every sooften, a day will wash over     leaving me
a little paler, a little thin ner

for the most part I crush it like a can and bury it in my chest,
pretend it's a necklace, wear a face to match
I'll take breaths so deep, but my chest won't move
up    or down, some days

I cut it into pieces, dangle it from the ceiling and watch it glint in the  
sunlight, some days

I pull it over my head like a blanket, and keep the dayshine
at bay, leave my limbs pale a little longer

somedays
it's almost a comfort

some days, It's almost as if
I breathe it as it
breathes me and

the wind we create together carries us
in it's length across
the valleys of our        
small universe

The preacher said
he was better
than the taxi-driver
because he showed
people, with all his words,
the way to Heaven

The taxi-driver said:
*"You might show them
the way to Heaven
but I show them the way
to God -
for everytime I start to drive
passengers start to pray
and they pray all the way
And I don't even have to say a word"

i fell in love with
the idea of you.

your dark, messy
unkempt hair.
your black eyes that
curve into
crescent moons
and are guarded behind glass.
your endearing laugh,
your unusual talents
and fearlessness.

but perhaps if i
peeled back the
layers of secrecy and humour,
your front,
i'd find a
vulnerable you,
a lost and afraid little child.
maybe that's why
i'll only fall for
the idea of you, and not you.

maybe i'm only in love with the
train rides and
inside jokes and
candid moments unseen by you but
ingrained forever in my mind.
those little quirks that are so you yet,
not.

and if you ever knew this,
you'd combust into a million pieces.
you'd fall into the deep abyss of
uncertainty, curiosity
and the world around you
would get even more crazy.

but i can't seem to let you go,
you're a burning field i'd want to lie in still.
right now,
you're the adrenaline in my body.
it's like you're pulling me into the depths
yet pulling me out
and i don't know who is stronger.

To be good,
to be caring,
to be kind,
to be loving -

I try.

To be gentle,
to be sympathetic,
to be humble,
to be energetic-

I try.

To be smart,
to be helpful,
to be present,
to be hopeful-

I try.

To be fun,
to respect,
to be happy,
to be perfect-

I try.


I try.


*I fail.

They were photo-shopped
Every inch of fat cropped
Cropped till there was nothing but bones
Cropped till society labelled them as beautiful
Cropped till they had boys falling at their feet
Cropped till they
no longer
needed
to be
cropped.

They had starved themselves
They were 'fat free'
They were
hollow
and

They were
empty.

Maybe
one day things will change
an unexpected twist in fate
will come hurtling through your gate

Maybe
it will different tomorrow
not the same as it was today
and all your troubles will be washed away

Maybe
tomorrow i'll remain the same
an awful poet, with an infamous name
but who knows?

Maybe
tomorrow you and i
shall glow.

Her words were
lipstick coated
covered, smothered by a rose coloured parka

And her heart was
wearing Prada
beguiling, smiling on the cover of Vogue

And her eyes were
drenched in beauty
rushing, gushing down both cheeks

And her tears
stained her face
with salt and sparkles.