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Sometimes,
I know I can be your worst nightmare.
But believe me when I say
That when I look at the moon
I think of you.
@Nicky563i
Hitting me, anger assuming it's
common place, during such
arguments of hate and jealousy
it can be seen in your eyes and
through every vein, that pulsates
through your body, back at me
red and igniting, your body it's
own temple of fire and petrol gas
thrown on by my ever answering
back voice, later silenced.

My only means of pacifying
you, is to pull you close as
rough as you drag me,
to the floor, kiss you and
allow you to **** me, forcing
all your weight upon, this now
fragile pale skinned girl, as no
light has crossed her bruised
face in so many days, food is
a weakness, her work her, salvation.


Submissive, I divide you in to
two separate entities, the good of
you, shows affection like no other
passion and commitment, flowers
show up at work, rings, bracelets,
gifts to appease my beaten self
making me, again, yours, again
**** me, it keeps the monster in
you, at bay, controlled I beg for
more, you liked it that way.

The power, it curbed the anger, curbed my, anxiety and fear of the
unknown, never able to control
the relentless moods demons that
raged through you each and every
moment, you looked me in the eyes
hatred or love, baby blue eyes you
would smile, baby blue eyes you
would swear, voice getting louder
walls broken, face smashed in.


How I left you, I will never know
only now do I see, nothing I did
or could have done, would change
what you did to me those days and
nights, of pain and torture, ****
me, maybe it was deserved or
maybe I made it that way to appease
him, even myself, but I ask what
would a real man have done?
answer, not that, right?

© Sia Jane
I uploaded this as "**** me" a couple of nights ago and freaked and took it down. But I have to not feel ashamed so here it is again ***
You took my hand
And made me stay
Drew me closer
And made me smile

Oh how I love how we swayed
That night.
Without music, without sound
Only breathing eachother in and out

You closed your eyes
I closed mine
"Forget the world just for a while."
I can fake a smile.
I can pretend that I'm okay ....
but I'm only in denial.
My hearts been chained I've been imprisoned by shame..

I'm fine F for forsaken
I for insecure
N for neurotic
and E for EMPTY.

A few more ****
a couple more beers
and I'll be able to ignore my pain till Tomorrow
that doesn't change the fact that I'm Hollow.

Caught between empty sheets I lie
awake and think of a way so I can
drown in your tranquil eyes..

The grass will never be greener my heartstrings
tug at a brighter tomorrow.

A few more lonely nights a couple more mind numbing days
and I just might live to see the light without its enemy, sorrow.

Tears run down my cheek today my dear but I'll never blame
maybe tomorrow I'll learn to live without the pain....

Caught between empty sheets the monsters inside my mind
will surely haunt me ,the more the better all
I have to do is understand your honest letter...
No matter where I go
No matter what I say
I will always be wrong
The daylight is always grey

For what I feel and what I do
Is a muted sound, unless there is you
Hands Held
Love Lost
Wounds Wrapped
Going, *Gone
I like short poems and I'm just trying new things. I'm not a good artist so let me know what you think so I can get better
I smile at beautiful things, at beautiful people
I laugh when I think something is funny or enjoyable
I talk to people and I have good days

But when I find myself to be alone, there is something that is broken
And I fall into a sadness so sweet, it completely envelops me
I look in the mirror and am uncertain of what I see
The tears always fall internally, especially when I am falling asleep
And I miss something that doesn't exist

It's just that, I have been sad for such a long time
But I can still find the light and I can still smile
I've been able to make it so that my sadness only surfaces when I am completely alone, with no one else as my company
Except for myself and all of the different voices that create thoughts inside of my head
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