There’s silence tonight
except for the music
carried off on the wind
the shadows in my room
are bellowing duets with the moon.

Remembrance like hazy days
of drinking too much and laughing too loud
forgetting to measure each minute that passed
till hope dwindles to a flickering ember
and everything that once was
turns into a shadow on the wall
the tattered wallpaper in someone’s heart
like a latent memory of searing regrets
or an eternal kiss,
burled into an angel’s *****
a kiss goodbye from a summer’s lilac.

Wishing
on
the
moon
instead
because
there
are
no
lucky
stars
in
s­ight.

The ways of love are strange indeed
like a winding river
passing through moments of passion
and fits of rage
caressing our souls
we chase the demons away.

But that was then
and as elusive as dreams
when morning comes
all is forgot
like a teardrop in the rain
or a ghost in the heart,
we stare into emptiness
that of beauty adorning sightless statues.

How does a child of the night
embrace a child of the day
except when meeting at twilight
standing face to face
they know not what to say.

The way I fall in love
effortlessly
with strangers in cafés
simply
by the type of coffee they order
and how their faces light up
happiness
after the first sip.

Everything that once was
now a wisp of a memory
tinged with hues of regret
like an eternal kiss,
burled in an angel’s *****
or a kiss goodbye
from a summer lilac.

On your side of the street there’s one street lamp flickering
And the stars shine a little brighter
Are you watching or pretending to sleep?
I know you can hear me calling from your side of the street.

On your side of the street are you thinking about me?
When you toss and turn in bed are you wishing it was me?
Do your sheets feel cold like the tears running down your face?
Or do you still pretend it was nothing but a dream?

On your side of the street is that cafe we used to love
Do you remember the coffee and is it bitter like your regrets?
Or that time we danced in the rain under the moon?
On your side of the street where I warmed you in my arms.

On your side of the street I see you’ve turned out your light
You’re so far away but I can almost hear your breath
On your side of the street I feel you hesitate
On your side of the street.

I remember that first kiss
Trembling lips and breathless sighs
And the red on my shirt,
Was it blood or wine from your lips
Walk on by and my heart still skips a beat
Watch me fall all over again
Medusa’s lure in the curve of your smile.

Hungry lips
Wandering hands
Crashing desires
You kept your eyes closed
And forgot to breathe
When we pulled apart
I felt you exhale
Upon my soul.

Is it love or madness
when a desert rose blooms
where no one can see
twining a maze of desire
towards a scorching lover.

Did you know
the Northern Lights
they twist, roll and dance
all over the sky
before disappearing
like a gentle tease
without a trace?

But they do return
night after night
unlike you
a night visitor
haunting my dreams
spectres of light
of whiskeyed breath and rosy lips.

You speak in cryptic kisses ( k i s s m e ) that you left littered
and staining my skin, black and blue from blows that once
caressed, now linger as phantom memories of phantom hands
that ******* undone. And those days, although so far
away from where I am, make me feel like a tourist in my own
body. One who stands barefoot outside in the cold, looking in
through the cracked and ***** windows of my weary eyes. But
would you return like a shark who smells blood or would you
wait like a predator in the shadows for me to completely
fall
   to
     pieces?
When all I am is a fusion of crossed wires and mixed
signals, a train barrelling through a dark tunnel of insecurities
and everything you ever said I was when I knew full well that
I wasn’t. Muscle and bone and marrow and guts, beating and
thumping in tune but out of sync to empty words and nonplussed
emotions. A heart that races for no apparent reason and familiar
faces carved into stone. Flowing through a river of blood like a
drunken sailor, with too much pride to ask for help but too much
guilt to set sail for home. So as a fool would do, I will quiver
as I drag my calloused heart towards the edge of the
mountain top where I will squint, and staring into the
setting sun place one foot in front of the other as
it singes my skin to the colour of my sins.

The night carries a sombre melody
on its wings, when emotions are raw
and we cry and we wail, but who will remember
those who passed quietly into the night?

Now phantoms, gone like the wind
rustling leaves. A force that can’t be seen, but felt
as it snakes its way through a labyrinth
of concrete jungles.

Forgotten ‘I love you’s’ and misplaced compassion
the  air of melancholy is thick and stifling, igniting a
collective mourning that only a few
truly understand.

So we pray and bow our heads, a solemn vow to
give anything if we could turn back time
doleful eyes streaked black with tears and teeth that grit
and fists that clench.

But nothing changes, and the world spins faster
and faster into the future when the futility of hoping
is a fleeting pleasure, dissipating into thin air
what once was a bleeding wound starts to heal and
nothing remains but the raised remains of an ugly scar.

So behind closed eyes dreamers conjure wild fantasies
and decadent dreams
a different night sky, one that begs to be looked upon
streaked with flourescent hues and flashes of lighting
where the stars light up like runway strips, welcoming
the weary traveller home.

And whispers of the ‘gone’ and the ‘going away’
become averted regrets and forgiven sins
where sadness is placed
in a museum of accidents, and the poetics of loneliness
isn’t allowed to exist.

Wishing against wishes
that I was the one
holding onto the smoking gun
instead of the one
with the gaping hole
where a beating heart
used to be.

Between countless coffee cups
and pauses in puffs
the silent stares and the idle thoughts
you are here, existing
and sharing the same air
so that my breath exists
as a part of yours
even if
for a little while.

And I have loved you more than I anyone I have loved before
( How would I know, as there has been no one else )
Perhaps more than I will love anyone, ever
( And I know for sure )
I set up my defences on the outside, but maybe I needed to protect myself from myself
( But what would you have me do )
When you see lightning for the first time, a wonder out of nowhere
The way it streaks across the skies, like you often streaked across my mind
When every subsequent clash of atoms and eons will never equal the first time
Seeing magik marble across your eyelids, a smile adorns your face
And you know you will never be the same again
( So what of this pain, will it ever subside )
Perhaps a memory can transform into a throbbing hurt
One that comes and goes, like the ebb and the flow of the rushing tide
Or triggered by a smell, a perfume, the sound of laughter
that could’ve been yours, or the way someone holds onto their fork
I never thought it would be you, but now you are a throbbing pain
Unmedicated, unattended but a mass of self perpetuating burning questions
Like neurons (mis)firing and kneejerk reactions
Churning out what if’s and propositions and assumptions and empty dreams
You birthed a thousand little cares that linger at the back of my throat
Causing me to gag every so often
But the mast has been set and this rotting ship will continue to sail
Rickety as she is, she searches for replacement parts
All the while creating myths and legends and convulated stories
This tunnel is long but maybe there is a glimmer of hope at the end of it
I can hold out for a breath of fresh air, something must remain
( But what of those questions that still remain )
Maybe I should have tried a little harder
Fought a little more, shouted a little louder
But you can’t stop the path of a tornado
I stood in front of it and was swept off my feet
And it pulled wool over my eyes, but I still saw the light
Filtered as it was through unravelling strands of thread
Pull, pull, pull
Until it all comes undone.

I’m starting to forget
the little things about you
and how I said I’d never forget
I’m starting to forget
on a cellular level
the feeling I felt when your hand was in mine
and like tendrils of mist
your memory snakes away
slipping through my delicate fingers
but it is nugatory, wasted effort
like holding a phantom, praying day won’t come
because you are a shadow
slowly fading into the light.

What is it you see when you look in the mirror everyday
Are you looking for something that should be there, or is it staring you in the face
Deep down we all know that we’re always creating something out of nothing
Giving life to an illusion, creating a seperate reality
I suppose that’s how we survive
Each and every one of us so sure of our own realness
Or maybe, we’re so sure of our illusions
that we’ve forgotten what’s real and what’s not
It’s easier that way, for some, for most
We spend our time crafting our identities,
however illusionary, however far fetched, however unbelievable
And that biological puppet we’ve been stringed up to is more real than flesh and bone
Because the faces that we see are not our own
They’re an invention, a facade, a defense mechanism
I think that in the quiet moments we don’t really like ourselves, our real selves
That’s just too much reality, too much truth to handle
It’s like removing your make up, getting undressed and going out into a crowd
Bare faced and naked with nothing to hide behind
Letting strangers inspect every crevice, every flaw, every thing
So we pump ourselves full of chemicals
Fill our veins with mindless entertainment
Just to hush the voices
All in the hopes of forgetting
Forgetting that it’s more than just bodies spinning around, going through the motions
It’s about maintaining the misalignment of nerves and the misfiring synapses
So that even if you wanted to, you would never know which side of the fence you were on
You’re lucky if you find yourself in the shade
But if you happen to be in the path of a hurricane, I guess you wouldn’t any better
All those bruises and scars will seem like they were meant to be
And in time, your broken heart will heal, just not in the way you thought it would
And you’ll question everything
You’ll question your father, your mother, your lover, your God
Because you know that branches and debris alone can’t do so much damage
Was man supposed to love so much that it hurt?
I guess yeah, but not in the way that love was meant to be felt
Who knows how we’re meant to love
If you’ve never been in a gunfight, how would you know what I was talking about
And yet, we all talk
We talk like we know what we’re talking about
But no one seems to talk about the important things, like time and death
They bring life to the things that are worth knowing
Just look into the eyes of everyone around you
Forget other people, look into the mirror at yourself
When it comes time to go, everyone welcomes it
We finally realise and accept how easy it is
Or maybe we’re just grew weary of pretending
Because in the end, it’s refreshing to know you don’t have to hold on so tight
Letting go is accepting that your dreams; both good and bad, are just memories
Memories made of moments you keep locked up in your mind
Moments where you dream of what you should be, what you could be, what you’re not
And like all dreams, there’s a monster at the end of the hallway
But unlike all dreams, you don’t always wake up.

Have you touched someone lately?
Have you really touched someone?
Remember their skin?
How did it feel?
The texture, the imperfections, the scars?
Have you ever touched someone with the purpose of remembering how they felt like?
Have you ever touched someone just to feel how sunlight felt like on their skin?
Have you ever placed your hand on someone pulse just to feel its rhythm?
Have you ever traced your finger along their veins?
Have you ever imagined the blood running through them volcanoes erupting red lava?
Have you counted someone’s freckles and kissed every single one of them?
Have you memorised every single contour?
Have you ever touched someone because you knew someday you would not be able to again?
I have.

You don’t believe in forever
So I guess it was only natural you turn leaving into an art
And you were so good at it, too
So good that I didn’t even realise, that
the first moment you kissed me
you were already planning your goodbye
and what a goodbye it was
It began slowly, quietly as whispers often do
perhaps you really meant it as a promise
but your winter chill touched me and froze me to the bone
Innocently I mistook every gesture, every sigh
as truth
But you were just steadying me for that final moment
And after leading me up the cliff of euphoria
you simply ******* a kiss
and I am free falling
off the edge
No parachute or safety net to catch me
I tumble into the unknown
You’re smiling that smile you always give
Like we had nothing at all
Your face serene

Maybe I should have seen it coming
When you stopped saying “I love you” back
Or did that became just another phrase to utter
when you felt there was nothing left to say?

A peculiar feeling
like a strange spell
cast over me
and dominates me
it’s a kiss like black magic
and a love like a divine light.

Such is the obsession
the minutiae of everyday life
or could you be a temptation
one much like an ******
coming and going without reason or want.

But the seduction exists
and in the end everything is clear
yet nothing remains
a subtext hidden in a satire of words
ever since Man walked in the Garden with the snake
when hearing your voice
sounds like friction against your skin
but the sentences you speak
sound unfamiliar, foreign and cold.

And love, what is this dagger
which stabs and hurts but does not hurt
a perfect marriage between madness and passion
with both arms tied and my heart bloodied in the corner
hallucinating promises
and straddling broken dreams.

Somewhere between the euphoria
we carved our names in the bark of time
amongst the laughter and your warm breath on my neck
through the drunken haze of night
when you traced a finger down the curvy vein of a map
do you remember my careless and fumbling hands
we groped for something as abstract as love
to the rhythm of phantom beats
like drumming on the dashboard to our favourite songs
in unknown places, and make belief spaces.

Between taming the lust and the passion that simmered
you didn’t mind when I kissed you on the lips
you said my mouth quivered
maybe it wasn’t me who wanted too much
maybe it was you who just didn’t try hard enough
you got me drunk
off a cocktail of maladjusted emotions, crossed wires and mixed signals
but let me tell you I never said I could fix your world
although there were times I wish I could have.

I hope she can fix you
    the way you never let me
ironically my heart still beats
    and sometimes, in the quiet of my dreams
its rhythm still spells out your name.

In the absence of your company
there are two things that happen

the first:
I miss you terribly
as I remember the little things that you used to do
the way your hair was always perfect
except for those moments when it was a perfect mess
you hated it then but I loved the imperfection.

I loved you when you thought you were unlovable
I loved you when you were a ball of nerves, a wreck of insecurities
because I saw you then
the person you were trying to be and the person you really were
if you’d only let yourself be.

In those moments I wanted to just grab you by your delicate hip bones and pull you closer
to tell you that this was you, and you are beautiful
in spite of the bite marks on your knuckles and the bruises that covered your young heart.

I would have held you tight like a bandaid
I would have blanketed you in kisses to chase away the pain
I would have bandaged your bloodied stumps with my words
and caressed your amputated soul.

I would have made you smile so often
people would think it was tattooed on your face
because your smile was magik
the way it started at the corners of your mouth
and travelled up to your eyes
like waves breaking and crashing on the shore
you caused a tsunami in my heart
and I’ll admit, I still feel you in my bones, like an aftershock once in a while.

I miss the way your eyes would wander to my mouth as you watched me speak
sometimes I got so self conscious wondering what you saw in me.

And remember that time you just had to feel me close to you
that you hugged me so tight and wouldn’t let go
do you remember because I will never forget.

I asked what was wrong and you said you felt needy and just had to feel some skin on your skin
that was the easiest you ever loved me because all I had to do was stand there
maybe that was the most honest you ever loved me
or was that you giving me hints that you were slowly leaving
was that the long goodbye?

I guess I’ll never know.
I bought into the promises born in your heart that died on your lips.

Remember the time you couldn’t keep your hands off me
when words were an inadequate commodity
insufficient at conveying how we both felt about each other
it was more hands and touching than words and talking.

In the absence of your company
there are two things that happen

the second:
I hate you
I hate how you make me feel
like I wasn’t good enough for you
and I hate that you made me believe I could have been.

When did it become so hard
when did wanting someone become such a chore
I was working my *** off trying to be worthy of you
and although love takes no prisoners
of all the people out there
I never thought it would be you

to drive that stake through my heart
and twist it just so I knew you meant it.

I hope you know your leaving has left tears like a junkies tread marks staining my cheeks
it would have been so easy to make me yours
in fact I guess I was
you had me wrapped around your fingers
around the poetry you wrote
I danced with every syllable and alphabet
twirling at your every whim and desire.

I’d have gone to hell for you if you asked me to
but I was never riding shotgun on your little adventure
it was more like me running 5 steps behind you
waiting for you to turn your head a little so I could catch a glimpse of your face
and when you did it felt as if the sun was shining on me
I didn’t realise you were turning back for someone else.

I guess you cheated us both
the difference is that you didn’t choose me
and a loser is a loser not matter who the competition is
in a court of Kings I was the arrogant Jester
and you choose your Queen among the royals.

Hidden under your shadow I was catching crumbs from your table
until you were no longer hungry
and I was left to starve.

In the absence of your company, a third thing happens:
I learn to be strong
I learn to survive
I learn to get along
and I’m getting along just fine
… well maybe not “just” fine but I’m getting along.

It doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t still skip a beat when I see your face
or that my stomach doesn’t fill with butterfly’s at the mention of your name
I still freeze for a moment, a deer caught in headlights.

But these days when I fall asleep it’s no longer to the rhythm of a broken heart
I lit a fire and set our memory ablaze
in fact, there are times I go whole days without you traipsing all over the dying embers of us
kicking up memories and stirring up emotions.

And I may not be the same old me
but I’m not who I used to be
and in those twilight moments when you get lonely and want to revisit the memory of us
before you send me a text at 3 in the morning
why don’t you flip your pillow over to the cooler side
and hold your friend tight
because that could’ve been us
but you chose someone else.

Colour my soul
     in shades of sharp blacks
       with bright whites
    and smoke greys
        between hues of red
    and the tensed nerves
        of this industrial city’s
grim reality.

come Closer
but remember The First time when
I Was A Fool
… A Fool To Cry
”I Know I Know I Know”
my displaced pride exclaims
but Back In Your Head
i’m Walking With A Ghost
who whispers sweetly, “Goodbye, Goodbye”
maybe once i was your Heartthrob
but you kept shouting, “I’m Not Your Hero”
and the echoes reverberate against the stained glass windows of my heart
Where Does the Good Go
when things fall apart?
and Now I’m All Messed Up
and So Jealous refusing to Call It Off
the unnecessary flirting and asking for My Number
because i never claimed to be an angel
and the Dark Comes Soon
but you were well versed in This Business of Art
the art of illusion
but in spite of my warning that You Wouldn’t Like Me much
you went ahead and canonised me
and with that Sainthood i tried to Fix You Up with clumsy hands
frustrated I Can’t Take It
so stepping away i ask myself,
”How Come You Don’t Want Me?”
this relegation to my own version of Hell
when Freedom feels more like Dancing In The Dark
spinning wildly in your Living Room
and Under Feet Like Ours, broken glass
your hand holds me like the vice grip of an Alligator's bite
and when i was younger you always Drove Me Wild
as Love They Say
sometimes feels like kissing Underwater
to discover one another was like studying the Floor Plan of your heart
If It Was You, there would be me
and This Is Everything that we would need
i would be that Shock To Your System
the North Shore claiming lost ships like strangers embracing long lost lovers.

Your smile sets me ablaze
and I swoon to the sighs of a confetti of tears
You offered me the world
and a stage of my own
And without permission you plunged deep into my subconscious mind.

Wanting more leaves you chasing whispers
Like a vanishing a shadow that fades into the light
A wreckage heavy with guilt
Sinking fast, into the depths of the unknown.

So there I stand with my heart in my hands
Pledging that to the last hour of my life
You cannot be anything but to remain
every part of me, every part of my being
Every good
Every evil.

Left alone in the wandering night
I shall end my book in the comforting shadows
In the uncertainty of the future
In the haunting of the past
And that is where I shall find myself living.

The beginning was benign
as most beginnings usually are
but how was I to know it would turn out the way it did
dangerous and unpredictable
hurtful and sad.

Sepia tints an old photograph
that I’d forgotten I took
in it we were holding hands,
smiling like fools
as our Blind Fingers danced a pirouette
gracefully, nonchalant
I remember your eyes as they idly traced
the outlines of my face
and how your tongue was like the ocean
and my lips the shores it died upon.

Perhaps one day
you will want me
the way that I want you,
like a desert rose pining for the rain
like a bruise wanting respite from the pain
like a scientist searching for a cure
like a sinner’s heart wants to be pure.

And I would claim you
like the last lakes of the green Sahara.

My satin sheets
were always bathed in starlight,
at least that’s what you kept repeating
But I just wanted you to know
that these walls
shine just as bright
in broad daylight
If you would have only waited
a couple more hours
to see darkness welcome in the morning
and I would have greeted you
with a smile so exuberant
that it would have put
the sun to shame.

I climbed your ribs to the very last rung
but in spite of the effort, bruised knees and broken skin
I’ll finish this race
where I started from
because someone’s future taunts me
sitting in a past I could never outrun.

My body is finally letting go
of the home
     I have made in this maddening silence.
           But it is I,
if there is anyone
     to be blamed,
for carving poems into my skin
and breathing a spirit into them
    in the image of you.

We ignored all storm signals
and scoffed at the rolling thunder and flashing lightning
but when the skies opened and she cried without end
we stood our ground and cursed the Heavens above,
we were never good at building boats
and as the ground shook beneath our feet
we bit our lips, and tried to raise the Titanic instead.

Quieten your mind and steady your heartbeat
Close your eyes and listen
The wind she howls
And lightning paints streaks across the skies
The mountains they tremble
And thunder she rolls
I am unafraid and yet, moved to tears
This life is an adventure in your abode
You my Earth,
I am still
Deciphering your code.

Don’t tell me that it’s better off in the long run
That this will do us good
When I’m stuck living in yesterday
And you’re spending my tomorrow
with somebody new.

Sorrow isn’t a goodbye
It isn’t forgotten dreams shared over cups of bitter coffee
Sorrow is having love walk away
And realising it’s taking with it your best friend.

What of all those plans
Left out in the sun to dry
Old tarnished remnants, of how it used to be
Standing like monuments
Chiseled by the winds of time, until nothing remains.

That’s you riding shotgun beside the victor
Sparing a melancholic glance at me through the rear view window
I’ll wipe my face but you won’t see
These tears that stain
So as rivulets of black carve canals down my cheeks
Don’t you dare tell me that it’s better in the long run.

When it no longer hurt to hear your name said out loud, a friend asked me what it was like being with you. He broached the topic cautiously and with an apologetic smile on his face.

I said it was horrible. He said, “What? Why?”. I told him that the way you treated me, with the constant to-ing and fro-ing of emotions, left me with a bad case of emotional whiplash.

Then he said, “Isn’t that what love is? Love makes you confuse what’s up and what’s down”.

I told him it’s only ever worth it if you end up with the person. After all, no one remembers the runner up to any race. The winner takes it all, the loser has to fall.

If you’re browsing
for choices
go to the five-and-dime store
if you ain’t got the cash
whatcha still standing here for?

This ain’t no thrift shop
this is the real deal
there ain’t no ‘made in China’ burnished on my skin
if you want this
you gotta play to win.

I’m not here
to settle down
but I won’t take a
here-today-gone-tomorrow
type of love either.

I can pick myself off the floor,
open my own doors,
change my own lightbulbs,
and check own my black oil.

I don’t need
diamonds in my bathtub
but don’t think I’m just some old plaything
you can pull off the shelf
every time you get lonely at night.

I am not a phase
I am the whole **** cycle.

Treat me like your princess,
and I’ll treat you like a prince
but if you treat me wrong,
then I’m (not) sorry
but you’re gone.

Wasted too much precious time on Jokers,
it’s time to deal me a King.

In my darkened loneliness
memories of you dance before my eyes
so vividly in technicolor
and a lump rises in my throat
as your name floats about in my mouth
traversing the undulations of my crooked teeth
and teasing the sense regions of my tongue
I whisper your name
as if I were ascribing divinity
to those simple syllables
as if my incantations could bring you back to me
as if it were anything more
than words tumbling onto the hardwood floor.

Your hands
they speak to me
spelling out words
an elegant scrawl upon my skin,
an ****** kind of sign language
leaving traces of Braille all over me.

Don’t offer me the world
You can’t afford it,
and I have my own.

The shadow you neglect
that pause as you reflect
I linger like a scar
or a childhood trauma
seared into your memory
think of me when you sense the rain
or the scent of freshly cut grass
the echoes from the howling
of a lonely freight train,
because I am that ghost
haunting your past
living in the galaxies that collide
between your shoulder blades
or the bruises that rise
black and blue
under your skin
where sweet colours bloom
to a saturated hue.

My dear, you are rousing
   Exciting and stirring
     Soul searing
       Tear jerking
         Heart pounding
           Earth shattering
             But never mine to begin with.

We spoke about life together. And after the smiles and cuddles, your expression changed to one of sadness. You were sad about how everything was so temporary and fleeting.

"What about us?", you said.
“Are we just hitching a ride until something better comes along?”

So go ahead, ask me again about how our days are numbered. And I will tell you that this is true. Our days are indeed numbered.

But numbered by the amount of times you hug me from behind when I least expect it. Or the number of hours we spend awake whispering to each other over the telephone. What about the numerous times you read a text from me and smile from ear to ear like a crazed fool. Or all those minutes that have been lost tracing the veins on your hands and giving each of them feminine names. Let’s count the days by the amount of stolen glances we share. Or the secret jokes only we are privy to. I’ll count the days as I count the freckles on your back. And you number yours by the unexpected kisses you give me when no one is watching.

You towed your broken down
beat up, used, rusted old
Chevy into my workshop
smelling like crap, and looking a whole lot worse
she had a busted engine
sputtered like a plane
(but not in a good way)
you leaked black oil all over my floors
stains of which I still can’t remove
no matter how many gallons of bleach I use
the radiator, well let’s just say
had seen better days
the interior leather seats were torn
and the once slick body
looked like you had *******
some mafia kingpin
so I spent my days and nights
greased up and elbow deep,
in your muck trying desperately,
but lovingly
to do what a mechanic does best
and I was leaking time
like I owned it, when I could’ve
should’ve found a more profitable fixer upper
I told myself, no convinced myself otherwise
and eventually, against the odds,
fixed you
then some schmo walks in
a bulging from both pockets
from wads of cash
and grabs you right outta my hands
the you I returned
to a shiny beauty as best I could
with the tools I had
well then, maybe I did fix you
I just never realised, I was doing it
for someone else.

Do not mistake the pebbles
you grasp, white knuckled
in your hands
for stars
glistening in the midday sun,
for as soon as darkness lays her cloak upon the earth,
their shine dims till nothing of it remains.

We don’t need another McDonald’s,
Starbucks
or fat frying KFC
maybe just stop stuffing your face,
your ears, your mind
with all that BS they’re feeding you on TV
put down your smart phones
your tablets, your notebooks
just put them ****** things down
and look at me
coz if you ain’t ready to turn off and tune in
then maybe you should quit calling me baby
why don’t you return my keys
and forget my number while you’re at it
hey,
I wasn’t put on this earth
to be your charging plug point
for when your batteries are low
so don’t call on me
when you find some scraps of time
in your busy schedule
or when your boo forgets about you
and you need a shoulder to cry on
I ain’t your momma or your all day restaurant
and I sure as hell ain’t your personal ATM,
or your get-outta-jail free pass
if you ain’t here for me now
then all you’ll see
is the trail of dust I leave
as I drive away from your sad *** life.

You are enshrined in my chest
where every thought I think
or word I ink
is borne of you,
so when you left
time was rinsed away

and I miss the most
all that I had lost.

I was the perfect prayer
in your desperate hour

with my heart and soul
in your irreverent hands

I was the faith
seeking out the heart

you the unbeliever
too proud to believe.

Memories stay with me like children
Children borne of my own flesh and blood
Children made from me and you
And as my own I will cherish them
As they grow within me
They will keep me warm through cold nights
and lonely days
They will grow sweeter in time
And in time I will learn to love them more than life itself
For that is what I will be left
when all else fails
And on my deathbed they will surround me
And perhaps out of pity
even the worst of my children
may lie to me
Soften the blow and tell me
lies about how it really went
And maybe I will live forever
In the remembered lives
of my progeny
Please remember me fondly.