inches apart
a shift in the air
my eyes close without closing
and hands in your hair

my heart skips a beat
my breath follows suit
i hold my words back
'my heart beats for you'

did i imagine it?

sometimes i start to feel like i'm turning inside out
and it was you who watched on.
and it was you i was counting on
and it was i who sewed this body back together

what is left of me
if i don't have autonomy
i've lost control
of the reins of my body

he opened me up
and broke me down
without asking
i'd been turned inside out

he's always around
and he always will be
i ask and i plead
does anyone hear me?

reality seems so far away
and so out of touch
i am tortured in this prison
of the subconsciousness

it is the only place i exist,
i am stuck under my skin.
i have closed the doors and shut the windows
so even the summer breeze can't get in

my blood boils my veins
and it poisons my heart
its my own flesh and soul
that is tearing me apart

my vision has gone black
my eyes roll on the ground
i sewed my mouth shut
and i scream with no sound

Where do we come from?
I used to think I came from the earth, from my mother,
From something that I couldn’t understand, something other
Then I thought that maybe I came from you,
That somewhere in the universe one soul split into two
As I became me, and you became you

Where will we go?
At the end of the day, when all's said and done,
You are for me, and you said I was the one
So how can you tell me that you're "unsure"?
What the **** was all of this even for?
How do you not feel the same anymore?

Sometimes you are showers in april.
I know you by your scent, I can feel in my bones when you’ll be around me
I feel you on my skin, your lightness covers me
The mist of you envelopes and mystifies me
I cannot predict you but I know you are evercoming

Sometimes you are a storm.
Your wild winds whip past my face and I have to fight through to keep up
You are deafening in my ears as my protests fall on deaf ears
Your cold droplets are hard and heavy and they follow me wherever I go
And yet I still find you just as beautiful to watch

Sometimes you are the eye.
You are a mysterious green of calm, the air is sweet as I taste it on my tongue
My own storm clouds are ever persistent, but they grow quiet in your lull
You give me peace before the impending downpour that will not leave me alone
You keep me grounded as we become one with the earth

i am falling

there is nothing solid beneath my feet
the air is rushing past my ears
i can feel gravity’s relentless grip on my shoes,
pulling me down, down,
down.

my hands grasp in the dark
for something to grab onto,
anything at all,
that could help me make sense of this situation
or save me.

my hands try but
everything is slipping through my fingers.
no hand-holds,
only pieces of something, fragments.
only darkness everywhere.