I'm very ******* lonely
But I can't face people

I'm very ******* sad
But I've stopped doing all the things I enjoy

And most of all

I'm really ******* hurting
But I still choose to hurt myself

It's not the darkness that scares me
It's the light

Because one thing I know
The only thing I'm certain of
Is that dark must follow light

it's difficult to describe
why your body chooses to spend weekends
alone surrounded
by the slimy tongues and bottled self esteem
take another hit
while your mind explores the chip on his front tooth or the sweat dripping off his eyebrow
your body takes the pounding while it whispers in your ear how little you mean and you tremble at the thought of being handcuffed
you wonder if he remembered your middle name
Francesca
or noticed the way that when you breathe in your collar bone protrudes
ill ring for you