stutter.

Lover of Disney.
Connoisseur of fairy tales.
With stories of lonely-girl-turned-princess
and wooden boys swallowed by whales
(just longing to be real).
Ever a believer in Happily Ever After.

I thought I could be your disaster.

I raged.
Hurricane gales with lightning and thunder.
Earthquakes and landslides.
Stormed into a blunder.

I thought you were frail,
but you're corrugated steel.
A bastion, a bulwark; impregnable.
A stronghold made up of shining white stone.

When the rampage was over,
the only foundation destroyed was my own.

Bathed in the ambience of snowflakes and big words
Grabbing arms to ensure we don't get stuck
In the world of our own past horrors?
Rice and carrots, I can fix you up
Beam at me--like I could really mean something.
I love the way it looks when your body
Your strong hands, they caress, grip, and tighten
On my longing *******.

I'll have another glass of wine now
Because it allows me to let myself shine
But you, you want to convince me to stay
How do you cope with your own nakedness?

I should have made you a cup of coffee this morning
But I couldn't peel my eyes away from you, long enough
To remember hospitality.
I should have shared a cup of coffee with you this morning
I should have let you take me
I should not let our sheets envelop us whole
I should be less weak.

But even though we forget our words
We forget that 5 hours has passed
To eat, to leave the house
Caught up in each others face
And taste.
Would we be fools to let this go?

I got the cork stuck in the bottle of wine
And drank cork red wine, the rest of the night
Teeth, opening, a flutter of kisses
I still taste you on my mouth.
Don't go.

in the pleasure of discovering
words rhymes rhythms
i'm a gluttonous poet.

day and night
bite of my growing appetite
makes me sink low

i don't notice
broken pieces
shattered peaces
around me

i breathe in writing
eat and drink
poetry

crazed obsessed stressed
my poetry
like any other debauchery
is an escape ride
someplace to hide

i'm a poet
subservient
to the pleasures of words rhymes rhythms.

I am one of the hardest people to love. If you want a challenge, I guess I'm your girl. There are a few things you should know about me, though. 1. I most likely won't trust you even though you've never wronged me. 2. I'll push you away every chance I get. Don't let me, though. I secretly want you to stay. 3. I get upset over the smallest things. 4. I'm very good at making people feel guilty. 5. I laugh at everything to keep myself from crying.
6. I let all my sadness and anger build up until I explode. 7. I am extremely stubborn and will never admit I'm wrong. 8. I hate being told what to do, so don't try pushing me around. I won't allow it. 9. I am very clingy and protective. There are reasons for that which I am not willing to explain.
10. I figure out everything so don't try lying to me. Chances are I already know the truth. 11. I hate myself. Don't ask me why. Don't tell me to love myself. Don't expect me to love me just because you do. 12. I am very insecure. If you compliment me and I tell you no, it's not because I'm fishing for more compliments or begging for attention, I just don't believe your comment to be true. 13. I can't handle arguments. If we get in a fight, I'll most likely walk out. Let me go. It's for the best. I promise I'll come back. 14. I'll love you uncondionally. Please don't take advantage of that. 15. I like going on adventures and keeping myself busy. Please don't try holding me back. I won't stay. 16. I have days where I won't speak a word. Don't try forcing me to talk. We'll both end up frustrated. 17. I won't let you in easily.
18. I like to know every detail about people, but I won't let them know a thing about me. 19. I get excited over the smallest things, especially sunsets. If I make you drop everything to come look at it, just go with it. 20. Half the things I do, don't make sense. I'll laugh at myself, so laugh along with me.
If there's something on this list you won't be able to handle, don't bother with me.

I won't change myself for you.


                                   B.S.