i’m


    began                                        back

    ­
     i                                                            agai­n


where                                              at


    from ­                                  the

       place

Pain is such a beautiful thing...

It makes me realise Joy.
It gives me the pleasure of Relief.
And it teaches me the lesson of Strength...

i felt the reluctance
in your movements,
in your touch,
in your hair and fingernails.

i heard reluctance
in your voice,
in your word choices,
in your subtleties and screams.

i knew, reluctantly,
that i wasn't there,
and that, reluctantly,
you were. i'm still not.

I built myself up
in comfort
and in closeness
to the idea
I wouldn't have to feel
the ways I used to.

Now I build up
collections
of books
and others' ideas
to pass times
I can't comfort myself

with the way I am now.

we can't stop our hearts from beating,
our lungs from breathing, so why
try and stop our minds from thinking?
they can destroy us once they're
overclocked and overloaded,
over-simplifying complicated situations.
we still try to forget ourselves,
and how they're always there,
but it's inevitable, atomic,
how time moves us, but we cannot move time,
only by falsifying hands tracking
secondary measurements, little ticks
that eventually drive us mad.
not with anger, but with sadness,
time slips, and we slip with it
back to innocence, perseverance ensues,
and we soon see how time changes
without our hands in the clock.

you can take your hands off the gears now,
and keep the time set where it was,
and before you know it,
that too shall pass.