When we were little
They used to call them
Spotted
Orange
Lizards.

I think they were trying not to scare us with
The words
Standards
Of
Learning.

Standardized testing.

Those things that you need Number Two pencils for.

Those things that they prepare you for
Every year
For months.

Those things that if a cell phone goes off
The entire class comes back
During the summer
And retakes it.

Those things that they give you hours and hours
To take,
Out of our normal schedule,
Even though they only take
Forty-five minutes

Those things that don't even count
Towards our grades
Because
"They're really assessing the teachers--
But it's important to do your best."

SOLs.
Those things that people stress over.

Even though your answers
Are only
Tiny gray dots
On a
Scantron sheet.

I
Am
So
Bored

Civic
Studies
Oh
My
Lord

Droning
Teachers
Boring
­Class

Chances
Are
I
Will
Not
Pass

Half
The
Student
Fell
Asleep
­
Zero
Knowledge
They
Will
Keep

Civic
Studies
What
A
Bore

Good
T­hing
I
Like
English
More

Two dead fishes swimming in
This sea of ******* I’m gonna drown in;
Four Latin and one Chinese are
Playing songs that I wish I've heard.
But the tinted lights are whispering
“Stop”.
You tell yourself
All you need is another shot

Three words don’t form no sentence,
One look don’t lock no eyes. Twenty hours of
Talking don't unmask your disguise
Legs are numb hands shaken hollowed heart.
But the drunken brain is signaling
“Go”
There he dives
Not aware that the pool is dry

Nothing can change what happened
Lame jokes had been told. Blasphemous insults
That you could no longer withhold.
Erase your face your grace your ****** gaze
From the chamber that is screaming "Please
No".
After all, I
Guess they are all I'd ever know.

Don't be
A mole.

I hate moles.

They burrow
And
Scavenge
And
Live in the
Dark.

Thats just
What you did
To my heart.

You burrowed
Deep,
Down to the center.

You set up camp.
And I didn't know
You were a mole.
I thought maybe you were
A
Straw,
To ****
Bad things
Out.
So I kept you warm
And waited calmly for the
Bad stuff to
Dissapear.

But I realized
That
You were a
Magnifying glass,
To emphasise
My flaws

And you were
A
Seam-ripper
To
Pull the patches
From where
I had already healed,
To make the scabs
Bleed
Again.

And I thought you were
A
Jigsaw
And you were broken
So I could fix you
And put you
Together.

Like a
Vase,
Easily
B
r
o
k
e
n.

And
Then
You left me.

Like a
Tooth
Full of
Cav it ies.

That
Space
Next
To
My heart

No longer full.
And you
Didn't depend on me,
No longer a tapeworm.

I miss you.
Like
You
Were
Mine.

But you were
Never
Mine.

Your breath on my neck
So warm and welcoming
You started to pull away
Further and further
Suddenly
You were gone
An empty spot next to me
So cold
So empty
Mixed emotions
Unsure of what to do
Stomach turning, flipping
The urge to cry
The stronger urge not to
Stay strong
Stay strong
Stay strong


I'll try

I always do

Like a Phoenix rising from the ashes
I start life anew
A fresh, clean slate
I live with the things that happened
The horrors that haunt my dreams
And with my strength
I embrace the things to come
No person or event can ruin me
They only make me stronger, better
Positivity inked on my skin forever
A constant reminder of what is expected
What I expect of myself
strength
Perseverance
Love
The ability to love myself again
The ability to love others again
It is a long road that I must face
A constant battle with my worst enemy
Me, Myself and I
I am willing to take that risk
I am willing to fight the demons and the enemy
The challenge at hand
I crave it
I am ready for it