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My friend might look through
The photos of you on your Twitter feed
And make a verbal comment like,
"****, aren't they hot?"
And I wouldn't say anything.
For while yes, anyone could call you
Conventionally attractive,
I find it is not
Your perfectly chiseled jaw
Nor your pristinely muscled bare chest
That hold my eye,
Not while my attention could better be put to use
Looking at your actions, your words,
Being pretty is one thing,
But that is not what I may wish for,
Because whenever you write something,
The wisdom in your words
Is like poetry
In all its honesty.
Someone comments, "don't you just
Wanna kiss them?"
And honestly. . . Not really
But
That doesn't mean
I don't wish
For something.

I want
To have deep and meaningful
Conversations with you,
About philosophy, or heteronormativity,
I want to challenge you
With insane and sickening moral dilemmas,
Get you to pronounce f-
If you've ever heard the word before

When you cry,
I want to be there
To make your tears go away,
And kick the **** of the *******
Who broke your heart
Like some overprotective big sister
(Even if I am almost 10 years younger than you,
What of it?)

I want to respect and uphold you,
Give you dating advice to find someone
Who will respect and uphold you more.
I want to be brutally honest
When you show me how you dress for a date,
I want to tell you
How ******* flawless and gorgeous
You are with that new haircut
And how anyone saying otherwise is blind

I want you to accidentally say something
Mildly offensive
So I can tell you just how wrong you are
I want to accidentally say something
Mildly offensive
So you can lecture me
On just how wrong I am

I wish to be able to trust you
To stop me from falling off a cliff
And in return I
Will be your knight in shining denim
Come the zombie apocalypse
Or just some creep in the bar

I want to tell you how much you matter
While also feeling way too awkward to ever
Say something so explicitly romantic
I want you to feel like you can say anything
While needing you to know that you don't have to say anything

I want to know you
And I want you to know me

And who knows, maybe one day
I can love you as something more,
But here and now,
I just really wish we could be friends.

So if I stumble when speaking,
I'm not lovestruck
I'm just nervous
Because I have a habit of befriending people
W a a y cooler than I am
And I know that's not much of a difficulty
So
Would you be friends with me?
My father walked me down the aisle,
But my mother held my arm.
He went with me,
But we went not towards the altar,
But towards the door.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And the ***** rang through the church,
Humming through the elaborate crown molding,
Carved by my ancestors.

He went,
Not beside me,
But before me,
And I watched,
As he was illuminated by the bright,
Overbearing,
Texas sun.

My father walked me down the aisle,
But I did not wear white.
My father walked me in silence,
And I shed tears not for a man standing at the altar,
But for the one I would never see again.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And no veil obscured my face.
All eyes were upon me, but not for my pristine beauty,
Instead for my clenched jaw and furrowed brow,
Severe and fierce to distract from my glassy eyes.

My father did not leave me at the end of our walk to sit beside my mother.
She clung to me for support and sobbed breathlessly,
Loudly,
Unavoidably,
And I carried her with one hand,
My sister the other,
And walked towards my future.
A future family,
Not one person more,
But one person less.
I walked,
One final time,
With him.

My father walked me down the aisle,
And I will never forget it.
Hundreds of eyes isolating my family from the crowd,
Slow and muffled sounds drowning in the deafening beat of my heart,
Blurred faces staring,
Black heels clacking against the cobbled path from the church,
The anguished wails of my mother,
The whimpering of my sister,
And the wooden box that glided before us,
Pulling,
A string tied to our patriarch,
The pin key of our family,
Pulled taut and then snipped with the slam of the hearse doors.

My father walked me down the aisle,
Before I had a chance to grow up.
He walked me,
Out of the church,
Away from the altar,
Never to be walked again.
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