"I was never in love with you"*
is what I've said
while rolling my eyes.

You breathed a sigh of *relief
looked at me straight in the eyes
and brightly smiled.

'Sorry, I lied'
are the words
I'll never say out loud.

Millions of feelings
Millions of emotions
We know many
We feel some
But
We understand few
And so I feel few of them since you been gone
And since then,

Life without you is like the feeling
The feeling in which one feel empty
Life without you is like the felling
The feeling in which everything is blue
Life without you is like a feeling
The feeling in which all the shades are as good as grey
Life without you is like the feeling
The feeling in which sun is really not shinning
Life without you is like the feeling
The feeling in which there is screaming
without anyone actually yelling
Life without you is like the feeling
The feeling in which there are no word left to speak.
Life without you is like the feeling
The feeling in which there is immense pain while you breath

Give me a man with a beard and tattoos
a passion for books and a love of the blues,
a sharp sense of humour, his outlook carefree
and a belly that jiggles, no six packs for me. 

Give me a man who can't help but sing,
who sees beauty in raindrops and other such things,
one that laughs at my faults and excites at my plans
one that's proud to tell everyone that he's my man.

Then I'll give him a woman that smiles oh so proudly
and proclaims love undying from rooftops, quite loudly
I'd take care of him as he takes care of me
a happier duo you never will see.

Send him my way tightly wrapped in a bow,
I'll handle with care and unwrap nice and slow
this gift from the heavens sent here from above,
then I'll drag him upstairs and near **** him with love.

There's a mirror in the bedroom
in it stands a dying girl
fading now, her skin transparent
pale beneath her crimson curls.

Standing there beneath her heartbreak
weighted down by the love of man,
enchanted by her slowing heartbeat,
love lies bleeding in her hand.

Deep inside she holds a secret,
words that form a heavy cross
with brittle spine it's weight she carries
fearing judgement, feeling lost.

There's a mirror in the bedroom
at my broken self I stare
shaking now, I'll start erasing
till I am no longer there.

How did we end up here?
This is not remotely what we planned
Young adults with once starry eyes,
Watching our dreams slip away like sand

There were goals and ambitions,
There were some mighty plans,
We knew their magnanimity,
But they seemed just in the reach of our hands

The hustle was always part of the deal,
We knew that from the start,
We hustled and sweat all we could,
We even gave it our heart

Do we accept defeat then?
And call it a lost cause,
Surely this can't be the way our lives end,
Let's just call it an untimely pause

The only thing they found under the bed,
were unmatched socks and worn out comics.
The real terrors that waited for me,
Hid inside my mind,
Somewhere between regret and worry.

Desperate to drift to sleep
I'd meet the monster inside.
He wouldn't try to attack,
He'd grin and I'd grin back,
We were the same after all.

That anchor you hold onto for dear life?
It may keep you from drowning,
But it's also keeping you from exploring the vast

Clouded judgement,
Clouded thoughts,
Clouded vision,
Clouded life,

Waiting...
*for the rain