J Lee: Poems

Dec 2020 · 162

E

J Lee Dec 2020

E

I know the end is as clear as crystal.
every bridge burns after you strike a match.

Dec 2020 · 139

P

J Lee Dec 2020

P

Please, understand I did this because I love you.

Everytime I lie awake, wondering what your thinking.

I stop, and remember your only thinking of her.

Dec 2020 · 140

o

J Lee Dec 2020

o

Oblivion,
where out future lives on.
It always a rainy day there.
Cold as the heart you handed me.

I haven't missed you yet.

Dec 2020 · 91

H

J Lee Dec 2020

H

I see you,
You look right through me,
I scream,
You don't hear me.
I trusted you,
no one believes me.

I may have actually gone and lost my mind, while trying to forget you.
Running faster and faster...
to catch you while you slip through the cracks left in my smile.

I spread myself too thin,
maybe thats why I ended up broken..
I remember it all,
that december,

I dont love anyone else..
not even myself..

Dec 2019 · 464

I spy

J Lee Dec 2019

I spy

I spy..I spy;
I spy with my little eye, a heart that is broken.
I Spy, with my little eye,
all the scars buried within a smile,
I spy, a broken dream.
I..
I spy with my little eye;
an empty soul, that never learned to love itself.
I spy a mind, crumbling with rage.
I spy a man, preparing to be alone.

Dec 2018 · 370

Smile

J Lee Dec 2018

Smile

I'm broken, but you aren't allowed to know that.

I'm screaming for you to love me..

You've never seen me cry..

I die every time I have to smile for you.

Nov 2018 · 2.9k

Liar, Liar

J Lee Nov 2018

Liar, Liar

There was a darkness in you,
You should have been sent to me with a sign saying..
" Warning I'm a Liar".
So, Liar, Liar how do you love yourself;
Liar, Liar with the smile so fake,
Why not one more slice till it seals your fate.
Liar, Liar They will never understand what make your tears fall;
Liar, Liar remember its all in your head, monsters don't live under the bed.
Liar, Liar Run, stumble trip and fall,
Stop running from your own hell,
Liar, Liar you wont escape us, Yes were real,
Whats that you hear? Who are we? We are your fears.
Liar,Liar go head be obsessed sent those texts you'll never regret.
You..you know that he will never call.
Love doesn't exsist after all.
Liar , Liar you're heart only knows how to fall to pieces.
Liar, Liar You've enjoyed being alone;
Liar isn't afraid anymore?
Liar forgave him?
Liar? Liar.. Are you still there..

No?
Liar, that's not fair at all..

Oct 2018 · 159

Stranger

J Lee Oct 2018

Stranger

I want to feel all the pain that has built you.
I want to see the memories that break you.
I want to know, what makes your heart race.
I want to know what scares you.

Don't fight it.
I know you want me to destroy you,
If it's honest love you want
Hope will breed eternal misery.

May 2017 · 246

Us pt2.

J Lee May 2017

Us pt2.

What happened to us.
We destroyed each other.
I miss you..
Did you fall in love?
Dont forget me.
I wont let you love me.
its hurting both of us.
We love each other.
I think.
You love me more than I love you.
Its not fair to either of us.

May 2017 · 147

Only Love

J Lee May 2017

Only Love

I'm not supposed to miss you.
So they say.
But I think of you
Almost everyday.
I keep telling myself that I'm not supposed to love you.
That's why you hold her close.
But here I am.

Heavy hearted
I'm scared that I love you.
I don't want to take your happiness.
But I want to take away your pain.
laugh through your tears.
Even though its all said and done.
You're the one who holds my heart.

I keep telling you not to miss me.
But you still think of me.
Sometimes
I keep telling you not to love me.
I'm too dangerous.
But there you are.

Holding onto a battle you'll never win.
You want to be happy.
but with happiness is new pain.
you're heart isn't done healing from the last time.
And I'm still the one who broke it.

We constantly live in a fantasy where nothings changed.
Its our only comfort.
Nothing bad happens there.
Only love.
a play ground for our hearts,
Where our dreams for the future are still alive.
before our hands turned to ice.

#brokenhearted #insomnia #love #free #verse #depression

Mar 2017 · 450

Untitled

J Lee Mar 2017

Untitled

Don't speak
all you speak are lies
Just stop and listen to me
understand me
breathe me in and hear me.
Ill keep your secrets as if they were my own.
Bottle my tears for another rainy day.
This was no accident.
You broke my heart.
Maybe its a cruel joke on me.
Am I talking to myself?
You dont ******* care.

Feb 2017 · 607

.....Slay Me.....

J Lee Feb 2017

.....Slay Me.....

I cannot hide
I'm drowning inside.
Help me..
Slay me..

My demons are multiplying.
Lips are chapped and faded.
Its grey and cold outside.
I'm a hazard to myself.
Destroying former beauty.

This is a hell that shouldn't be reckoned with.
Lets never speak again.
So close to being in love.
My heart lives in the coffin I drag behind me.

The truth is you could slit my throat
And with my last breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt.

Because **** this fading world.
Slay me..
I don’t think about this often.
But when I do..
My god when I do..
I beg you to slay me .
Fade my life line.

Monsters watch me through the windows as I pass by.
Their lips curl into a smile.

Slay me..
Is there no help for me??
The shadows prove I'm alone.

Take my death and use it as a PSA.
I have a terrible fear that I may be loosing it..
Its so unbelievably hard
Wake me up from this nightmare..
Slay me…

Nov 2016 · 246

..Not a poem..

J Lee Nov 2016

..Not a poem..

Who knew a set of eyes could take my breath away.
Who knew her laugh could be so contagious.
Don't even get me started on that smile.

Who knew I could see into my soul.
Shes all I dream about now.
I'm loosing sleep for all the right reasons.
We saved each other from our demons.
they play nicely together.
I wish I could be a better person for you.
But its the hell we dragged ourselves through
that brought us together.

This is not a poem.
I am not a poet.
I am simply a person pouring their love into words.

Oct 2016 · 213

Prisoner

J Lee Oct 2016

Prisoner

Where the light once showed there is a darkness.
It's grey and cold.
It rains most days.
The sun stops rising.
Cries for help are never heard.
It's you're personal hell
" Am I going insane?"
Probably..
Locked inside..
Alone
Fearing what the future may bring.
Days become nights.. And nights they never end.
back and forth..
Forever a prisoner of my mind.

Aug 2016 · 303

Lifeline

J Lee Aug 2016

Lifeline

This is no longer just poetry its a lifeline.
I'm afraid too loose this little motivation.
Always on the hunt for a little more time....
searching wandering
looking to the skies
Birds they repeat the lies.
Do you even believe in yourself anymore
Faithless
Hopeless
Follow the skies, to open your dead eyes.

TBC...

Aug 2016 · 250

Untitled

J Lee Aug 2016

Untitled

I never thought the world could look so grey,
Or felt this kind of cold before.

I've never wanted to shut the world out,

I never thought love would feel so wrong to me,
Or see a day where music didn't have a meaning.

I've never wanted to hear your empty words,
Or make a promise I couldn't keep.

I never meant to push you away,
Or block the world away with my headphones.

I never would ask you to forgive me,
Or let my self inject your heart with Novocain .

I didn't know I was hurting you.
or myself in the process.

But now I'm out of words to say..
guess I'll put my headphones back on.

Jun 2016 · 248

No

J Lee Jun 2016

No

" Stop asking me questions.
I don't have the answers your looking for. "
" I never have.
And I never will. "
Answer my questions;
Do you love her?
Do you know her heart is beating...
Can you hear her when she screams your name.
No.. You only hear the voices in your head.
Telling you your better off alone.
Telling you, that you don't need her anymore...
To just let her ******* heart rot away till there is only microscopic traces of it left, and watch her as her skies become gray.
Back and forth
Back and forth over and over with meaningless words.
Can you answer my questions?
No?
What of one day she looked into your eyes and returned her pain to you.
Would you answer her then...
No...

Apr 2016 · 278

Music

J Lee Apr 2016

Music

There it is again.
It plays in your dreams.
In your nightmares,
You've heard this song all your life.
But could never figure out where its coming from.
Is it from emotion
Or maybe your heart...
What about your soul..
Maybe?

Mar 2016 · 409

Social

J Lee Mar 2016

Social

Social,
What defines social.
Is it how many friends you talk to,
Or is it how many followers worship your every word...
Who knows..
Maybe social, is code for be someone else..
Or.
Just maybe its hide your every flaw.
No?
Well I say **** the media.
**** the rules that say if your not pretty or dying your no one.
But that leaves it to who I am..
Who am I?
I'm just another person on social media trying not to look any different from you.

Feb 2016 · 288

Us

J Lee Feb 2016

Us

You,
Me,we stare up at the stars,
We dance to the rhythm of our hearts.
I fall deeper and deeper into love with you.
Us..
You,pull away;
I,still swear I watched the light fade from your,eyes..
We,didn't make it to forever.
Us..
She was in your smile today.
I felt selfish for wanting one last kiss.
You,told me goodbye
While he told me hello.
US...
Were friends now...
I'm thankful for that..
You,you're still in my life..
Me? Well, ill be ****** if I go anywhere.
So that's it I guess. Were..back to..Us.

#love #friends #breakups

Feb 2016 · 256

battle

J Lee Feb 2016

battle

You say you love me..
But love her too..
I say I love you but.
He loves me to.

You are my ray of light..
But she is yours..
I'm his light.
Be he is darkness.

We battle at our hearts desire .
There are no victory's.
Only Victims..
And our battle has just barely begun.

#lovehurtbreakups

Feb 2016 · 266

**Rain**

J Lee Feb 2016

**Rain**

They say after it rains the sun will shine.
they say after you cry you'll feel better..

But, What if what we are told are lies.
What if were meant to cry in the sunshine,
and smile when it rains.

We treat the sun as a prize.
Reaching to the light after a storm.
Clarity??..maybe..
Or is it for that rainbow that never seems to go anywhere but goes on forever.
Who knows..
I know.
The Rain knows..

Nov 2015 · 372

Burn

J Lee Nov 2015

Burn

Pale skin
pink lips
dark eyes..
Cloudy skies,
Raining from the tears she cries.
Hard to breathe
Suffocation.
Migraine from monsters banging on the walls..
one hit..two hits..three hits..four..oh hell why not more..
with burnt lungs
all her fears are lit up in smoke.

Sep 2015 · 266

Ink

J Lee Sep 2015

Ink

I** am a writer,
A believer,
A broken heart that needs fixing.

You never expected my ink to spill.

Blank pages waiting for our story to be written on,
Ink runs through my veins,
I'm sitting here with out a muse..with out a pen,
Waiting for you to return my inspiration to me.
I'm a writer who's out of Ink.

Jun 2015 · 311

Good Bye

J Lee Jun 2015

Good Bye

Pour me out on the concrete next your feet

Do I have to cry for you to listen.

Do you not hear me?

My pleading Don’t Leave me behind

This world is so cold with out you here,

Having to face the the fear..

That lies we hear are real.

We are blind don’t you see,

We could have had everything

Still my heart you stole

But what for.

A kiss?

A trust that is the most common to be broken.

All for what? One night without my memories.

Or just a simple ****.

Its over now.

You apologize,

but an apology won’t help to heal this broken heart.

To say goodbye.

Is a simple hello.

May 2015 · 295

Fly

J Lee May 2015

Fly

Because you are my heaven.
You are my hell,
My blue skies, And my darkest nights.
My never again.. and one more time won't **** me.
Most of all.. I hate that I love you so much.
You're my please don't let me go... but leave me alone.
You, are my angel flying high above me.
Secretly by my side when your on my mind.
You're the reason I live as I envy your death.
You have been my greatest sacrifice..but I could never feel more selfish

You are the demon I wish I could get out of my head..
I was your angel that failed you.
I took away what you needed the most.
I am a thief.
I am your heart and soul.

Apr 2015 · 282

With out you

J Lee Apr 2015

With out you

With out you I would have never known what it was like to love.
Never known what it was like to have the world around me melt away
Never be able to see how bright the sun truly is..
Or even how much I hate myself for falling in love with you.
With out you I wouldn't be able to say I was happy.
Ot that your a big part of who I am now.
With out you you I wouldn't have survived the past two years.
With out you I wouldn't have learned how to breathe.. or fly
with out you I wouldn't know how much I wish I had died....
Without you.. I wouldn't Be Me.

Apr 2015 · 274

Ouch

J Lee Apr 2015

Ouch

My pain
is a fire that burns me..

My mind is inside out.
..take me off the edge of this bridge
Wake me up from the nightmare that Is you.

Im dead to you..
I was never really alive to start with.
But for some reason
how I still managed to love you..
Is a mystery both magical and terrifying..

You cut me like a knife
and my secrets spilled like blood..
You even told me to run.
there was just so far I could before I would break down
I'm just trying to stay one step ahead.
Your claws dig deeper into my soul
tearing out what remains of my heart.

Apr 2015 · 357

Haunted

J Lee Apr 2015

Haunted

My family, Well they think I’ve lost my mind.
I tell them i keep seeing you in my dreams.
Where,nothings changed.
Side by side, my hand in yours.
You have that smile that makes my heart race.

I know as long as you love me I’ll be okay.
But, your not here and Im alone now.
I think I’m lost.
All I have are memories.
Ill start to fell better then i trip over myself.
Am I fool for loving you?

— The End —