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dr Jade Jan 2017
Something always brings me back to you
In a circle, It never takes too long...
A heart doesn't realize what it's missing
Until something or someone makes it whole again

And you hold me and you break me
You pull me in and you push me away
You say you need me then you leave me
You always kept me guessing, always unsure of my footing

I try to free myself from you
And I find I take two steps back
No matter what I say or do
I'm always drawn like a magnet to you

Do you love me because I'm fragile?
Even when I thought that I was strong
You've never made up your mind about me
And I lie to my heart, thinking that you felt it
dr Jade Jan 2017
It's 9 AM on a weekday
I'm going to play hooky and stay
Lounge on the bed like I have all day
Skin against the sheets, hair tumbling in waves

The smell of freshly brewed coffee with a hint of caramel
Awakens my senses and I stretch luxuriously
I see the source, a steaming cup of bliss
Delivered with a shy smile and a sweet kiss

You lead me by the hand
Out of your cabin in the woods
I find on a warm wooly blanket
Some china, silver, and crystal set for two

You start tickling me, like a devilish five year old
I retaliate with glee and abandon
Running around until we fall to the ground
The beating of our hearts, the only sound

We spend the afternoon talking and building dreams
Around us fall the red and golden leaves
Wishing for fireworks to light our clear sky
A magic shroud for where unicorns lie

We end the day with your head on my lap
My fingers through your hair as you take a nap
As I write a poem of what you mean to me
And this easy breezy day, just for you and me
  Jan 2017 dr Jade
Michael Jay
If I were your light,
     I would conquer all shadows
     From your mind, your heart, your soul.

I would chase your demons
     Until they expired. No more hiding
     Under bed nor closet. No more ghouls.

If I were your hero,
     I would keep you safe.
     I would heal your broken wings.

My strength would fortify,
     Reassure and comfort. You'd have peace
     Of such as the nightingale sings.

If I were your moon,
     You could fall asleep in the embrace
     Of my glow. Darkness no more.

But if I were the moon,
     You must be the sun. It is your love
     I reflect. Your love that I adore.
dr Jade Jan 2017
You crept up to me
Stealthily, silently
Occupying my mind
My dreams, my desires
Taking my heart
Unnoticed, unaware
Making me yours
Completely, entirely.
Out of the night that covers me,
      Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
      For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
      I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeonings of chance
      My head is ******, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
      Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
      Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
      How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
      I am the captain of my soul.
dr Jade Jan 2017
I've been fighting for so long
I have shattered views and broken bones
Those closest to me
Hurt me the most, Burned me to the core

I smile, though I feel like dying
I'm frozen to the bones, still I keep on going
Shackled by my demons and fears
I hurt myself more than anyone could ever dream

You are the light to the dark side of me
The gates of Heaven could open with a single kiss
These emotions play with me dangerously
I would kneel at your feet, if it meant you'd love me

Even when the darkness subsides, shadows still remain
It's hard to believe you're not a phantasm...fleeting, then gone
The doubt coils around me, choking me
Its sick cadence infecting me, taunting me
  Nov 2015 dr Jade
Ayin Azores
Dear You,

The universe can sometimes become too playful. It let’s you experience things that you wouldn’t want to experience, just for the plain reason that you must be able to feel the pain or the pleasure of it. You meet certain people in your life for certain reasons; some people that you don’t intend to meet and yet they suddenly become an extraordinary person in your life. Some you can keep, and some that you would just have to let go. You might think of it as something that generally *****, but it’s doesn’t **** really. It’s the universe’s way of showing you of what you might miss if you decide to prolong that exhilarating feeling, that it will somewhat bring awe, anxiety and even death – death of something that you wish would last for a lifetime. Because in life, you have to make decisions, you have to make choices, and those are facts that you cannot change. What is important is that at the end of the day, you don’t feel any regret for all the things that you did – intentionally or unintentionally. You might not want to admit this but, for that moment in your life, you felt high, you felt alive, you felt happy, you felt real, you felt wanted, and you felt loved.

If by any chance, you would want to make a rewind of every little memory just because you feel like it deserves a proper conclusion, don’t. It is a terrible idea; it may even be the worst thing that you would ever do to yourself, to your life. Because in life, there are no rewinds and there are no playbacks. We just have to move forward, forget a little maybe and learn to forgive, most especially if it’s yourself that you would want to forgive.

All the best,
Your own self
Wrote this about 3 years ago. Not the same feels as today but this is generally what keeps me moving forward. No regrets.
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