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 Feb 10 Dishes
Gage D
These moments move much too fast
For the shuttering of cameras to capture
Blurry stills are all we have,
The album seems to fill up faster
Before we're grown and taunt
Lessons burned and bridges taught
Sit still
And capture her beauty before it moves again
 Apr 2019 Dishes
Here and Now
 Apr 2019 Dishes
What'd you do today?
Can i get a mere glimpse into the life i wish i was apart of, only to be one step closer to understanding your world that you think is full of stress and is anything but care-free as you think me?
Where've you been today?
Who'd you give the gift of your presence, what memories did you make without me? Did you laugh more than normal, was it peaceful? Did you have to look away to avoid eye contact with her when your feelings welled up from inside of you, as they always do, and come out on that face showing nothing but adornment? Did you see deeper into someone else or watch the sunset with a fairy with those cherry eyes of yours? Again?
How was your day today?
Did you make Tunica feel ugly? For once those questions are not my own and as i try to imagine your face as you wrote it a smile comes across mine.
The dynamics of relationships with people are crazy (I'm incapable of putting my scattered thoughts into words)
 Mar 2018 Dishes
Gage D
 Mar 2018 Dishes
Gage D
It's easy
We all have addictions
Yours may be a man, a woman
The warm touch in a cold night
Justifying the steps you take the day before or the breaths of air you take to keep going
The reason you live
The satisfaction of the primal need to be with something reminisant of what you also are
Because it's accepted
It's okay
It may be your screen
The stimulation blaring into your eyes, sending electrical pulses into your brain and overloading your dopamine receptors
Telling you
Because it feels realer than it is
It's okay
It may be your money
The little baggies you sell for a few more dollars more than you bought it for yourself
Telling you that even though you're worried about your next light bill
You made it for the night, at the wrist of blood spilled or money stolen
It's okay
It may be your drugs
The pills you pop, the cigars you roll tightly but skinnily to save your cash, the line you snort in the bathroom at your friends house and hope they don't find residue on their counter from it
But your heart races
Telling you you got there again
And you can keep doing so until you run out of money from this check
It may be your drink
How light the load on your shoulder feels once that wine you chugged when no one was looking hits you
The way you feel a breeze on your spine that isn't there
You feel your mind start to move the way you want again
Telling you
For the night
Until the morning
You'll feel better
We all have our addictions
The difference is
Do you know you're addicted?
 Dec 2016 Dishes
Celery and cigarettes,
We're running towards death to prolong our longevity.
Not knowing where I'm headed,
My confusion comes from brevity.

We face our fears
and hide our tears behind masks of
sad disillusion.
Is this reality or abnormality?

These thoughts are aren't brief,
and they're
turning my passions into a new disbelief;
he tries to proceed but I
stop him with the thought of good grief.

What's so good about grief?
The indian chief never wanted to part from the land.
The band never wanted to part from the the groupie
and the groupie never wanted to part with ***.

What's the next best?
The stolon of a strawberry holds this capability,
but the strawberry itself has
never truly a been a berry, botanically.

Mechanically this mechanism of
self destruction is much similar
to common day construction,
tearing down only the worthy attributes of land
only to build an empire
made of worthless sand.

Last night I dreamt and I have
yet to decipher whether or not it was real.
The way I feel is quite perplexing;
I strive to live in the now
but I'm always looking for the next thing.

In time I
think I'll remember
just what hasn't happened yet.
****** poem. Just thinking
 Dec 2016 Dishes
 Dec 2016 Dishes
I remember when I first felt the warmth of your brain;
The illuminating light that came from those pulsing electric tendrils of grey matter and the utter comfortability I felt when yours collided with mine and tiny nuclear bombs went off all over my skin leaving me with goosebumps everytime you spoke.
As we lay in fates womb,
Before we were aborted,
I couldnt help but know I wasnt worthy.
I still am not,
This is a different life anyway, for a different person.

My mind dresses you in the colors of fall and my heart smiles at the image.
Your dark hair falling down over a rusty orange sweater and the olive skin on your hands peeking out from the sleeves.
I often wonder if maybe I read the whole thing wrong.
That you were as into me as I was into you.
But the night we lay there,
And I lay in awe,
Literally prone to your beauty,
And I built up the gaul to bring my lips to yours and yours sat still,
I felt the wronger.
I felt as though I was treading waters you hadnt mapped,
That this wasnt in your itinerary.
So I backed off,
Shock turned to sorrow,
Sorrow was slain by shame and shame fell to sourness and I stamped out most all the flames around us.
But I kept one and will keep it always,
It burns forever a still image of you,
Smiling, looking up at the night sky,
Random nameless decrepit buildings all around us and a spotlight of warmth and connection and humanity in the middle of it all.
 Sep 2016 Dishes
Gage D
Our love wasn't based on how many times I could make you scream
It wasn't based on how many tears we shed
Or how many bottoms of bottles we saw together
It was based on the meals I made for you,
On the cups of tea you prepared for me
Or when I'd take care of your baby brother, so you could sleep a little longer, even though I'm not good with kids
Our love wasn't measured in cigarette butts,
Or pills split down the middle
No rush would make up for time lost
It wasn't the miles walked late at night to see each other,
Or what we'd do once we got alone
It was how I spoke to you in front of my friends,
Not what you told them when I wasn't around
Now I have no love to measure, for the people in my life to the things in front of me
I blame you, even though it's my fault
I'm cold,
Stoke the fire in my heart one more time
Before I die of hypothermia
 May 2016 Dishes
I feel it building up in me
brick by maddened brick
I felt it breaking down in me
break by bothered break

Slow it down
Soften it up
Let vines grow and make their way through the cracks in the walls and shatter the confinements around you
Let the vines sprout violet soft velvet petaled petunias
Stop and find them
Stop and smell them
Stop and touch them
Stop and study them
Stop and learn how they got that way
Stop and get that way

Feel it growing inside of you
seed by watered seed
because I've been so hard and cold and angry lately and I miss the peace
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