Sometimes you stand aside
and weep over things not done
And sometimes you wait and wail in the wings
wondering where the rain beat you

i dread the day you learn
for the first time that
you can't just love all
the darkness in me away

and no matter how much
you care i will still toss
and turn at night and scars
might still appear on my skin

i dread the day you realize
that you can't cure me
and sometimes all you can do
is stand next to me and
hold my hand through fog
pouring out of my ears so black
and thick we can't even see
each other's faces

i dread the days i can't
get out of bed
the days you want to
take me out and all
i can manage is a prettified
shell of myself

i dread the day you learn
that sometimes no matter
how hard i try i still can't
pull myself together

the day you learn that
there isn't an answer
you can give that will
save me from my fears

you aren't the first person
who has tried to love the
darkness inside away
my family and friends
have given it their all
but someday you too will learn
that if love could
cure mental illness
the world would be
a much better place

i.
the other day i felt happy
today i feel empty
its like all my feelings drained out
and i tried to stop 'em
but they slid through my fingers
and seeped out
all gone...

ii.
i thought i knew who i was
but right now ive gone missing
an unknown soul
adrift in the world

iii.
on starlit nights, i look out the window
and cry into the darkness
i ask the universe who i am
and ask if it is calling
for i am here, answering

iv.
i still am lost
getting lost to not be found?

v.
its like a puzzle
some pieces are lost
but i am getting them back
...