I promise myself peace and serenity,
yet I strike at the first glance of a storm,

I think I know who I am,
but then doubt enters my heart
at the first introduction of confusion,

I prepare myself for the worst,
forgetting that good even exists,
like an infant,
believing that the sun has really disappeared
when it's just hiding behind a cloud

i confused
honey-dipped words
for unconditional love,

possessiveness
for protectiveness,

holding me back
for wanting me close, (as holding me close)

infatuation
for adoration,

and desire for devotion.

love me
like you really see me,
like you really need me,
like it's the only thing you were meant to do.

I look for beauty
even when it's dripping
in the corner of an alley
filled with all the monsters
underneath my bed
and inside my head.

I loved you

through the bitter

and you loved me

through the sweet

Pain's secret weapon
is numbing you
just enough
to barely be able to
feel anything,

taking away your rights to feel,
making you

pain's secret weapon

Pain is pro-abortion,

pain's secret weapon