And now,
You wont even
say a word to me.
Soon again,
I'll have to
Face my biggest
Fear.
I'll be forgotten.
Yet again.
By yet another
Person who
Mattered so much.

You never fail
To point out every single flaw
Never forget to remind me
Of everything I do wrong
I was stupid getting 60's,
Still stupid on honor roll
And you never cared about my ADHD
Always comparing me to someone else
I already know how worthless I am
I tell myself all the time
No, this isn't teenage angst
I've been sad for years
You've made me feel alone
And that's why I love him,
He told me the things you should have said
All along
I think this revelation is far overdue
The fault isn't in me,
The fault is in you

Be careful*
when you hold my hand.
Please?
As much as my winter-bitten lips refuse to say

"I am fragile."

Don't worry, spring will kiss them.

Between my wrist and fingertips, bear a gossamer web of time's sewing, see that criss-cross there, yes, it's still mending.

Little threads of fine, fine alchemy.

Above all, be very careful & wide-eyed
with my heart.

The space between my ribs and my white heart painted red
bears
old, old scars
that never quite
closed
to
s l e e p.

Creased memories still peek-a-boo here & there
before
threads and thin lines of time seam them away.

It is scary, I know.

But, I promise,
I'll do the same for you, sweet-heart.

I don't mind
that you care.

I mind
that you worry.

Why?


Because I don't understand.