I knew you’d be lovely. But we’re only here now, so in this moment please stay with me. Because you see, I can’t get a handle on time. There are seconds which feel like forever I find myself watching the words spill like wishes from your mouth. And there may come a time when you have to tell me to leave. But right now, what we are is a thousand miles apart and swirling in a moment of dizzying stillness.

I like the way our fingers intertwine
searching
for a formula
for an equation
that explains how seamlessly
they fit together.

The silence that vibrates in the soul
touches all those brave enough to feel.
Like the writhing body of a restless dancer
forced to move to an unheard rhythm.

Every kind of language is pleasure hidden in a paradise of seduction. Words ghost over iridescent moments as the poet becomes the object. And as the willing soul turns pleasure into a poetry to be hungrily consumed, seduction becomes the very heart of language.

Wishing
on
the
moon
instead
because
there
are
no
lucky
stars
in
s­ight.

The ways of love are strange indeed
like a winding river
passing through moments of passion
and fits of rage
caressing our souls
we chase the demons away.

But that was then
and as elusive as dreams
when morning comes
all is forgot
like a teardrop in the rain
or a ghost in the heart,
we stare into emptiness
that of beauty adorning sightless statues.

Let the tears and the clouds explode
scorching you
as rain falls heavy like molten lava
it fills the void of what was once real
an imagined illusion
like dark shadows dancing on walls
and now a rumble like rolling thunder
edges closer
stifling you with its presence
breathe in deep
whilst the deluge fills your lungs
drowning your screams
and everything that once was
the current whips you and it tosses you like a banshee in the night
breaking the silence with a smile and a fright
till left becomes right and up becomes down
till nothing but a broken shell remains
bloodied, dismembered
and disfigured.

I will never stop saying this. Just in case somehow the wind carries my message to you. I don’t pretend to think you’d ever stop to listen but just maybe, maybe on one of those occasions you’ll have your guard down. And over the din of the music and noise you might hear me. Or maybe in the silence of the night. In between the wake and sleeplessness. I’ll be there like a shadow of something in the past. I will never stop saying this.

I implore your good self
would you walk away right now
before we go too far?

Before your whispers become tangled up in my sheets
and your heartbeat becomes the soundtrack of my dreams
because when you’re gone, my bed will feel like a tomb
where I sleep with your ghost
and your eyes will be all I see
like an after image of the sun when I close my eyes.

would you leave if I begged you to
would you walk away
and take your heart, your kiss, your smile
would you leave right now
because it’s already too late.

The old adage ‘opposites attract’ is such bull crap seeing how similar we both are and how well we get along together. So scoot on over here, swallow your pride and grab hold of my hand. Let’s give ‘em something to talk about.

Saw you today
you haven't changed a bit
except your hair's a little shorter
but that old jacket still fits just fine
"can I buy you a coffee,
for old times sake,"
it's nothing but some harmless fun
if you've got nowhere else to be

we'll laugh about back then
and how it all turned out
and you can lightly brush my hand
with a smile from behind your cup
for now let's pretend like we always did
hiding from yesterday
lost in the here and now.

A cusp. An apex. Something was brewing as it quietly stirred in the dark. It was the idea of rebellion that mesmerised under the deadbolt of my closed mind. It was all that passion. But whatever was it for if it was to remain bottled up? All that ****** passion just kept on a shelf. Maybe we will never know it even exists until a completed story reveals itself. And then there will be nothing left to do but accept what it is as it is. So as compensation try to delight in a walk through the cool midnight breeze as you push back against the hot sidewalk heat of a long and smoky month. Brush past the traffic and the neon signs and all the noise this city breathes and just let its madness envelope you in its warm and dizzying embrace.

We spoke about life together. And after the smiles and cuddles, your expression changed to one of sadness. You were sad about how everything was so temporary and fleeting.

"What about us?", you said.
“Are we just hitching a ride until something better comes along?”

So go ahead, ask me again about how our days are numbered. And I will tell you that this is true. Our days are indeed numbered.

But numbered by the amount of times you hug me from behind when I least expect it. Or the number of hours we spend awake whispering to each other over the telephone. What about the numerous times you read a text from me and smile from ear to ear like a crazed fool. Or all those minutes that have been lost tracing the veins on your hands and giving each of them feminine names. Let’s count the days by the amount of stolen glances we share. Or the secret jokes only we are privy to. I’ll count the days as I count the freckles on your back. And you number yours by the unexpected kisses you give me when no one is watching.

The night carries a sombre melody
on its wings, when emotions are raw
and we cry and we wail, but who will remember
those who passed quietly into the night?

Now phantoms, gone like the wind
rustling leaves. A force that can’t be seen, but felt
as it snakes its way through a labyrinth
of concrete jungles.

Forgotten ‘I love you’s’ and misplaced compassion
the  air of melancholy is thick and stifling, igniting a
collective mourning that only a few
truly understand.

So we pray and bow our heads, a solemn vow to
give anything if we could turn back time
doleful eyes streaked black with tears and teeth that grit
and fists that clench.

But nothing changes, and the world spins faster
and faster into the future when the futility of hoping
is a fleeting pleasure, dissipating into thin air
what once was a bleeding wound starts to heal and
nothing remains but the raised remains of an ugly scar.

So behind closed eyes dreamers conjure wild fantasies
and decadent dreams
a different night sky, one that begs to be looked upon
streaked with flourescent hues and flashes of lighting
where the stars light up like runway strips, welcoming
the weary traveller home.

And whispers of the ‘gone’ and the ‘going away’
become averted regrets and forgiven sins
where sadness is placed
in a museum of accidents, and the poetics of loneliness
isn’t allowed to exist.

For the fifth night in a row I find myself fully awake and staring at the rafters of my bedroom. There was nothing to show for the sense of tiredness I felt a couple of hours ago except for my eyes still heavy with sleep. I prop myself up on one elbow and find my cat curled up in between my legs. The predictability of my nightly routines is somewhat comforting. My curtains are drawn as they always are when I sleep and the sky is unusually bright illuminated by a spatter of stars and a silvery moon casting a blue hue over everything. It is a quiet night but it isn’t silent. For silence does have a sound, the sound of stillness. Soon that moon will be gone and I rub my eyes as I marvel at the subtlety of perfection in the impermanence of time.

When the night is as dark as the thoughts that I keep
unable to sleep
I find salvation in the white knuckles on my steering wheel
and the lights that flash by scorch my eyes like fires from falling down satellites
as forgiveness teeters at the edge but then slowly winds away
a deer waits silently on the border of the black.

Staring at the passing headlights
time is torn apart
shattered and broken
like memories rudely awoken in a canyon of wakeful dreams
and a vision on a mountain of crystalline salt
burns in an open wound
here lies the nuance of a heartbeat
pulled from a field like a handful of daisies.

So I sleep outside by the side of a giant tree
and a voice it speaks to me from the marrow of my soul
it is the vaudeville of my heart
filling the fractured, starless night with a burlesque song and dance
with hopes that the subtle hints sent through the Heavens above
from a hollow soul with open veins
will find you tripping and falling back into my arms.

You live fearful
that every night
the ghosts you keep in your heart
may find their way out
and eat you from within,
so that as the dawn breaks
and crimson stains grey skies
you stare bleary eyed, into the mirror of your soul
and fail to see
the demon staring right back at you.

Digging through the rubble
searching for hope
even though hope
seems like a blurred emotion
better left off
to the somnambulists
who often live their lives
in a haze of damp regrets.

Without my glasses I feel like I am running on a beach of diamonds.

If I could leave you with one last thing
it would be ‘thank you’
thank you for scrubbing off the blackened, charred skin
and helping me shine again.

You made me realise, truly realise
that I wasn’t the first person to feel hurt
and I certainly wouldn’t be the last
that I didn’t have a monopoly
on sorrow or pain
but…
you told me that if I ever did get hurt
you’d be there to kiss away the pain.

Thank you because you showed me it was ok to trust again.

As the sun dips
behind the hills
open your windows
open your heart
and listen to the breeze
as it kisses the pines
because here in the night
in the comfort of the dark
under a blanket of stars
I’ll sing to you
a lullaby.

Walking alone along the salt-soaked boards of my haunted memories. It’s a trip down one of those smoked filled open-mic nights where the air is heavy with stale perfume, heavy eyelids and painted on smiles. I find myself meandering the city streets and cobbled sidewalks searching for a ghost. In hopes that I’ll round the corner and collide with my own version of magik and inspiration. I’m intoxicated by a sweet anticipation like a flint flirting with a spark on the soul. A hope for some glimmer of warmth or recognition from the empty stares of a stranger’s eyes.

What if there wasn’t a word for everything? And no matter how hard you scraped against the insides of your brain, all you are left with is a handful of bloodied pink flesh. Some feelings are better off left as they are; hidden away from prying eyes. To expose them is to reveal the root of the word. It is to stand naked in front of a crowd as your imperfections and perceived blemishes are slowly and deliberately picked to pieces by scrutinising eyes.

Sometimes all we are looking for is a gentle squeeze of the arm or a comforting smile from a friend. Leave the fireworks and violins to Hollywood and come and give me a hug because in this house, the smallest gestures are always the most powerful.

Waiting in the spaces between seconds is like being set on fire but you can’t stop dousing yourself with gasoline. It’s an unexpected rain on a blistering hot day. It’s forgetting about tomorrow because you’ve only got today.

I rose early to greet my lover
and when it was time for her to rise
I blew a kiss towards the heavens
and the skies blushed as the world awoke.

Liquid darkness dissipates into luminescence
as first light bathes the bowered pathways through a tangle of roses
it settles in the valley of your back
and on the delicate slopes of your shoulders
spreading within seconds
ink bleeding on paper
like the blissful unfurling of seraph wings that fill the horizon.

I can feel the earth pulsing with energy
outside the measured cadences of birds hum and sing and ring
I said to my soul, “be still and be quiet”
just remain enveloped in this consensual hallucination
within the seconds of light that shimmer between two dimensions
as specters of dust dance around your sleeping form
they catch the light and I am bewitched.

You’ve scorched the sky
and now you sit
listening to the pulsing beats
while searching for my voice
between your satin sheets.

Is it love or madness
when a desert rose blooms
where no one can see
twining a maze of desire
towards a scorching lover.

There is a cave
where the broken hearted mourn
the love they gave away
and like a beam of light
from a solitary lighthouse
as it pierces the darkness of an endless night
their cries are carried on the wind
shattering the silence with howls of pain and woeful songs
tempting young hearts to try in vain
as poison vines wrap around their souls.

My body is finally letting go
of the home
     I have made in this maddening silence.
           But it is I,
if there is anyone
     to be blamed,
for carving poems into my skin
and breathing a spirit into them
    in the image of you.

Don’t be so harsh on them. We are all secondhand treasures. Each of us bruised and battered in some way or form. We’ve just gotten really clever about hiding our dings and chips. In the end, we’re just looking for somewhere soft to land. And you know what…living in reserve can be so exhausting. So go on and smile. Who knows, you may just brighten up someone’s day.

Sunrise,
steady me
so I can move through this world.
Sunrise,
inspire me
******* away
by what you unfurl.

You are
a moment in time
Something I’d tattoo
on my wrists to remember
Do you know
you’ve left an indelible mark
across the plains of my heart?

Alone outside
standing on the dying embers of what is left of a perfect day
a gentle breeze blows through my thoughts
clearing the haze
amplifying the silence and doubts inside my head
distraction forces the emptiness away
there’s nothing more to say
as I watch the storm approach
clouds as heavy as drapes roll in
and soon rain blankets the earth
lightning cracks
I’ll flinch in the semi darkness
as the grass turns electric under my feet
the leaves dance orange and red
encircling me like confetti on fire
igniting an old memory
soft and bittersweet it rises to the surface
I hope you understand why I shiver
with a mix of awe and fear
at its impending power and threat
but I remain as still as possible
ignoring the danger
because nothing compares to the burning in my head.

My satin sheets
were always bathed in starlight,
at least that’s what you kept repeating
But I just wanted you to know
that these walls
shine just as bright
in broad daylight
If you would have only waited
a couple more hours
to see darkness welcome in the morning
and I would have greeted you
with a smile so exuberant
that it would have put
the sun to shame.

Letting it all sink in
dragging my shadow behind me
and existing between probable and possible
I don’t mind stepping into the great unknown
but an almost hello doesn’t count for much
and you know I hate living in the gray areas of maybe
wishing and hoping that in those moments of painful hesitation
something that looks like love might fall through
but this living in limbo is like living in hell
caught between a rock and a could’ve, would’ve, and should’ve
at least in hell you know you’re dead
here in the waiting room there’s no consolation for the living
every second feels like a lifetime
I swear that I’m betting on the real thing
but why do I always walk away with nothing
and like a fool I place my hopes in one basket
hoping a memory might save me
from going insane.

You are enshrined in my chest
where every thought I think
or word I ink
is borne of you,
so when you left
time was rinsed away

and I miss the most
all that I had lost.

Streetlights that stand like sentinels
   once cast a warmth into the dark
But now the night is splintered
   and the cold seeps in through the shadows
Letters no longer make sense
   and broken flames highlight angular buildings
They block out the stars, remember those stars?
   and they hide the moon
"Choose," I say and breathe life into these veins
   or let the darkness in and I’ll fold my wings away.

You’re staring at me
but all I see is a battlefield
of conflicted emotions
and your lips they move to speak
but your words cut deeper than knives
and it feels like I’m freezing in a house set on fire.

And those roses you gave me
have all turned black
clouded by your lies
I hold them close
but they crumble at my touch
as the visions were foretold
but my stubborn heart was never good at listening
and I waited,
as you floated somewhere between hope and despair
while the flames grow higher and consume me entirely.

Now all that remains
are the littered memories
your twisted words
like an echo
a train through a canyon
causing a landslide
tangling me within
whirring like a hurricane
blurring the skies
and turning green fields black
all I can do,
is turn away
as those bridges quietly burn.

I climbed your ribs to the very last rung
but in spite of the effort, bruised knees and broken skin
I’ll finish this race
where I started from
because someone’s future taunts me
sitting in a past I could never outrun.

Somewhere between the euphoria
we carved our names in the bark of time
amongst the laughter and your warm breath on my neck
through the drunken haze of night
when you traced a finger down the curvy vein of a map
do you remember my careless and fumbling hands
we groped for something as abstract as love
to the rhythm of phantom beats
like drumming on the dashboard to our favourite songs
in unknown places, and make belief spaces.

Between taming the lust and the passion that simmered
you didn’t mind when I kissed you on the lips
you said my mouth quivered
maybe it wasn’t me who wanted too much
maybe it was you who just didn’t try hard enough
you got me drunk
off a cocktail of maladjusted emotions, crossed wires and mixed signals
but let me tell you I never said I could fix your world
although there were times I wish I could have.

I hope she can fix you
    the way you never let me
ironically my heart still beats
    and sometimes, in the quiet of my dreams
its rhythm still spells out your name.

With reverent hands we desperately fumble for something to hold on to. Forgetting that what we seek is really ourselves. Maybe it’s easier to look outside than it is to look within. And yet you wander where magic comes from. But I see it in everything you do. Shed the shackles that chain you down and the moonlight will dance upon your beautiful naked soul. And a memory will leave a quiver of a smile upon your lips. Take my hand and permit me to voyage upon the choppy waters of your thoughts. There we will travel to sobriety and we’ll hook our dreams on the crook of a cloud so that no matter which way we face, the sun will always shine on us.

Don’t tie your hair in a messy bun.
Don’t flick your ash like you don’t care.
Don’t hide ‘cause I see you flinch from those spoken words.
They sting worse than punches
and the bruises never fade.
And I see how you dismiss the hurt by playing it cool.
But darling,
there ain’t no one who feels nothing.
And you can disguise your feelings with all that black you wear.
Or paint on your mascara thick like you don’t give a ****.
But baby,
people are gonna talk no matter what;
how much you ate,
how thin you are,
that you think too much,
that you don’t care enough,
that your heels are too high,
or you’re pretending to be someone else
or just how you do,
or how you don’t.
And I know these things play off on your mind and keep you up at night.
But bottling it up isn’t going to ease the swell in your troubled heart.
It’ll just feed the sorrow and someday that old bubble is gonna have to burst.
So here, take my hands
because they’re yours to hold.
And don’t look surprised
because they’ve always been.
Maybe you never noticed them,
or maybe it wasn’t the right time.
Or maybe you were holding out for another pair of hands.
Now I know these hands are small.
They look fragile
but they’re all I’ve got to give.
Oh yes, there is my heart
but you claimed that long before I could auction it off to the highest bidder.
These fragile hands will
hold,
caress,
support,
and cure you.
If you’re weary
they’ll rock you to sleep.
They’d do more than just move mountains
and part oceans for you.
So take these hands and hold on tight.
But don’t doubt these hands
because they’re yours to hold.

If you would just lift the fog that sits heavily upon your eyes you’ll see an azure sky. The birds swim in delight above you and they’re calling your name. And look how the sun kisses your pale skin. Can you feel it’s gentle bite teasing you? Doesn’t that warmth feel wonderful? Just breathe and let the knot that resides in your chest melt away. No one can be sad on a day like today. Open your sweet eyes to a new beginning. I can assure you the dark damp night has finally left your heart.

I write you love poems on my skin
And you grin as you erase alphabet by alphabet with teasing kisses
I’ll write you another until I’m nothing
but the salty taste that lingers on your salty lips.

Between countless coffee cups
and pauses in puffs
the silent stares and the idle thoughts
you are here, existing
and sharing the same air
so that my breath exists
as a part of yours
even if
for a little while.

The world is littered with words unspoken; missed opportunities and and wasted chances. And in those rare and quiet moments, if you still your racing heart and really listen, you can sometimes hear what should have been spoken.

We ignored all storm signals
and scoffed at the rolling thunder and flashing lightning
but when the skies opened and she cried without end
we stood our ground and cursed the Heavens above,
we were never good at building boats
and as the ground shook beneath our feet
we bit our lips, and tried to raise the Titanic instead.

And it hits you
like a cold hard slap
or a pang of guilt
like the memory of an old lover you discarded
and it echoes in the void of your chest.

You’ll feel the warmth spread
slowly outwards
and it will scald
and it will burn
consuming you inch by inch
until you find new life growing
like wildflowers
from the soot
and the ashes left behind.

And yet you still wish
upon the stars
hoping they’ll give you some absolution
but don’t you see they don’t exist
the only stars are the ones in your eyes.

And those knots in your heart
they are weighing you down
but that’s just ice
waiting to thaw.

So sit in the sun
and soak it all in
but before you do
I must tell you this
forget your heart
forget your skin
forget your love
forget every thing
forget your dreams
they will lead you astray
but sweet child do remember
if I come knocking
please let me in.

It’s easy to forget
but I hope you never forget
my silhouette.